New to group

[Guest guest]

Just finished the first 'Eggshell' book and what a relief to find a place like

this. All this time I felt I was alone, and nobody had a wacky life like me.

Mom was the bpd in our family. What a piece of work. For a long time I thought

I had it too, but through therapy have learned that much of it was learned

behaviors that I thought were normal. Now that I have unlearned them, I feel

much better about life. She may have done the best she could, but what a lot of

manipulation and poison she put out. I think her mother may have had it too.

Still, when stressful times occur I fall back into the old thinking patterns and

sadnesses. My youngest son just left for college and that triggered a lot of

bad feelings and revived some unpleasant issues. I guess bpd is just the gift

that keeps on giving.

Recently in my therapy I have been working on forgiveness and just being more

aware of the moment. That is really helpful.

Jane

[Guest guest]

The hardest person to forgive was me. That took years. It is my big fat

opinion that unforgiveness towards others is often a projection of our inability

to forgive yourself. I think that forgiveness has to start with the self.

Forgiveness in my book means accepting myself as a worthy subject. Once that

happens, forgiveness of others happens automatically. I can then see them as

worthy subjects as well, from a healthy distance with healthy boundaries in

place.

Forgiveness does not mean forgetting and it certainly does not mean pretending

that reoccurring problems don't exist.

> Recently in my therapy I have been working on forgiveness and just being more

aware of the moment. That is really helpful.

Jane

[Guest guest]

Welcome!

I went to therapy thinking that I was crazy for wanting to " divorce " my BPD

mother. I told the therapist that I wanted a professional opinion and admitted

that maybe I was crazy and I wanted to make sure I got help.

She got this sad smile on her face and said, " The very fact that you are here

and talking to me about this tells me that you're NOT crazy. "

She is the one with mental health issues. I'm just learning to cope with the

fallout. I find it's really difficult to 'unlearn' everything. When I started

going to therapy regarding my nada and discovering the world outside of her

lense, I realized that I had to question basically everything I thought I knew

about life, people, and truth.

Nada made up her own world and trapped me in it for a long time. Now that I'm

free, I am learning what normal expectations of people are and what healthy

relationships are supposed to look like. It's scary at first, but rewarding.

We're here for you!

K

>

> Just finished the first 'Eggshell' book and what a relief to find a place like

this. All this time I felt I was alone, and nobody had a wacky life like me.

>

> Mom was the bpd in our family. What a piece of work. For a long time I

thought I had it too, but through therapy have learned that much of it was

learned behaviors that I thought were normal. Now that I have unlearned them, I

feel much better about life. She may have done the best she could, but what a

lot of manipulation and poison she put out. I think her mother may have had it

too.

>

> Still, when stressful times occur I fall back into the old thinking patterns

and sadnesses. My youngest son just left for college and that triggered a lot

of bad feelings and revived some unpleasant issues. I guess bpd is just the

gift that keeps on giving.

>

> Recently in my therapy I have been working on forgiveness and just being more

aware of the moment. That is really helpful.

>

>

> Jane

>