Nada and her bizzare behaviour!

[Guest guest]

Hi There, I was wondering if anyone here has had this kind of an experience with

their Nada. I'm a bit confused because the Nada I'm dealing with acts normal for

quite a while and all of a sudden she acts up. After a long time I finally have

found her triggers: - If I look better than her or converse with others better

than her, she feels so nervous, right away she tries to catch up. She talks to

the person I've been talking to him/her right away. She demands attention from

them !! I noticed that she even repeats some of my questions !!??? It's just so

strange to me that some parents would compete with their child so much... Or,

she tries to make me feel guilty about something so so so stupid that I just

want to say, oh just shut the F*** up and get a life !! honestly !!! I wonder if

they ever suffer from some king of a psychosis mixed with detachment to reality

infused with delusion of seeing some individuals preferably their children as

their competitor or some kind of an evil ?? Bizarre!!!

[Guest guest]

Hi GC,

I have experienced that behavior from my nada: she now has Alzheimer's but that

diagnosis was given only very recently; she's had bpd for my whole life, and

probably since her childhood.

So yes, my nada could behave well for a time, then she would suddenly " turn "

and become negative and hostile.

Like you, I've wondered seriously whether borderline pd is actually some form of

dementia: an actual organic brain deterioration/atrophy/mis-wiring/whatever.

My own personal experience is that my mother's Alzheimer's is little different

from her lifelong borderline pd behaviors, just more extreme and more openly

displayed. She's lost a portion of her executive function in her brain: the

ability to rein in her negative thoughts, feelings and behaviors in public; its

all on display now. The only really new part is that she is now hallucinating,

but she has always had paranoid thoughts and feelings and fixed delusional

ideas.

At this point in time, the medical research/psychiatric community has no

definitive answers to that question, " Is bpd a form of dementia? "

But the term " borderline " pd was coined originally because the disorder was

considered to be on the " border " between neurosis and psychosis: having features

of both. I think that that earlier generation of psychiatrists and medical

researchers were right on target, myself.

-Annie

>

> Hi There, I was wondering if anyone here has had this kind of an experience

with their Nada. I'm a bit confused because the Nada I'm dealing with acts

normal for quite a while and all of a sudden she acts up. After a long time I

finally have found her triggers: - If I look better than her or converse with

others better than her, she feels so nervous, right away she tries to catch up.

She talks to the person I've been talking to him/her right away. She demands

attention from them !! I noticed that she even repeats some of my questions

!!??? It's just so strange to me that some parents would compete with their

child so much... Or, she tries to make me feel guilty about something so so so

stupid that I just want to say, oh just shut the F*** up and get a life !!

honestly !!! I wonder if they ever suffer from some king of a psychosis mixed

with detachment to reality infused with delusion of seeing some individuals

preferably their children as their competitor or some kind of an evil ??

Bizarre!!!

>

[Guest guest]

My nada is bizarre in simliar ways. When I was in college, if I would call home

but only my dad was in the house at the time, I knew to expect a phone call from

nada basically wanting me to recreate the entire conversation. God forbid I'd

leave something out...sob sob wail, etc. Same if she found out I called my

sister. Basically she wanted to be the clearinghouse for all information

relating to me, because I, according to her, never told her anything. Now we're

NC, so she's finally right!

>

> Hi There, I was wondering if anyone here has had this kind of an experience

with their Nada. I'm a bit confused because the Nada I'm dealing with acts

normal for quite a while and all of a sudden she acts up. After a long time I

finally have found her triggers: - If I look better than her or converse with

others better than her, she feels so nervous, right away she tries to catch up.

She talks to the person I've been talking to him/her right away. She demands

attention from them !! I noticed that she even repeats some of my questions

!!??? It's just so strange to me that some parents would compete with their

child so much... Or, she tries to make me feel guilty about something so so so

stupid that I just want to say, oh just shut the F*** up and get a life !!

honestly !!! I wonder if they ever suffer from some king of a psychosis mixed

with detachment to reality infused with delusion of seeing some individuals

preferably their children as their competitor or some kind of an evil ??

Bizarre!!!

>

[Guest guest]

Yep, I'm afraid that goes with the territory. My nada wore a white mini dress to

my wedding to gather attention for herself. She's spent her whole life flirting

with men (even though she was married several times). Then she would be outraged

if they tried to kiss her or wanted to meet her some place for hanky panky. When

my Dad was dying, she would insist that he was just acting that way so she would

wait on him hand and foot like he was a king. She insisted she was dying and we

had to take her to ER. Nothing wrong of course but she had her time in the sun.

Generally she speaks with such a soft voice people can barely hear her (it fits

with her helpless waif persona). But then there are times she announces in

public that she's had cancer 5 times (she hasn't) then looks around to see if

people are looking at her and listening in. Or how about the time she came out

from getting her mammogram? She lifted her shirt in the waiting office to show

me how bad they smashed her chest. The list goes on.

I'm sorry. If there's any way to avoid reacting to her nonsense, that would be

best. If you respond, get defensive or anything, then she's in control and

loving every minute of it.

>

> Hi There, I was wondering if anyone here has had this kind of an experience

with their Nada. I'm a bit confused because the Nada I'm dealing with acts

normal for quite a while and all of a sudden she acts up. After a long time I

finally have found her triggers: - If I look better than her or converse with

others better than her, she feels so nervous, right away she tries to catch up.

She talks to the person I've been talking to him/her right away. She demands

attention from them !! I noticed that she even repeats some of my questions

!!??? It's just so strange to me that some parents would compete with their

child so much... Or, she tries to make me feel guilty about something so so so

stupid that I just want to say, oh just shut the F*** up and get a life !!

honestly !!! I wonder if they ever suffer from some king of a psychosis mixed

with detachment to reality infused with delusion of seeing some individuals

preferably their children as their competitor or some kind of an evil ??

Bizarre!!!

>

[Guest guest]

NOt so much in my nada, but one of my sisters, who I know is at least NP is that

competative. To the point that she used to try to monopolize talking with any

boyfriends I brought home as a teen. She even went so far as to date one of my

old boyfriends and they even ended up living together for quite a while. I

definately thought that was weird. Fortunately they didn't marry. She has to

outdo everyone, to the point that it is really obvious to me and mine that she

can't help herself. We have gotten so sick of, and used to, the " show " that we

call it the " Show " when we all get together (just amongst ourselves when

we are gearing up or debriefing togehter in private)before or after a FOO event.

If my sister isn't the center of attention it isn't for a lack of trying. My

nada feeds right into it and I now see that they are a lot alike. They seem

quite co-dependent, and even moreso since my father died. I can't let my guard

down at all. I definately can relate to the competition piece and I hate it and

it feels like a loss for me. We can never just be together. She definately

competes with her own teen daughters and my young adult daughter as well. It is

strange and sad and tiring.

>

> Hi There, I was wondering if anyone here has had this kind of an experience

with their Nada. I'm a bit confused because the Nada I'm dealing with acts

normal for quite a while and all of a sudden she acts up. After a long time I

finally have found her triggers: - If I look better than her or converse with

others better than her, she feels so nervous, right away she tries to catch up.

She talks to the person I've been talking to him/her right away. She demands

attention from them !! I noticed that she even repeats some of my questions

!!??? It's just so strange to me that some parents would compete with their

child so much... Or, she tries to make me feel guilty about something so so so

stupid that I just want to say, oh just shut the F*** up and get a life !!

honestly !!! I wonder if they ever suffer from some king of a psychosis mixed

with detachment to reality infused with delusion of seeing some individuals

preferably their children as their competitor or some kind of an evil ??

Bizarre!!!

>

[Guest guest]

-- Wow - this brings up memories. About ten years ago, my nada was due for

exploratory surgery by a cardiologist to examine a strange heartbeat. She lives

in Colorado and I and my youngest brother were living in Alaska at the time. We

did not have the means to travel back, nor knowing her did we believe this was

legit but merely a ploy for attention. Another act in her play, her " show " as

another respondent True to this thread referred to her sister's drama

queen antics. My nada's best friend called my brother and I the day this was

supposed to happen and sand blasted us for not coming. She didn't understand

and we couldn't explain that this was but a deliberate rouse for attention.

What a surprise (not) when the surgery never happened. BPs are masterful drama

queens and kings. ALWAYS a show.

My nada however other than this is not usually forthright about any physical

complaints. Usually she gets very bitter and crass before she has to go to a

doctor, but won't tell you she's going or why and you have to pry it out of her.

I think she enjoys one prying though, because she gets very resentful when one

doesn't. More attention on them when one does pry.

My nada seems to be a wannabe " rescuer. " She smothers my brothers and I

whenever we visit her or her us. It's ridiculous, because she claims and seems

to take great pride that she raised us three to be strong, independent men. She

thinks she's the only one who can pamper us too, and claims s he wants women for

us that will do the same (never mind what we may or may not want). However,

when there are women in our lives, the jealousy is fierce and ugly. Seething

hatred. Needless to say all three of us - in our late 30s and 40s are single or

divorced. Back to being the " rescuer " , any time she sees she can jump in and

try and comfort or whatever, she's there like a bullet and it's TOO much and

insincere because she does it to chalk up points to use against others later.

I had a big blowout that was over due with my nada this summer and called her on

herself and started enacting LC with her and cutting the co-dependency I was

feeding unknowingly. Well, limited communication has resumed. We live in the

same city, but it's been limited to email. Although she showed up to check up

on me last week out of the blue under the guise of wanting to borrow an ironing

board. But then she had the gall to email me the other day and ask why I was

avoiding her, seemingly deliberately? That infuriated me at first, but then

didn't surprise me. I remember growing up how I detested her propensity for

selective memory and distorting history, and incessant deferral of blame. In her

view, she can't process what happened realistically so she either denies or

pretends it didn't happen, but then pushes the blame for the consequences and

hard feelings that result back on to you.

ghostcity231, I thoroughly understand. My nada is the same way. Anymore there

are great lengths of time when things seem normal, status quo. But my gut never

fully trusted this time because it's ALWAYS calm before the storm. My nada

usually complains of great boredom during these periods, that's a sign that

she'll jump at any excuse to create drama. There is no rational to their

behaviour or extent of it. The only constant is the inconsistency and

irrationality of their behaviour and shocking extremes to which they can and do

go. It's a never ending roller coaster ride, and we're often strapped in with

no foreseeable stop.

> >

> > Hi There, I was wondering if anyone here has had this kind of an experience

with their Nada. I'm a bit confused because the Nada I'm dealing with acts

normal for quite a while and all of a sudden she acts up. After a long time I

finally have found her triggers: - If I look better than her or converse with

others better than her, she feels so nervous, right away she tries to catch up.

She talks to the person I've been talking to him/her right away. She demands

attention from them !! I noticed that she even repeats some of my questions

!!??? It's just so strange to me that some parents would compete with their

child so much... Or, she tries to make me feel guilty about something so so so

stupid that I just want to say, oh just shut the F*** up and get a life !!

honestly !!! I wonder if they ever suffer from some king of a psychosis mixed

with detachment to reality infused with delusion of seeing some individuals

preferably their children as their competitor or some kind of an evil ??

Bizarre!!!

> >

>