Introducing myself with a long vent.

[Guest guest]

Hi all, just introducing myself...

I'm 32-almost 33.

Diagnosed with LS about a year ago, but had it for awhile before that.

I also feel I have vestibulitis.

Vest. started while I was dating my husband and I blamed him for his

lack of interest in foreplay. I feel bad for that now, but he still

hates foreplay. I describe it as a gritty sandpaper burn just at the

opening of the vagina.

Anyway, we have been married 4 years tomorrow, and have only had sex a

handful of times each year. It always results in a gaping wound just

inside the vaginal opening, and the " webbed " skin at the bottom of the

vag. opening is always torn. At a Dr appt, the nurse was shocked at

the bruising and atrophy.

We had 2 children 15 months apart, both c-sections, (first one

emergency). The first was conceived during the 2nd month of marriage

as newlyweds, but still painful. The 2nd was conceived by planning my

exact ovulation dates and it took a couple months to conceive. Now I

am grateful I didn't have vaginal births as i don't know what this

mess would have looked like or felt like during and after that. I

hear it's possible, though.

I'm beyond frustrated. It's been 3 months since our last intercourse,

our anniversary is tomorrow, and I know NOTHING is going to happen.

It doesn't help that my husband is not proactive about sex in any way

shape or form. He is a good partner, and I know he is faithful and

supportive, but I am also losing my mind about the total absence of

sex in my life. He's always afraid of causing me pain, and there have

been many times when I asked him for sex and gritted my teeth in pain

the whole time just so I could be close to my husband. He's not open

to any physical intimacy if actual intercourse is not on the menu.

For example, I can't even remember the last time we had sex and kissed

at the same time. This is something we will have to see a therapist

about, but it's still a big part of living with LS and Vestibulitis.

His large size is also a factor, because after a few months with no

sex, my vaginal muscles tighten up so that it seems impossible for

penetration. Sex is a daunting task for both of us, only he gives up,

and I am ready to.

I have clobetasol and Estrace, but I am going to call and ask about T

cream as well. I get frustrated because the clob. fixes the itching

and seems to clear up the white skin temporarily, but I just don't see

a lot of repair going on with the tissue returning to pink and

elastic. And I feel like, all this work to fix it just so it won't

get put to use anyway??? Only, we want a 3rd child, at least I always

know the due date without question.

What else? Several years ago I did apply an acid for HPV--only to find

out I did NOT have HPV. And I have had a flare up of some sort of

STD, I think it was herpes, but I did not have it diagnosed. I also

have problems with cystitis in the bladder, if I drink too much coffee

or pepsi, I get really dark urine.

So that's my case in a nutshell. My immediate plan is to start over

with a routine of clob and estrace and ask for T cream, and find a

marriage counselor.

Thanks for listening. Getting this off my chest has helped.

Jammie

[Guest guest]

Jammie- I actually ended things with a boyfriend for the same reasons. I'm glad that I didn't end up marrying him from what it sounds like!! He had no interest in foreplay or any "nonsexual" touching like caressing, massage, etc. and I was open and talked to him about how me as a woman needs foreplay, etc, etc, but he didn't like all that so I realized he's not the partner for me. I realize that with a marriage and children you don't have that option. that's why I'm glad I realized it sooner than later. I may be 31 and single but with having VV I'm going to need an exceptionally understanding and affectionate partner. I don't know if and when your husband will come around but hopefully sooner than later!jammiekern wrote: Hi all, just introducing myself...I'm 32-almost 33. Diagnosed with LS about a year ago, but had it for awhile before that.I also feel I have vestibulitis.Vest. started while I was dating my husband and I blamed him for hislack of interest in foreplay. I feel bad for that now, but he stillhates foreplay. I describe it as a gritty sandpaper burn just at theopening of the vagina.Anyway, we have been married 4 years tomorrow, and have only had sex ahandful of times each year. It always results in a gaping wound justinside the vaginal opening, and the "webbed" skin at the bottom of thevag. opening is always torn. At

a Dr appt, the nurse was shocked atthe bruising and atrophy. We had 2 children 15 months apart, both c-sections, (first oneemergency). The first was conceived during the 2nd month of marriageas newlyweds, but still painful. The 2nd was conceived by planning myexact ovulation dates and it took a couple months to conceive. Now Iam grateful I didn't have vaginal births as i don't know what thismess would have looked like or felt like during and after that. Ihear it's possible, though.I'm beyond frustrated. It's been 3 months since our last intercourse,our anniversary is tomorrow, and I know NOTHING is going to happen. It doesn't help that my husband is not proactive about sex in any wayshape or form. He is a good partner, and I know he is faithful andsupportive, but I am also losing my mind about the total absence ofsex in my life. He's always afraid of causing me pain, and there havebeen many times when I asked

him for sex and gritted my teeth in painthe whole time just so I could be close to my husband. He's not opento any physical intimacy if actual intercourse is not on the menu. For example, I can't even remember the last time we had sex and kissedat the same time. This is something we will have to see a therapistabout, but it's still a big part of living with LS and Vestibulitis. His large size is also a factor, because after a few months with nosex, my vaginal muscles tighten up so that it seems impossible forpenetration. Sex is a daunting task for both of us, only he gives up,and I am ready to.I have clobetasol and Estrace, but I am going to call and ask about Tcream as well. I get frustrated because the clob. fixes the itchingand seems to clear up the white skin temporarily, but I just don't seea lot of repair going on with the tissue returning to pink andelastic. And I feel like, all this work to fix it just so

it won'tget put to use anyway??? Only, we want a 3rd child, at least I alwaysknow the due date without question.What else? Several years ago I did apply an acid for HPV--only to findout I did NOT have HPV. And I have had a flare up of some sort ofSTD, I think it was herpes, but I did not have it diagnosed. I alsohave problems with cystitis in the bladder, if I drink too much coffeeor pepsi, I get really dark urine.So that's my case in a nutshell. My immediate plan is to start overwith a routine of clob and estrace and ask for T cream, and find amarriage counselor. Thanks for listening. Getting this off my chest has helped.Jammie

[Guest guest]

Jammie,

I strongly believe seeing a good sex therapist could help. Also, my

hubby read a lot about LP and vestibulitis and listened to what my

doctor said, which helped him understand that it wasn't his fault.

Also, sounds like you would benefit a lot from PT - this, along with

diet change and estrace, is what helped me the most. I went weekly for

9 months and now still go 1-2x month. The PT even taught my husband how

to do many of the things at home - feeling like he could help me made a

huge difference in our marriage. Just some thoughts.

Melinda