Guest guest Posted September 10, 2011 Report Share Posted September 10, 2011 I posted recently about having to deal with my bpd mother during my surgery and illness. Just as I was trying to recover from that, there was a terrible flood in my area and I was forced to evacuate and stay with her. Obviously, this is a bad situation. Dealing with her, being ill and now the flood is just too much. I'm barely functioning and holding together. My whole life has been nothing, but sorrow, mostly because of this woman. I have tried everything to make it better, I put myself through school and years of therapy. I just don't see any happiness or love ever coming into my life. I'm sure people have lots of stories about how things have worked out for them. But is anyone else struggling with being defeated by life? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 10, 2011 Report Share Posted September 10, 2011 Hi I'm so sorry for what you're going through and what you're feeling. It's not good or right. I can only say, having been there too, that it can get better. Remember it's not life that has you down, it's being abused by the nada. By the most powerful voice in your head, making you feel horrible. This isn't you, this feeling is a reaction to being in close quarters with a BPD parent. You're thinking in absolutes " my whole life has been nothing but sorrow " Now I don't know you, but I suspect you can remember a moment here and there that were ok. You've got to remember that your feelings are real, but probably not accurate in this case. I highly recommend NC. Helps you to find your real self, not the nada-vision of you, and from there you will know what to do. I hope this helped a little. My deepest sympathy for the pain you feel. I hope you can find some light soon. -Terri > > I posted recently about having to deal with my bpd mother during my surgery and illness. Just as I was trying to recover from that, there was a terrible flood in my area and I was forced to evacuate and stay with her. Obviously, this is a bad situation. Dealing with her, being ill and now the flood is just too much. I'm barely functioning and holding together. My whole life has been nothing, but sorrow, mostly because of this woman. I have tried everything to make it better, I put myself through school and years of therapy. I just don't see any happiness or love ever coming into my life. > > I'm sure people have lots of stories about how things have worked out for them. But is anyone else struggling with being defeated by life? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 10, 2011 Report Share Posted September 10, 2011 I agree with Terri (not only because she has a great name..hehe). NC is so hard to initiate, but once you manage it things get better almost immediately. It's time for you to find out who YOU are. It really will get better. ________________________________ To: WTOAdultChildren1 Sent: Sat, September 10, 2011 4:51:51 PM Subject: Re: Defeated by life Hi I'm so sorry for what you're going through and what you're feeling. It's not good or right. I can only say, having been there too, that it can get better. Remember it's not life that has you down, it's being abused by the nada. By the most powerful voice in your head, making you feel horrible. This isn't you, this feeling is a reaction to being in close quarters with a BPD parent. You're thinking in absolutes " my whole life has been nothing but sorrow " Now I don't know you, but I suspect you can remember a moment here and there that were ok. You've got to remember that your feelings are real, but probably not accurate in this case. I highly recommend NC. Helps you to find your real self, not the nada-vision of you, and from there you will know what to do. I hope this helped a little. My deepest sympathy for the pain you feel. I hope you can find some light soon. -Terri > > I posted recently about having to deal with my bpd mother during my surgery and >illness. Just as I was trying to recover from that, there was a terrible flood >in my area and I was forced to evacuate and stay with her. Obviously, this is a >bad situation. Dealing with her, being ill and now the flood is just too much. >I'm barely functioning and holding together. My whole life has been nothing, but >sorrow, mostly because of this woman. I have tried everything to make it better, >I put myself through school and years of therapy. I just don't see any happiness >or love ever coming into my life. > > > I'm sure people have lots of stories about how things have worked out for them. >But is anyone else struggling with being defeated by life? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 11, 2011 Report Share Posted September 11, 2011 ((((())))) You poor kid, its been one traumatic situation piled on another piled on another for you in the last few months. Its no wonder that the future is looking fairly bleak to you right now. I am not a psychologist or anything, but I'm willing to bet that you are experiencing ptsd, and depression is one of the aspects of ptsd. Depression can make you feel hopeless, like there's nothing to look forward to. I hope you will take that possibility into consideration: that enduring so many negative, unpleasant, scary things one after the other might have given you ptsd and/or depression. The good news is that most depression and ptsd responds well to both talk therapy and drug therapy. I was going through a bad patch back about 10 years ago due to an extremely stressful, intolerable work situation (hostile work environment) and went to my general practitioner because I started having chest pains, couldn't sleep & was losing my concentration, was increasingly jittery and irritable. The chest pains scared me. Doc said my blood pressure was through the roof, and he put me on a short course of anti-anxiety meds. They calmed me down enough to remain functional, and I started working on changing my intolerable work situation in a very determined way. It took me a few months, but I got myself out of that hell-hole and into a great new department with a boss I respected and admired, who was happy to have me join his team, " et voila! " ...my anxiety cleared up enough that I didn't needs the meds any longer. I hope you find something that will help you, too. -Annie > > I posted recently about having to deal with my bpd mother during my surgery and illness. Just as I was trying to recover from that, there was a terrible flood in my area and I was forced to evacuate and stay with her. Obviously, this is a bad situation. Dealing with her, being ill and now the flood is just too much. I'm barely functioning and holding together. My whole life has been nothing, but sorrow, mostly because of this woman. I have tried everything to make it better, I put myself through school and years of therapy. I just don't see any happiness or love ever coming into my life. > > I'm sure people have lots of stories about how things have worked out for them. But is anyone else struggling with being defeated by life? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 13, 2011 Report Share Posted September 13, 2011 HEllo All, Just happened to read this posting tonight and it struck a cord in me. This has been a relatively tough year for me. I have had more somber days than I am used to and sometimes think I have situational depression. What pulls me up sometimes are the moments, but I also have to have a big picture goal that I am working towards, this helps me a lot. True > > > > > > I posted recently about having to deal with my bpd mother during my surgery and illness. Just as I was trying to recover from that, there was a terrible flood in my area and I was forced to evacuate and stay with her. Obviously, this is a bad situation. Dealing with her, being ill and now the flood is just too much. I'm barely functioning and holding together. My whole life has been nothing, but sorrow, mostly because of this woman. I have tried everything to make it better, I put myself through school and years of therapy. I just don't see any happiness or love ever coming into my life. > > > > > > I'm sure people have lots of stories about how things have worked out for them. But is anyone else struggling with being defeated by life? > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 13, 2011 Report Share Posted September 13, 2011 Wow, what a horrible situation to be put in! So sorry you have to deal with the flood and now living with your nada. Sometimes during situations w/ my nada or fada I feel that same feeling of, like, destined to be troubled by them. Even in situations that DON'T involve them, but are related, I occasionally feel that feeling. (For example, me being single for a very long time now, feeling like it's because I can't trust men b/c of my fada, so feel like I'm destined to be alone.) I'm really trying to change my thinking, because in my heart of hearts, I know that isn't true. Maybe it's something we KO's sometimes do as we were conditioned to pick up all the garbage from our nada and fadas, so we feel we deserve the sorrow we have? Not sure if that rings true for you or not. But I hope your situation improves. As others have said, if at all possible now, I would get as much space as you can from your nada, for your own well-being. I can;t imagine how stressful that would be. But if going someplace else anytime soon isn't an option, remember this situation isn't permanent! Hoping it's sooner rather than later for you. > > I posted recently about having to deal with my bpd mother during my surgery and illness. Just as I was trying to recover from that, there was a terrible flood in my area and I was forced to evacuate and stay with her. Obviously, this is a bad situation. Dealing with her, being ill and now the flood is just too much. I'm barely functioning and holding together. My whole life has been nothing, but sorrow, mostly because of this woman. I have tried everything to make it better, I put myself through school and years of therapy. I just don't see any happiness or love ever coming into my life. > > I'm sure people have lots of stories about how things have worked out for them. But is anyone else struggling with being defeated by life? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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