To introduce myself a little. . .

September 26, 2011

Hello,

I am brand new to this group, I found my way here after reading a short article

in Psychology Today about narcissistic personality disorder. In the comments

section a person who posted about having a narcissistic parent was referred to

the group by the author of the article, I believe her name was Randi. (The

author) I have read some of the posts and am wondering if I belong here, I

don't know much about Borderline Personality Disorder but it seems like it may

be similar to narcissistic personality disorder. I am just now starting to

realize the truth about my abusive childhood and my very manipulative mother. I

am trying to navigate new boundaries in my relationship with her and figure out

how to protect my PRECIOUS daughters from her sickness. (They are 3 and 1.) I

do have a wonderful therapist (who actually suggested to me that my mother was a

narcissist) but I feel like I would like someone to talk to who really

understands because it is hard to explain to my friends the true nature of her

sometimes very subtle cruelty and manipulation. A lot of people really don't

get it. Thank you!

September 27, 2011

Hi ,

Welcome to the Group.

Its not uncommon for those with narcissistic pd to also have traits and

behaviors of borderline pd, and vice-versa. In the book " Understanding The

Borderline Mother " , the author refers to those with both bpd and npd as " Queen "

bpds.

So, maybe read some of the past threads, see if you feel that this Group is a

good match for you and the issues you're having with your npd mother.

My general suggestion is that the more you know about the Cluster B personality

disorders, the better, because knowledge is empowering. Knowing about the

traits and behaviors of the various Cluster B pds can help us to not take the

way our parents treated us quite as personally. It helps us realize that we

were mistreated or abused not because we deserved it, but because our mother

and/or father is actually mentally ill.

Their mistreatment of us had literally nothing to do with us, its all due to

their disordered perceptions and behaviors. Reading the books about personality

disorder, going to therapy, and sharing our experiences in a support Group like

this one really helps us achieve that more emotionally distant perspective, and

helps us shed the misplaced guilt and inappropriate feelings of responsibility

some of us carry. It truly was an eye-opener for me, anyway, to discover that

other people had experienced nearly identical behaviors, mistreatment and abuse

from their parents; that it wasn't just me. It was a sad but healing

comprehension.

My own mother (who is now in her early 80's) has been formally diagnosed with

borderline pd on two different occasions by two different therapists, but I

believe she also has/had many narcissistic pd traits as well. And she's got

some traits of obsessive-compulsive personality disorder. Most recently, she

has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's dementia and is now at an assisted living

residence that provides Alzheimer's patient care as well.

So, maybe you will feel this Group will be helpful to you. I also belong to a

Yahoo! support Group for the adult children of narcissistic pd parents, which

you may find useful as well.

-Annie

>

> Hello,

> I am brand new to this group, I found my way here after reading a short

article in Psychology Today about narcissistic personality disorder. In the

comments section a person who posted about having a narcissistic parent was

referred to the group by the author of the article, I believe her name was

Randi. (The author) I have read some of the posts and am wondering if I belong

here, I don't know much about Borderline Personality Disorder but it seems like

it may be similar to narcissistic personality disorder. I am just now starting

to realize the truth about my abusive childhood and my very manipulative mother.

I am trying to navigate new boundaries in my relationship with her and figure

out how to protect my PRECIOUS daughters from her sickness. (They are 3 and 1.)

I do have a wonderful therapist (who actually suggested to me that my mother was

a narcissist) but I feel like I would like someone to talk to who really

understands because it is hard to explain to my friends the true nature of her

sometimes very subtle cruelty and manipulation. A lot of people really don't

get it. Thank you!

>

September 27, 2011

Hi ,

Welcome to the group. My mother is also Narcissistic and I have a 2 year old

that I am trying to protect from becoming her 'narcissistic supply'. I don't

have any advise because I am new to the group also and trying to figure out my

relationship with her, but I wanted to let you know that I totally 'get it' and

that you are not alone.

September 28, 2011

Welcome , and Hi All,

My own adult children has just recently gone NC with their grandnada. I

am both saddened by this, mainly because I had hoped (you'd think I'd know

better . . .) my Nada would have tried harder to maintain a good

relationship with the kids, and so very very proud of my children for making

this difficult decision. I had felt guilty, that perhaps my own difficulties

with my Nada had colored my childrens perceptions, but when they shared

their own experiences with me, I felt heartsick, and disgusted with myself

for not protecting my own children better. Nada was pretty good when they

were little, but as adolescence approached, she began to actively undermine

their relationships with their grandfather. She gaslighted, lied, implied,

and set up untenable situations. Now that he has passed, her attacks have

become even weirder, more divisive and blatant.

I applaud your decision to protect your children early !

On a lighter note,

I recently found a book, a non-fiction work entitled, *Malignant Self

Love*, by author Sam Vaknin, a self - confessed narcissist, author, poet,

artist, philosopher, economist, and novelist,( and, is probably also an all

'round peachy dancer . . .)

Honest to heaven, this is one of the finest treatises on narcissism I have

*ever *read, it had me alternately in tears of horror and hilarity.

The guy just can't help himself. . . how he manages to be simultaneously

self-effacing and self-aggrandizing is truly a narcissistic wonder to

behold, and anything that can both enlighten *and* entertain (even if

unintentionally,) rates pretty highly with me!

Vaknin states, at the beginning of the book, that although he is *not* a

mental health professional, he *is* trained in counseling techniques, (?)

and later goes into depth about his own experiences of his own narcissism.

Vankin writes well, and appears to be quite candid. A terrific book to

check out on the NPD condition !

I'd love to know what you folks think !

Just type in; Malignant Self Love, Sam Vaknin, and you will find a

plethora of links to his websites.

On Tue, Sep 27, 2011 at 12:11 PM, jamiekitten1974 <jamie.lockwood1@...

> wrote:

> **

>

> Hi ,

>

> Welcome to the group. My mother is also Narcissistic and I have a 2 year

> old that I am trying to protect from becoming her 'narcissistic supply'. I

> don't have any advise because I am new to the group also and trying to

> figure out my relationship with her, but I wanted to let you know that I

> totally 'get it' and that you are not alone.

>

September 29, 2011

Hi -

This group is an amazing place to find support and people who get it. I think it

can sometimes be overwhelming at first to start making all of the connections

and realizing (not minimizing) what happened in your childhood. I think I found

this forum in tears a few years ago trying to figure everything out and find

people who understood. You have the right to do what's best for you and your

kids. I think with BP's or NP's as parents, it's easy to forget that you have

that right!! Navigating new boundaries is the first, and sometimes hard step and

I commend you for that.

Take care