re discipline question

[Guest guest]

"But in order to help your son control his behaviors now you might want to create a "safe" room in your house where there is very little in there that he can hurt himself with or destroy. Buy a lock for the door for the outside of the room so you can make sure you stay safe. When he his aggressive behavior begins put him in his safe room and leave him there for the period of time it takes to calm him down. When you go back in the room when he's calmed down have some form of punishment..."

YIKES!!! There is no "safe room" in a home where the parent can not see what the child is doing during a tantrum. Our children are prone to seizures and self injurous behavior choaking etc.. I have heard there was a child lost while in isolation at a center and I could not live with myself if something happened to my child. I would lay Miki on the floor stride on her thighs and hold her hands down and a pillow under her head until she stopped aggressing to me. Did I get hurt, yup, but I shudder to think of what my child can do to her self without me right there to stop her when she is in that mood. Miki weighs 105 and is strong like ox so I did have to put her in a residential behavior intense facility where they are trained to deal with this and she is safe. I still get reports almost weekly re mechanical retraints.

Also...punishing my daughter gives attention, which is exactly what she wants most of the time so it feeds into the bad behavior. I learned to give tons of praise when she was being good and to avert my eyes and block when she aggressed. This stuff is wicked difficult and I wish I could give you all of the cyber hugs and support you need, hang in there and treat yourself kindly.

Jayne

[Guest guest]

I highly recommend you consult with a behavior analyst who will do a functional behavior assessment to determing what is triggering your child's behavior and what to do to prevent it. It is NOT true that there is most often a medical reason for problem behaviors-sometimes it is. ALL of the valid research has proven that ONLY a good functional behavior assessment can determine what is causing the behaviors and what intervention will help.

Feel free to contact me directly if you have any questions.

Nila

mamanila@... "Determine that the thing can and shall be done, and then we shall find the way." -Abraham Lincoln

To: deniseslist From: jadziab@...Date: Fri, 17 Jun 2011 14:12:17 -0700Subject: re discipline question

"But in order to help your son control his behaviors now you might want to create a "safe" room in your house where there is very little in there that he can hurt himself with or destroy. Buy a lock for the door for the outside of the room so you can make sure you stay safe. When he his aggressive behavior begins put him in his safe room and leave him there for the period of time it takes to calm him down. When you go back in the room when he's calmed down have some form of punishment..."

YIKES!!! There is no "safe room" in a home where the parent can not see what the child is doing during a tantrum. Our children are prone to seizures and self injurous behavior choaking etc.. I have heard there was a child lost while in isolation at a center and I could not live with myself if something happened to my child. I would lay Miki on the floor stride on her thighs and hold her hands down and a pillow under her head until she stopped aggressing to me. Did I get hurt, yup, but I shudder to think of what my child can do to her self without me right there to stop her when she is in that mood. Miki weighs 105 and is strong like ox so I did have to put her in a residential behavior intense facility where they are trained to deal with this and she is safe. I still get reports almost weekly re mechanical retraints.

Also...punishing my daughter gives attention, which is exactly what she wants most of the time so it feeds into the bad behavior. I learned to give tons of praise when she was being good and to avert my eyes and block when she aggressed. This stuff is wicked difficult and I wish I could give you all of the cyber hugs and support you need, hang in there and treat yourself kindly.

Jayne

[Guest guest]

WOW! This sounds like a seclusion room which is what we fight to keep kids in school out of. It has been proven that seclusion does not help aggressive or inappropriate behavior in ANY way and can make it worse. Please note it is NOT legal or safe to lock a child in any room in the home and CPS can and will remove children for it. Hitting a child teaches the child it is ok to hit. The best option is to speak with a BCBA and medical doctor regarding the problems. If you qualify for medicaid waiver or waitlist and the behaviors are a true danger and severe enough, you may qualify for a crisis tool.

 

  " But in order to help your son control his behaviors now you might want to create a " safe " room in your house where there is very little in there that he can hurt himself with or destroy. Buy a lock for the door for the outside of the room so you can make sure you stay safe. When he his aggressive behavior begins put him in his safe room and leave him there for the period of time it takes to calm him down. When you go back in the room when he's calmed down have some form of punishment... "

_,___

[Guest guest]

Jayne,

I agree that not being able to see the child might be a bad idea, but this might

be solved by putting a shatterproof window in the door, or one of the viewers

that we have to look out at people who come to our front door (have it look from

the outside into the room.) I recall when my son was small (he is now 6' 2 " )

wrappping him tightly in a blanket and straddling him on the floor or bed until

he calmed down. I think you are right that this is a good technique when our

kids are small. As to being as strong as an ox, I agree. With the aggression

comes " adrenalin strength " and it is difficult to handle. I have read your posts

about Miki and know how much you struggled with the decision to put her in a

residential facility. My prayers are with you.

I recently had my son read the book " When My Anger Gets Too Big " , when he

finished, he came to me and said, Sorry mom. When my anger gets too big, it's

really hard to make it small again. I watch him struggle sometimes to control

the anger and I try to help him, but sometimes there is nothing you can do to

stop it, it just explodes.

Glenda

>

> � " But in order to help your son control his behaviors now you might want to

create a " safe " room in your house where there is very little in there that he

can hurt himself with or destroy. Buy a lock for the door for the outside of the

room so you can make sure you stay safe. When he his aggressive behavior begins

put him in his safe room and leave him there for the period of time it takes to

calm him down. When you go back in the room when he's calmed down have some form

of punishment... "

> �

> YIKES!!!� There is no " safe room " in a home where the parent can not see

what the child is doing during a tantrum.� Our children are prone to seizures

and self injurous behavior choaking etc..� I have heard there was a child lost

while in isolation at a center and I could not live with myself if something

happened to my child.� I would� lay Miki on the floor stride on�her thighs

and hold her hands down and a pillow under her head until she stopped aggressing

to me.� Did I get hurt, yup, but I shudder to think of what my child can do to

her self without me right there to stop her when she is in that mood.� Miki

weighs 105 and is strong like ox so I did have to put her in a residential

behavior intense facility where they are trained to deal with this and she is

safe.� I still get reports almost weekly re mechanical retraints.�

> �

> Also...punishing my daughter gives attention, which is exactly what she wants

most of the time so it feeds into the bad behavior.� I learned to give tons of

praise when she was being good and to avert my eyes and block when she

aggressed.� This stuff is wicked difficult and I wish I could give you all of

the cyber hugs and support you need, hang in there and treat yourself kindly.

> �

> Jayne

>

[Guest guest]

This is WAY out of proportion...first of all it's not seclusion...it's a five minute "calm down your child" approach. And secondly if you read what punishment is...counting to whatever - say one hundred to give the child a chance to calm down, or writing lines or visually looking at pictures of a sad happy face to know he or she has done wrong. If you have an older child whose behaviors are so aggressive that they MAY hurt someone in the family, this is a safe way to calm them down. That's why it's a SAFE room. A seclusion room would be a place you leave a child in punishment for long periods of time. There was NO MENTION OF THIS.

If your child is controllable physically then there would be no need for this kind of approach; but if you have a hormone raging child who gets like iron man this would be a safe way. The idea is to calm them down...not leave them in there unsupervised for long periods of time. Calming down means five to ten minutes or maybe less. It is easy for parents who are NOT dealing with high hormones and dangerous behavioral aggression to think that this is something outrageous. As one parent mentioned...she had to put her child in an institution. This becomes the only option unless other interventions are implemented. However, once again, a biomedical approach would be a beneficial avenue to take to help with these type of behaviors as well as having some sort of safe room in your house. To reiterate.....this might not be needed for many children...only in the very difficult cases.

WOW! This sounds like a seclusion room which is what we fight to keep kids in school out of. It has been proven that seclusion does not help aggressive or inappropriate behavior in ANY way and can make it worse. Please note it is NOT legal or safe to lock a child in any room in the home and CPS can and will remove children for it. Hitting a child teaches the child it is ok to hit. The best option is to speak with a BCBA and medical doctor regarding the problems. If you qualify for medicaid waiver or waitlist and the behaviors are a true danger and severe enough, you may qualify for a crisis tool.

"But in order to help your son control his behaviors now you might want to create a "safe" room in your house where there is very little in there that he can hurt himself with or destroy. Buy a lock for the door for the outside of the room so you can make sure you stay safe. When he his aggressive behavior begins put him in his safe room and leave him there for the period of time it takes to calm him down. When you go back in the room when he's calmed down have some form of punishment..."

_,___

[Guest guest]

May I ask which residential behavior intense facility? My son is headed in that direction, and I am gathering info about which one to choose.

[Guest guest]

Carlton Palms in Mt Dora is often recommended. "Determine that the thing can and shall be done, and then we shall find the way." -Abraham Lincoln

To: sList From: 2monsterz@...Date: Sat, 18 Jun 2011 10:33:01 -0400Subject: Re: re discipline question

May I ask which residential behavior intense facility? My son is headed in that direction, and I am gathering info about which one to choose.

[Guest guest]

I agree that a "safe room" is not an ideal situation but it is something i would do if I had to. I think your suggestions are smart, organized, and helpful to many. In my experience I have found that a multi-facetted approach to behavior modification is the best way. The things we needed were biomedical interventions, a good ABA program (what he was getting at school was not enough), and an exercise outlet such as swimming, gymnastics, karate, running, etc. Just using one of these approaches is not enough. For example, ABA therapy has been great for my son, but would not be as effective if it were not for our biomedical interventions such as diet, supplements, chelation, the whole shebang. Additionally, it was not until we added HBOT

therapy that my son truly became calm, focused, and more cognitive of the things he was learning in school, therapy, and at home. It takes years and you have to keep pushing forward regardless of how exhausting emotionally, physically, and economically the process becomes. Biomedical was a MUST for our son and we have made great strides in his functioning using Dr. Rossignol in Melbourne. I have heard mixed reviews of Dr. Berger, but which ever biomedical practitioner

you choose, the important thing is to stick to it. Some times changes happen quickly, sometimes they take years, but if you are starting and stopping protocols you may never truly know what works and what doesn't. I hate the GFCF diet, but we stick to it because he is making progress. The GFCF

diet may have nothing to do with it, but I am not willing to take a chance. I can think of a million things I would rather be doing then laying in a HBOT chamber for an hour a day six days a week, but we keep climbing back in every day because

he is making progress. I have sold my home and moved in with my parents so I can afford my son's ABA therapy because the insurance companies are criminals and pay for very little, but I make the sacrifices I have had to because that is what it takes. I am not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV, but I have been at this long enough to see amazing changes in my son, and none of those changes would have been

possible if we had removed the biomedical, ABA, HBOT, or physical exercise protocols we are using. Every kid is different, but they are not that different.

Re: re discipline question

This is WAY out of proportion...first of all it's not seclusion...it's a five minute "calm down your child" approach. And secondly if you read what punishment is...counting to whatever - say one hundred to give the child a chance to calm down, or writing lines or visually looking at pictures of a sad happy face to know he or she has done wrong. If you have an older child whose behaviors are so aggressive that they MAY hurt someone in the family, this is a safe way to calm them down. That's why it's a SAFE room. A seclusion room would be a place you leave a child in punishment for long periods of time. There was NO MENTION OF THIS.

If your child is controllable physically then there would be no need for this kind of approach; but if you have a hormone raging child who gets like iron man this would be a safe way. The idea is to calm them down...not leave them in there unsupervised for long periods of time. Calming down means five to ten minutes or maybe less. It is easy for parents who are NOT dealing with high hormones and dangerous behavioral aggression to think that this is something outrageous. As one parent mentioned...she had to put her child in an institution. This becomes the only option unless other interventions are implemented. However, once again, a biomedical approach would be a beneficial avenue to take to help with these type of behaviors as well as having some sort of safe room in your house. To reiterate.....this might not be needed for many children...only in the very difficult cases.

WOW! This sounds like a seclusion room which is what we fight to keep kids in school out of. It has been proven that seclusion does not help aggressive or inappropriate behavior in ANY way and can make it worse. Please note it is NOT legal or safe to lock a child in any room in the home and CPS can and will remove children for it. Hitting a child teaches the child it is ok to hit. The best option is to speak with a BCBA and medical doctor regarding the problems. If you qualify for medicaid waiver or waitlist and the behaviors are a true danger and severe enough, you may qualify for a crisis tool.

"But in order to help your son control his behaviors now you might want to create a "safe" room in your house where there is very little in there that he can hurt himself with or destroy. Buy a lock for the door for the outside of the room so you can make sure you stay safe. When he his aggressive behavior begins put him in his safe room and leave him there for the period of time it takes to calm him down. When you go back in the room when he's calmed down have some form of punishment..."

_,___

[Guest guest]

She is at Carlton Palms, and yes! I would recommend it. She loves it there and

seems happy.

>

>

>

> Carlton Palms in Mt Dora is often recommended.

>

>

> " Determine that the thing can and shall be done, and then we shall find the

way. "

>

-Abraham Lincoln

>

>

>

>

>

> To: sList

> From: 2monsterz@...

> Date: Sat, 18 Jun 2011 10:33:01 -0400

> Subject: Re: re discipline question

>

>

>

>

>

>

> May I ask which residential behavior intense facility? My son is headed in

that direction, and I am gathering info about which one to choose.

>

[Guest guest]

It is recommended that my son be staffed into SUNSET SCHOOL in Ft. Lauderdale if

residential is not an option (no medicaid or medwaiver right now). He is

entering 5th grade this year in the EB cluster which has gone from 4 kids up to

14 kids due to the closing of the other EB cluster at the school, budget cuts.

His teacher has made it clear that he cannot handle more than 4 kids in the

classroom and next school year will be a big problem. It is a big problem at

home, harming himself and others. My son is 5'1 and 108 lbs, and very strong

when he rages. I feel your pain about the behavior, and remember putting my son

in a pressure hug too, or a blanket when he was little. Doesn't work like that

anymore. I don't know about your child, but my son is an immovable object when

he is raging and he simply won't go into his room, safe or otherwise. He gets

way past listening to reason and/or re-direction, consequences, etc.

Does anyone have any experience/opinions comments about SUNSET? The teacher gave

me one of those " I wouldn't put him there " looks...Is Sunset the only option for

the Ft. Lauderdale AREA, or are there other school choices like Sunset if I can

move to another AREA in the county?

[Guest guest]

No Medicaid or MedWaiver? I was able to get Miki Medwaiver through a crisis,

but that was in 2006 and things are probably different now. I went to look at

the Sunset school and considered it an option for Miki. The ONLY thing that

upset me was when the ESE there told me she had a difficult time getting

parents to come to meetings. I'm not sure that is a reflection of the school

but maybe of the situation. I felt Miki would fit in but wanted to try another

cluster. (This was after she was running around naked in the school yard) I got

her into Mirror Lake in the cluster and I swear by that school. Ms

taught Miki how to read and Ms the Autism Coach is WONDERFUL. The Director

of Carlton Palms told me how lucky I was to have Miki there when they came down

to observe her. It's just that I'm single and she got too big for me to handle

at home. I had behavior assistance but it still got bad. Miki put her head

through her bedroom window last July 2, and that was with 2 behavior people

standing there. I've also heard pretty good things about Quest and there is

another Center up in Pompano that some of the ARC Mommies liked. ( cant't

remember name of it).

Hugs to all....miss surfin' Miki LOVED that...

Jayne

>

> It is recommended that my son be staffed into SUNSET SCHOOL in Ft. Lauderdale

if residential is not an option (no medicaid or medwaiver right now). He is

entering 5th grade this year in the EB cluster which has gone from 4 kids up to

14 kids due to the closing of the other EB cluster at the school, budget cuts.

His teacher has made it clear that he cannot handle more than 4 kids in the

classroom and next school year will be a big problem. It is a big problem at

home, harming himself and others. My son is 5'1 and 108 lbs, and very strong

when he rages. I feel your pain about the behavior, and remember putting my son

in a pressure hug too, or a blanket when he was little. Doesn't work like that

anymore. I don't know about your child, but my son is an immovable object when

he is raging and he simply won't go into his room, safe or otherwise. He gets

way past listening to reason and/or re-direction, consequences, etc.

>

> Does anyone have any experience/opinions comments about SUNSET? The teacher

gave me one of those " I wouldn't put him there " looks...Is Sunset the only

option for the Ft. Lauderdale AREA, or are there other school choices like

Sunset if I can move to another AREA in the county?

>

[Guest guest]

Sunset School is one of 5 schools in Brwd County that have time out rooms and special trained behaviorists that will perform "mat" or prone positioning of the child in a "safe" manner to protect the child and/or staff. Make sure you ask about their behavior rooms and therapists.To: sList Sent: Monday, June 20, 2011 11:23 AMSubject: Re: re discipline question

No Medicaid or MedWaiver? I was able to get Miki Medwaiver through a crisis, but that was in 2006 and things are probably different now. I went to look at the Sunset school and considered it an option for Miki. The ONLY thing that upset me was when the ESE there told me she had a difficult time getting parents to come to meetings. I'm not sure that is a reflection of the school but maybe of the situation. I felt Miki would fit in but wanted to try another cluster. (This was after she was running around naked in the school yard) I got her into Mirror Lake in the cluster and I swear by that school. Ms taught Miki how to read and Ms the Autism Coach is WONDERFUL. The Director of Carlton Palms told me how lucky I was to have Miki there when they came down to observe her. It's just that I'm single and she got too big for me to handle at home. I had behavior assistance but it still got bad. Miki put her head through her

bedroom window last July 2, and that was with 2 behavior people standing there. I've also heard pretty good things about Quest and there is another Center up in Pompano that some of the ARC Mommies liked. ( cant't remember name of it).

Hugs to all....miss surfin' Miki LOVED that...

Jayne

>

> It is recommended that my son be staffed into SUNSET SCHOOL in Ft. Lauderdale if residential is not an option (no medicaid or medwaiver right now). He is entering 5th grade this year in the EB cluster which has gone from 4 kids up to 14 kids due to the closing of the other EB cluster at the school, budget cuts. His teacher has made it clear that he cannot handle more than 4 kids in the classroom and next school year will be a big problem. It is a big problem at home, harming himself and others. My son is 5'1 and 108 lbs, and very strong when he rages. I feel your pain about the behavior, and remember putting my son in a pressure hug too, or a blanket when he was little. Doesn't work like that anymore. I don't know about your child, but my son is an immovable object when he is raging and he simply won't go into his room, safe or otherwise. He gets way past listening to reason and/or re-direction, consequences, etc.

>

> Does anyone have any experience/opinions comments about SUNSET? The teacher gave me one of those "I wouldn't put him there" looks...Is Sunset the only option for the Ft. Lauderdale AREA, or are there other school choices like Sunset if I can move to another AREA in the county?

>