Update from How do I tell my PT...

[Guest guest]

So, I promised an update and completely forgot to post it! To recap,

my PT was being unbelievably pessimistic about the possibility that

I'd ever bellydance again, and was making me feel guilty for not being

able to have sex with my fiance.

So, I made some copies of the bellydance shows I performed before my

hips got so bad I couldn't do it anymore and gave them to her, telling

her point-blank that it's impossible for me to keep coming here if I

can't have her agree that one of our goals is to get me dancing again,

and that while I realize that I might never be able to do it again

like I used to, I need to believe there might be a possibility. And

to my total surprise, she agreed! She said it'd been weighing on her

mind lately, probably because I get teary when she tells me I'll never

be able to do it again, lol. And then we talked about the dilators,

and how they hurt and they make me so anxious and I just hate them,

and she decided that I should order a real set of dilators (I'd been

using the syringes before, which were fine, but i dunno, not worth it

in my situation), and we decided to take it slow. Well, at

first...we're just doing internal work now, which is AWFUL but

necessary, and after working my pelvic floor muscles from the inside

for, no joke, half an hour, she tells me i should use my

biofeedback..um, measuring-probe-thing...as a dilator when i get home.

yeah, that basically didn't happen, haha, but i did use it, and

still, it's this anger I can't wrap my head around. Like, using it

just hurts, and it's uncomfortable (i'm also inserting it all the way,

which might be my problem, but i can't just let it sit inside me and

hang out the rest, b/c that pulls on the spot where it hurts most!)...ugh!

So, things are looking up, at least. We're gonna take it slower, and

she's not gonna pressure me so much with the dilators, and overall, I

feel really good about the experience. It feels great to put my foot

down and be respected as a grown-up. Hopefully, things will start

looking up more and more!

And again, thanks to everyone for being so loving and caring and

thoughtful-your support means the world to me, you really have no idea

Beth

[Guest guest]

HI Beth.. Hon thanks for your report and your follow up... I wondered how things were going with you. Proud of you too for standing up for yourself hon... Way to go! *grin* ...

I'd chat more but just have to get to bed here before the sun is up already. LOLBig hugs sweetie and you hang in there!! Better days are ahead!

Dee

[Guest guest]

My physical therapist told me to use large dilators really fast, like

the small ones were fine but she told me to upgrade to the large ones

in the space of a few weeks, even though I wanted to take it slower.

It didn't work out, and caused more flare-ups. I decided to look for a

different PT who was more " nurturing " .

I have just started with the newer one. She has a lot of experience.

She also seems to be extremely intelligent and observant.

>

> So, I promised an update and completely forgot to post it! To recap,

> my PT was being unbelievably pessimistic about the possibility that