Guest guest Posted September 9, 2011 Report Share Posted September 9, 2011 First please let me introduce myself, I do not have a parent with BPD but my husband does. We have been married for several years and have a 16 month old. I have been trying to help him in dealing with his BPD mother and have encouraged him to keep up his counseling sessions. It is hard and difficult but he deserves to enjoy his life as he is a wonderful person and isn't this horrible human being that his mother has convinced him that he is. He has come a long way in the past two years but of course we will always have to work on dealing with the mother in law. My husband has decided to go NC with his mother since we had our child. It was a horrible decision to have to make but I stand by his decision and agree with it. She only sees our child as a means to get back at my husband and me and we have the duty to protect our child. Things went from crazy to insane from there. We now have members of the family calling us, emailing us, coming by the house to tell us what horrible people we are for keeping the baby away from her grandma. We get wild, disjointed emails from the mother in law and late night calls from my husbands grandmother. We have several incidents of the mother in law coming by the house and banging on the doors/windows and then sitting on our front porch crying. She has watched for me to go walking with the baby and then will pull up along aside us in her car - coming dangerously close to hitting us. I had no idea of what we were going to set off by making this decision. We don't respond to anything her emails, other family members bullying us, phone calls, etc... How long did it take for the NC to finally sink in with everyone? Does it ever? I don't want to have to start calling the police on my mother in law but I feel that the situation is getting worse by the day. Is the reaction always so violent? Sorry that this post is so long. It was nice to be able to speak to anyone who has been through this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 9, 2011 Report Share Posted September 9, 2011 Welcome aprille and all the other new members who have been joining the Group recently. Aprille, its not uncommon for someone with borderline pd (and possibly other Cluster B personality disorders at the same time, like narcissistic pd or antisocial pd or histrionic pd) to react badly to being given boundaries, and become hysterical, demanding, controlling, and obsessive in an attempt to manipulate others and get their own way. Its not as common for them to go so far as to make actual physical assault attempts, so, in my opinion is your mother in law is dangerous. Trying to side-swipe you with her car is a serious attempt to harm you; those who have no inhibitions about inflicting physical violence and little impulse control tend to escalate their violent attacks. Most of the bpd parents posted about here haven't gone to the extent of trying to kill or injure their adult child or their child's spouse, but there have been posts about some bpd parents who do go so far as to make physical threats or assault attempts. Take any physical threats such as this one very seriously. I hope that you will consult with a lawyer as soon as possible, and get the lawyer's help and the police's help to protect you. And yes, the next time mil shows up on your property, call the police and your lawyer. This woman needs to be under observation and getting a psych evaluation pretty badly, in my opinion. And please do not go out walking alone with your baby, please have a friend go with you. You need another adult to act as a deterrent and as a witness. Best of luck to you, dear. -Annie > > First please let me introduce myself, I do not have a parent with BPD but my husband does. We have been married for several years and have a 16 month old. I have been trying to help him in dealing with his BPD mother and have encouraged him to keep up his counseling sessions. > > It is hard and difficult but he deserves to enjoy his life as he is a wonderful person and isn't this horrible human being that his mother has convinced him that he is. He has come a long way in the past two years but of course we will always have to work on dealing with the mother in law. > > My husband has decided to go NC with his mother since we had our child. It was a horrible decision to have to make but I stand by his decision and agree with it. She only sees our child as a means to get back at my husband and me and we have the duty to protect our child. > > Things went from crazy to insane from there. We now have members of the family calling us, emailing us, coming by the house to tell us what horrible people we are for keeping the baby away from her grandma. We get wild, disjointed emails from the mother in law and late night calls from my husbands grandmother. > > We have several incidents of the mother in law coming by the house and banging on the doors/windows and then sitting on our front porch crying. She has watched for me to go walking with the baby and then will pull up along aside us in her car - coming dangerously close to hitting us. > > I had no idea of what we were going to set off by making this decision. > > We don't respond to anything her emails, other family members bullying us, phone calls, etc... > > How long did it take for the NC to finally sink in with everyone? Does it ever? I don't want to have to start calling the police on my mother in law but I feel that the situation is getting worse by the day. Is the reaction always so violent? > > Sorry that this post is so long. It was nice to be able to speak to anyone who has been through this. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.