Problem with BPDs on List Will Happen Again

[Guest guest]

Dear WTOs,

I wanted to point out something that may be an enduring problem for this list if

it's not addressed. As press about BPD becomes more and more prevalent, more

and more actual BPDs will come to be confronted with their disorder. They may

read about it themselves, and need to mask their subconscious perception; they

may be diagnosed; they may have children, friends or relatives 'accuse' them of

having bpd.

A very predictable first reaction will be for them to project the disorder, and

all their main symptoms, onto someone close to them--whether it be a child or a

parent. They will then truly believe in their conscious mind that they are KOs.

And be life-and-death intent on this impression, just as they are life-and-death

intent on masking or hiding any behavior or quality for which they would need to

split themselves black.

Any web-savvy bpds will then find this board. And it will offer a perfect

place, with its 2000 plus members, for the bpd to engage in protypical bpd

behavior, with a captive audience. It will be (as it has recently) very

disruptive and destructive to the board's functioning.

I hope that steps can be taken to comprehend and address this phenomenon, and to

salvage the board as much as possible. I'm sure that this will begin to happen

more and more, as society learns more and more about borderlines, and the list

serve becomes more and more well known.

--Charlie

[Guest guest]

I've been away for a while, but would like to respond to this (even though I

haven't read back to see what preciptated it):

They will then truly believe in their conscious mind that they are KOs.

I think Charlie makes a good point here about splitting and projection. However,

it is also true that a great many people who develop BPD do so because it was

modeled for them by their own parent; in other words, many people with BPD *are

also* KOs. That is why they are often allowed to join boards like this one,

because the support in dealing with a PD'd parent can be so important.

Personally, I don't think it's the diagnosis (or lack thereof) that matters most

here--I think it's behavior and willingness to honor the board Covenant. We

should be aware that all KOs bring their own issues to the boards, and that some

of us might have enough fleas to have qualified for a BPD diagnosis of our own.

As board members, we have a right not to read or engage with people who trigger

us or make us uncomfortable, whether they have BPD or not. The list moderator

can always be contacted in cases of abusive or harassing behavior, or failure to

follow the board guidelines.

Sveta

[Guest guest]

I've been on this board for only a year now, not a lot of time but enough to

read a lot of posters.

I am sure we can and do get active PDs here. Most of them get weeded out when

they get called on their bs (since as a group, I have never run into one that

likes being questioned or criticized). Some flit in and out every few months to

throw down a 'victim bomb' down or some other shrapnel. I think we all have

navigated those quite well.

As has already been said, by being raised by PD's we all are KOs. We all have

FLEAS. It only stands to reason that some of us are in denial about how we fit

into our big PD family picture at home. I hope those KOs find enough of what

they need here to face their demons and get professional help.

But in every day life we run into people who trigger us, or who set off alarm

bells. I think this is important for our learning and growth--it helps us decide

what is just a left over trigger or when someone is truly mental ill.

So no, while self proclaiming PDs are not welcome here (and shouldn't be for our

saftey), I believe the weeding out of those undiagnosed PDs will continue

naturally. We are a strong list and we know our criteria of healthy

list-boundaries here. I trust in US. So please, no one needs to panic. We take

care of each other here.

>

> Dear WTOs,

>

> I wanted to point out something that may be an enduring problem for this list

if it's not addressed. As press about BPD becomes more and more prevalent, more

and more actual BPDs will come to be confronted with their disorder. They may

read about it themselves, and need to mask their subconscious perception; they

may be diagnosed; they may have children, friends or relatives 'accuse' them of

having bpd.

>

> A very predictable first reaction will be for them to project the disorder,

and all their main symptoms, onto someone close to them--whether it be a child

or a parent. They will then truly believe in their conscious mind that they are

KOs. And be life-and-death intent on this impression, just as they are

life-and-death intent on masking or hiding any behavior or quality for which

they would need to split themselves black.

>

> Any web-savvy bpds will then find this board. And it will offer a perfect

place, with its 2000 plus members, for the bpd to engage in protypical bpd

behavior, with a captive audience. It will be (as it has recently) very

disruptive and destructive to the board's functioning.

>

> I hope that steps can be taken to comprehend and address this phenomenon, and

to salvage the board as much as possible. I'm sure that this will begin to

happen more and more, as society learns more and more about borderlines, and the

list serve becomes more and more well known.

>

> --Charlie

>