Re: Re: I google my dad now and then

[Guest guest]

Same here. Despite the fact that my dad is, well, BPD/NPD, I actually

enjoyed homeschooling. I know several great homeschooling families whose

kids are probably gifted, and they do wonderfully. My husband homeschooled

too--accredited distance program because he started highschool at 9, having

progressed quickly through public school. I also know many other

homeschooling families whose fathers or mothers are worse than my dad. So,

yes, it's a double-edged sword.

And yes, you've perceived correctly, Annie, and that's why I'm sad for my

siblings.I've done all I can--I, DH, and a family friend (who recently got

disowned) have all called CPS that I know of. According to my dad's blog,

and judging from what the family friend said, my dad decided to cut out all

extraneous activities and focus on schooling and family. That scares me,

because it sounds even more like a prison now.

On the bright side, Sister #1 is in 8th grade now, so it won't be too long

before she starts going to community college, and hopefully meet some people

there.

A friend suggested that I should put my writings into a book and dedicate it

to my siblings so that if they ever go to the library and stumble across it,

they can see that I've escaped and maybe they'll get courage to contact me

via a PO box. That sounds like fantasy thinking, but it's a nice thought.

Hope is really what we all have

On Thu, Sep 15, 2011 at 1:53 PM, anuria67854 wrote:

> **

>

>

> I can see the validity of both sides of the home schooling issue. I know

> several sane, rational, mentally healthy couples personally who home-school

> their kids and the kids are very well educated in many areas including music

> and sports, are sociable, friendly and doing just fine.

>

> On the other hand its too easy now for those who are mentally ill but

> charismatic and high-functioning to literally isolate their children from

> normal contact with other kids and families due to the relaxation of laws

> allowing home-schooling. Its a two-edged sword, just like most other things,

> and can be used for good or for evil.

>

> Your father sounds like he's leaning into the toxic, uber-controlling,

> cult-like end of the spectrum and your siblings sound more like prisoners

> than anything else.

>

> I wish there was something you could do for your sibs, but if they're being

> isolated and not being physically abused, there really isn't anything you

> can do legally. How frustrating that must be for you.

>

> -Annie

>

>

>

> > >

> > > > **

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > I do Google searches now and then for my fada, to see what kind of

> books

> > > > he's coming out with (so I know whether I should read it to see what

> he

> > > says

> > > > about me). He had a couple of websites that went defunct--but this is

> the

> > > > first time I found an active website of his, last night.

> > > >

> > > > He's a professor, and among other things, teaches ethics and

> leadership.

> > > > *rolls eyes.* and this website, which looks like it was made in 1995,

> is

> > > all

> > > > about that and homeschooling and raising teens to be leaders. I find

> it

> > > > terribly ironic, coming from him. He's working on a book about how

> guys

> > > can

> > > > be leaders of the family, not to exclude women he's planning on a

> book

> > > for

> > > > them later on. I can't wait to read what he has to say on the topic

> > > > *sarcastic.* Especially since he gave my mom that " How to change your

> > > > Husband " book.

> > > >

> > > > In the " About Him " section, he talks about how he was the father of 6

> > > kids,

> > > > now two have moved out and four still at home. I find it a little bit

> > > > confusing...he's still is the father of 6 kids legally speaking, not

> > > " was. "

> > > > And he talks about Bro#1 and me in such generic terms " successful in

> our

> > > > careers. " WTF. He's still pretending he's in touch with me when he's

> > > writing

> > > > about us. After all, it would look extremely bad if people found out

> he

> > > > disowned me. I think that's why he tried hard to get me to go back to

> him

> > > by

> > > > sending flying monkeys, but I'm too stubborn and am staying NC. No

> wonder

> > > he

> > > > tried to friend me on LinkedIn.

> > > >

> > > > So yeah, have fun teaching about family leadership when your idea of

> > > > " leading " is controlling every moment of their lives.

> > > >

> > > > Also, I found out, elsewhere online, that he talked a tiny bit about

> his

> > > > dad while growing up. He said his dad's idea of punishment was very

> LOUD

> > > > yelling, pounding on furniture, and then a LONG period of emotional

> > > > isolation, and fada talked about it as if it was a natural and

> perfectly

> > > > acceptable difference in family leadership from his mom who sounds

> like

> > > she

> > > > never raised her voice.

> > > >

> > > > Seriously? If fada's writing is to be trusted, then I can totally see

> why

> > > > fada is the way he is. Doesn't excuse it--people have to choose to

> > > overcome

> > > > their past and he never did--but it does explain somewhat.

> > > >

> > > > It's just kind of funny to see how he skirts around family issues in

> > > trying

> > > > hard to present a good face to the public. I suppose I should feel

> > > > conflicted like " oh, I was overreacting, he was always normal " but I

> know

> > > > better. I know what's hidden between the lines, what he's not talking

> > > about.

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > Try as I might, though, I can't seem to find pictures of the little

> ones

> > > to

> > > > see how they're looking now. The last pictures I have of them are a

> > > couple

> > > > years old, given to me by a family friend who was disowned earlier

> this

> > > > year.

> > > >

> > > > Fada's just trying SO hard to look decent to the public.

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >