Re: Recovering- Sharing the Positive- Neurofeedback - long

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I'm sorry I hadn't taken the time to answer the questions here- I really do want

to share this with anyone and everyone!! It has been such a positive in my life,

and probably some of the best money I've ever spent. ($1275 in total)

My therapy was LENS, which involves being hooked up to the machine with tiny

sensors on the scalp, grounded on the ears, and having first, very tiny amounts

of electricity feed into the brain. (I know, reminiscent of ECT, kind of scared

me at first, too,) There are 22 points on the head that they use. The computer

reads and records the feedback, and produces a " map " showing what's going on in

the physiologically.

In my case, it showed that I have had 2 brain injuries, i.e. direct trauma to my

head and brain, one long ago and one more recent. I of course don't know for

sure, but I suspect the more recent one was about 3.5 years ago, when I slipped

on a wet tile floor and hit my head on the floor; I had a horrid headache for

days (no bump or bruise on the back of my head where I contacted the floor, but

it must have smacked my brain against the front of my skull; that was very clear

on the images of my brain.) The long ago one was undoubtedly from being

repeatedly bashed in the head by nada. It was on the left side of my head, where

she always hit me (she's right handed, that's the side she contacted first.)

My brain map may also showed very clear areas of suppression, and areas of Very

high " excitability " -- this was C-PTSD (complex post traumatic stress disorder).

It had been suggested tom me that I had a form of aspergers, because I was good

at tuning people out and not getting non-verbal cues. What I discovered in the

course of my neurofeedback therapy was that I had actually trained my brain to

react that way. ----- Sound familiar? Isn't that what many Ko's due to survive

the craziness? ----

The therapist I worked with has very extensive, impressive credentials and

experience as a psychotherapist, but I did not do psychotherapy with her. When I

started, we had a half hour session to discuss my concerns, why I was there,

what I hoped to achieve (which I though was some resolution of this " aspergers "

thing). I wrote a list of symptoms that I wanted " fixed. " Then she did my brain

mapping and we looked at it together, and she explaining the highs and lows.

When she read what the affected areas relate to, all of my symptoms were there.

I do think it was important that she has clinical training and experience, so

she knew I needed to grow into the understanding of what it all meant. If she

had told me all of it right off the bat, it would have been overwhelming and

made me livid!

So we agreed on a payment plan, and a schedule. I went ever other day for the

first 3 weeks (fortunately she's 3 blocks from my office) for 20 minute

sessions. She'd hook me up and treat (stimulate) 4-7 sites. All I had to do was

sit quietly and close my eyes when she said to. We quickly discovered that I had

my biggest reactions about 2 hours later, so it was better not to have treatment

during my work day but at the end, not that it impacted my ability to do my

work, but that I got more from my therapy if I could just relax and let my brain

work on healing itself. which it has done, so beautifully!!

Now I have a choice to tune out or not, and whether or not I react; I'm not

totally stuck in fight or flight responses anymore. And now I have much better

interactions with other people, a lot more energy, and sleep so much better!

The biggest down side is that I have very few areas of ambiguity, or denial, in

my consciousness any more. As I've bumped up against things, I've sorted it.

I've gone through an emotional " housecleaning. " I see things so clearly that it

is sometimes a little frightening. Several people in my life are being held

accountable by me for the very first time. But I'm able to deal with it- I have

full use of my brain!

The website describing the therapy is http://www.ochslabs.com/

I highly recommend it!

Chris

> >

> > I'm writing this evening to share something I've done that has helped me

tremendously.

> >

> > My mother seems to be half BPD and half NPD, and my father, who died this

past May, was Definitely NPD. Long story short, I grew up as the oldest of 4

kids, with an incredible amount of every abuse imaginable.

> >

> > I was NC with nada for 11 years- it just kind of evolved. She was nasty to

my then 5 yr old daughter when we visited. I was livid; it's one thing to treat

Me badly, but to treat my Child badly- WHOA!!!! When I got home I decided not to

call her, just to see how long it would be before she called me. 11 years later

it was my then 17 yr old daughter who reestablished LC. That was 17 years ago. I

can count on my fingers the times I'm visited or talked on the phone to nada in

those 17 years.

> >

> > Around the time my father died, I became aware that there are names for

these disorders, joined this group, and got back into therapy. Part of the

therapy has been a form of neurofeedback called LENS. I had 24 sessions over 4

months, and I am so happy to report that my (complex) PTSD has been resolved!!

> >

> > I'm sleeping at night, no more nightmares (waking up screaming because

someone is chasing me, or I have been locked in a small room with no way out),

I'm not overreacting to anything/everything, I have energy to live my life, I

can see alternative solutions to life's challenges - I have the ability to

remember a situation from my childhood and see it in real terms, mostly, " that

was crazy and abusive! "

> >

> > Such liberation!

> > I wonder if others could/would experience the same kinds of results?

> >

>