REB.....Re: Re: ILL SPOUSES TOO :-(

[Guest guest]

Mmm. I know about the adjusting and re-adjusting part, from my less serious joint problems. When I was to have my first knee surgery I actually got my hopes up for a few years of back-to-kind-of-normal, and it was a real blow (silly as I felt about that) having to re-adjust to "Nope. Better than before the surgery, maybe. But I still can't do all those things I used to be able to". It did feel strange and a bit stupid to all of a sudden be down about not being able to do things I had actually not been able to do for 10-15 years or so... I mean, so...what else is new...kind of... Hope is a tricky thing that way...But mostly it's just when looking back I can see that what I take to be "normal" now was not always so. One adjusts and gets used to. Like you say. Like I suppose we have adjusted and got used to 's MS too. love/Reb> >> > Does anyone else have this problem? Both myself and hubby have several chronic illnesses, and I am more disabled then he is so most of the everyday household duties are left up to him, plus he works at a full time job. I do feel bad for him, and having to attend to some of my needs [i try not to ask for too much, and go without a lot], is causing him to be on overload quite a bit. We can't afford to have respite care, insurance doesn't cover it, and family is too far away or too busy with their own lives to help us. > > Anyhow, within the last few years our relationship has deteriorated to the point that we fight all the time. It just keeps getting worse, and he's not the type to accept that anything is that bad that things need to change. But, I'm miserable living like this and suggested maybe I should go to a nursing home, and of course he doesn't think I'm that bad off to need to. I don't want to, but at the same time I have needs that should be done on a regular basis, but I don't want to burden him anymore than it seems that I am. He is having awful memory problems, and forgets to take his medicines, and do things that are important. I worry about him, and don't want to leave him as my memory isn't as bad so I am here to remind him, and I know that we need to be here for each other, but I just can't stand the stress of the arguing all the time. He argues over everything I bring up, and when I try to explain why I feel the way I do, he dismisses it as not viable. > > Anyone else having problems with their spouses like this, and if so what do you do to get along?> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Hugs and Love, Jackie > > May the peace of God be with you...> > the love of Jesus enfold you...> > and the Spirit of Christ fill you.> > > > > > > >>