Guest guest Posted September 13, 2011 Report Share Posted September 13, 2011 hi everybody, I am new to this forum but am 46 years old, a lifelong daughter of a bd mother. over 20 years in therapy, my life is finally together a little. i have a loving husband and puppy that is the furthest expectation given to me as a child. i have learned a couple boundary maintaining skills but am finding myself ~perhaps~ in a place where i can finally grieve my lost childhood. about a month ago i spent the day with my mother/aunt/grandmother for the first time in years, and realized how completely self-absorbed and in need of attention they all are. something deep got stirred up because i had been self-medicating since the event. told my therapist about my drinking last week, and have made the bold attempt to face what i've been avoiding with her encouragement. nightmares of neglect and loss if i even manage to get some sleep. oddly enough, during this time, my in-laws were in town and spending two weeks with us. they went home on monday, and i have been walking around trying not to burst into tears since. mum insisted on getting me an indulgently beautiful potted plant despite my famous black thumb, and somehow that gesture is really getting to me. therapy is tomorrow. my hubs already knows i'm sad and missing his parents and even commented that i have a real mom and dad now, but here it looks like i am in good company to share what is going on unedited and wonder if anyone can offer their own perspectives. meanwhile my mother, not happy with how busy and " unavailable " i have been, has conjured up the latest episode of health drama, most of it b.s. and that's how i found the forum today. looked into dialectical behavior therapy for techniques with dealing with her without pouring gas on the flame. i am T I R E D. i hope there's some structure to my meanderings. thanks for listening and i wish everyone here blissful uneventfulness. Amy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 14, 2011 Report Share Posted September 14, 2011 Hi Amy, You sound a lot like me, I'm 47 and finally able to see the dysfunctional patterns in my family and am ready to understand how they have affected me and my choices in life. And I am so very tired of it all. Welcome! > > hi everybody, I am new to this forum but am 46 years old, a lifelong daughter of a bd mother. over 20 years in therapy, my life is finally together a little. i have a loving husband and puppy that is the furthest expectation given to me as a child. i have learned a couple boundary maintaining skills but am finding myself ~perhaps~ in a place where i can finally grieve my lost childhood. about a month ago i spent the day with my mother/aunt/grandmother for the first time in years, and realized how completely self-absorbed and in need of attention they all are. something deep got stirred up because i had been self-medicating since the event. told my therapist about my drinking last week, and have made the bold attempt to face what i've been avoiding with her encouragement. nightmares of neglect and loss if i even manage to get some sleep. > > oddly enough, during this time, my in-laws were in town and spending two weeks with us. they went home on monday, and i have been walking around trying not to burst into tears since. mum insisted on getting me an indulgently beautiful potted plant despite my famous black thumb, and somehow that gesture is really getting to me. therapy is tomorrow. my hubs already knows i'm sad and missing his parents and even commented that i have a real mom and dad now, but here it looks like i am in good company to share what is going on unedited and wonder if anyone can offer their own perspectives. > > meanwhile my mother, not happy with how busy and " unavailable " i have been, has conjured up the latest episode of health drama, most of it b.s. and that's how i found the forum today. looked into dialectical behavior therapy for techniques with dealing with her without pouring gas on the flame. i am T I R E D. > > i hope there's some structure to my meanderings. thanks for listening and i wish everyone here blissful uneventfulness. > > Amy > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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