Grandnada's funeral and nada's flying monkeys were everywhere!!!!!!

[Guest guest]

I just recently attended my grandnada's funeral last weekend and got an

unexpected surprise. I got an unexpected visit from nada's flying monkeys!!!

First, I was approached by my nada's longtime friend (I use that term loosely

since she cant stand her and has talked so much horrible stuff about her my

whole life). I thought I was going to be approached with the customary " Oh Im so

sorry for your loss " or " You're in my prayers. " but when she approached me she

said " YOU NEED TO LEARN FORGIVENESS... AND YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. " Are you

serious? At my grandnada's funeral? I was so shocked that my normal reaction to

comments like this wasnt even ready because I was so caught off guard.

Then, as I was watching my grandnada's casket being placed inside the hearst, I

see my nada's coworkers. Like any high functioning BP nada, she is the

fantastic, loving, caring lady at work which is why she only has work friends.

So naturally, they all see nada as the hopeless victim and me as the horrible

bitch daughter that doesn't talk to my mom since I married that " Horrible man "

(who treats me like a queen but nada doesn't see that!) Anyways, I say hello to

my nada's coworkers and one of them says to me " YOU REALLY NEED TO BE WITH YOUR

MOM RIGHT NOW. SHE NEEDS YOU. " Really?!!!! Why are you talking to me about my

nada at a funeral!?

Its so frustrating. How did I turn out to be a bitch when all I did was stand up

for myself for the first time in my life? And why are people making comments

about my personal situation? How is it any of there business? I would never say

anything like that to anyone because its none of my business.

The hardest part of this is knowing that my nada is behind it. This all would

never have been said to me if my nada didn't talk trash about me and my husband

to everyone. And how is that my nada goes off on ME and SHE is the victim?!!!?

UGHH I am so frustrated and upset I cant even talk about it without crying.

I am tempted on calling my nada's friends and setting them all straight but not

sure if it will do any good.

AJ

[Guest guest]

aj91507, that is why I call them " spin masters. " I lost my whole family on my

BP mother's side by this same means. I went NC and she spun the whole family

against me. Just like you say, it is so irritating to have her " flying Monkeys "

(I like that term, quite fitting) tell me how I needed to do this and do that;

totally unsolicited advice. They have no idea what they are talking about! BP

mother gets them all spun and sends them my way.

I just act like I have no idea what they are talking about and I let them

explain to me why they believe whatever it is that BP mother spun them to

believe. I respond with shock, like I had no idea she was saying such things.

This kind of exposes BP mother for who she is, if only temporarily.

Like I have shared in previous post, I don't think there is a way to stop the

spin master from spinning everyone she comes into contact with. You can't

unspin everyone that she spins; it would take too much time. I have better

things to do with my time than to straighten out all of BP mother's " Flying

Monkey's. " I stopped trying and I haven't talked to any of them in many years

now. It is too irritating to hear them spin away at me. I want to live in

peace.

>

> I just recently attended my grandnada's funeral last weekend and got an

unexpected surprise. I got an unexpected visit from nada's flying monkeys!!!

First, I was approached by my nada's longtime friend (I use that term loosely

since she cant stand her and has talked so much horrible stuff about her my

whole life). I thought I was going to be approached with the customary " Oh Im so

sorry for your loss " or " You're in my prayers. " but when she approached me she

said " YOU NEED TO LEARN FORGIVENESS... AND YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. " Are you

serious? At my grandnada's funeral? I was so shocked that my normal reaction to

comments like this wasnt even ready because I was so caught off guard.

>

> Then, as I was watching my grandnada's casket being placed inside the hearst,

I see my nada's coworkers. Like any high functioning BP nada, she is the

fantastic, loving, caring lady at work which is why she only has work friends.

So naturally, they all see nada as the hopeless victim and me as the horrible

bitch daughter that doesn't talk to my mom since I married that " Horrible man "

(who treats me like a queen but nada doesn't see that!) Anyways, I say hello to

my nada's coworkers and one of them says to me " YOU REALLY NEED TO BE WITH YOUR

MOM RIGHT NOW. SHE NEEDS YOU. " Really?!!!! Why are you talking to me about my

nada at a funeral!?

>

> Its so frustrating. How did I turn out to be a bitch when all I did was stand

up for myself for the first time in my life? And why are people making comments

about my personal situation? How is it any of there business? I would never say

anything like that to anyone because its none of my business.

>

> The hardest part of this is knowing that my nada is behind it. This all would

never have been said to me if my nada didn't talk trash about me and my husband

to everyone. And how is that my nada goes off on ME and SHE is the victim?!!!?

UGHH I am so frustrated and upset I cant even talk about it without crying.

>

> I am tempted on calling my nada's friends and setting them all straight but

not sure if it will do any good.

>

> AJ

>

[Guest guest]

See one of the good things about being at a funeral, is you can get away

with anything. You can scream and beat on their chests YOU BITCH!!, SHE

S GONE!

Everyone will be understanding because it s a funeral. Later you can

say, Oh, I dont know what came over me, I guess it was just the shock.

One might even say, you re right! I forgive you for being such a blind ,

interfering bitch!

People who have the brass to say such things at a funeral deserve

precisely the treatment they receive for it.

Doug

Sorry, by the way, for your loss. It hurts to lose them, even if they

are the dysfunctional family we have struggled with.

>

> I just recently attended my grandnada's funeral last weekend and got

an unexpected surprise. I got an unexpected visit from nada's flying

monkeys!!! First, I was approached by my nada's longtime friend (I use

that term loosely since she cant stand her and has talked so much

horrible stuff about her my whole life). I thought I was going to be

approached with the customary " Oh Im so sorry for your loss " or " You're

in my prayers. " but when she approached me she said " YOU NEED TO LEARN

FORGIVENESS... AND YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. " Are you serious? At my

grandnada's funeral? I was so shocked that my normal reaction to

comments like this wasnt even ready because I was so caught off guard.

>

> Then, as I was watching my grandnada's casket being placed inside the

hearst, I see my nada's coworkers. Like any high functioning BP nada,

she is the fantastic, loving, caring lady at work which is why she only

has work friends. So naturally, they all see nada as the hopeless victim

and me as the horrible bitch daughter that doesn't talk to my mom since

I married that " Horrible man " (who treats me like a queen but nada

doesn't see that!) Anyways, I say hello to my nada's coworkers and one

of them says to me " YOU REALLY NEED TO BE WITH YOUR MOM RIGHT NOW. SHE

NEEDS YOU. " Really?!!!! Why are you talking to me about my nada at a

funeral!?

>

> Its so frustrating. How did I turn out to be a bitch when all I did

was stand up for myself for the first time in my life? And why are

people making comments about my personal situation? How is it any of

there business? I would never say anything like that to anyone because

its none of my business.

>

> The hardest part of this is knowing that my nada is behind it. This

all would never have been said to me if my nada didn't talk trash about

me and my husband to everyone. And how is that my nada goes off on ME

and SHE is the victim?!!!? UGHH I am so frustrated and upset I cant even

talk about it without crying.

>

> I am tempted on calling my nada's friends and setting them all

straight but not sure if it will do any good.

>

> AJ

>

[Guest guest]

Oh, AJ, I'm so sorry that strangers treated you that way. That's obviously not

right, and it sounds like your nada has been working hard behind the scenes.

My advice is to try to let it go. You can still be angry--and you have every

right to be---but your Nada's friends are NOT going to listen to you. Know in

your heart that you are right and they are wrong. My husband gave me that

advice. He said to me once, " Why are you letting her get to you so much? You

know you're right. I know you're right. We know you're the one who's not crazy,

so who cares what she says? It doesn't mean anything. "

Just try to put it behind you. And if you're speaking to her, I'd say work on

cutting off contact with her.

Emotional ambushes like that are nothing more than ABUSE pure and simple. There

is no excuse for speaking to anyone like that at a funeral.

>

> I just recently attended my grandnada's funeral last weekend and got an

unexpected surprise. I got an unexpected visit from nada's flying monkeys!!!

First, I was approached by my nada's longtime friend (I use that term loosely

since she cant stand her and has talked so much horrible stuff about her my

whole life). I thought I was going to be approached with the customary " Oh Im so

sorry for your loss " or " You're in my prayers. " but when she approached me she

said " YOU NEED TO LEARN FORGIVENESS... AND YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. " Are you

serious? At my grandnada's funeral? I was so shocked that my normal reaction to

comments like this wasnt even ready because I was so caught off guard.

>

> Then, as I was watching my grandnada's casket being placed inside the hearst,

I see my nada's coworkers. Like any high functioning BP nada, she is the

fantastic, loving, caring lady at work which is why she only has work friends.

So naturally, they all see nada as the hopeless victim and me as the horrible

bitch daughter that doesn't talk to my mom since I married that " Horrible man "

(who treats me like a queen but nada doesn't see that!) Anyways, I say hello to

my nada's coworkers and one of them says to me " YOU REALLY NEED TO BE WITH YOUR

MOM RIGHT NOW. SHE NEEDS YOU. " Really?!!!! Why are you talking to me about my

nada at a funeral!?

>

> Its so frustrating. How did I turn out to be a bitch when all I did was stand

up for myself for the first time in my life? And why are people making comments

about my personal situation? How is it any of there business? I would never say

anything like that to anyone because its none of my business.

>

> The hardest part of this is knowing that my nada is behind it. This all would

never have been said to me if my nada didn't talk trash about me and my husband

to everyone. And how is that my nada goes off on ME and SHE is the victim?!!!?

UGHH I am so frustrated and upset I cant even talk about it without crying.

>

> I am tempted on calling my nada's friends and setting them all straight but

not sure if it will do any good.

>

> AJ

>

[Guest guest]

AJ,

Just wanted to say sorry you had to go through that. Sounds horrid and so

infuriating to be painted as the bad guy when you're the one whose been

victimised. I have had similar things happen - its so upsetting, but you and

those close to you know that you are a good person who has not done anything

wrong. I hope you are doing okay.

Sara

> >

> > I just recently attended my grandnada's funeral last weekend and got an

unexpected surprise. I got an unexpected visit from nada's flying monkeys!!!

First, I was approached by my nada's longtime friend (I use that term loosely

since she cant stand her and has talked so much horrible stuff about her my

whole life). I thought I was going to be approached with the customary " Oh Im so

sorry for your loss " or " You're in my prayers. " but when she approached me she

said " YOU NEED TO LEARN FORGIVENESS... AND YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. " Are you

serious? At my grandnada's funeral? I was so shocked that my normal reaction to

comments like this wasnt even ready because I was so caught off guard.

> >

> > Then, as I was watching my grandnada's casket being placed inside the

hearst, I see my nada's coworkers. Like any high functioning BP nada, she is the

fantastic, loving, caring lady at work which is why she only has work friends.

So naturally, they all see nada as the hopeless victim and me as the horrible

bitch daughter that doesn't talk to my mom since I married that " Horrible man "

(who treats me like a queen but nada doesn't see that!) Anyways, I say hello to

my nada's coworkers and one of them says to me " YOU REALLY NEED TO BE WITH YOUR

MOM RIGHT NOW. SHE NEEDS YOU. " Really?!!!! Why are you talking to me about my

nada at a funeral!?

> >

> > Its so frustrating. How did I turn out to be a bitch when all I did was

stand up for myself for the first time in my life? And why are people making

comments about my personal situation? How is it any of there business? I would

never say anything like that to anyone because its none of my business.

> >

> > The hardest part of this is knowing that my nada is behind it. This all

would never have been said to me if my nada didn't talk trash about me and my

husband to everyone. And how is that my nada goes off on ME and SHE is the

victim?!!!? UGHH I am so frustrated and upset I cant even talk about it without

crying.

> >

> > I am tempted on calling my nada's friends and setting them all straight but

not sure if it will do any good.

> >

> > AJ

> >

>