NADA is e-stalking me...I think!

[Guest guest]

So a year or so ago I blocked my nada from my facebook page because she was

harrasing me.

I was logged in to LinkedIn the other day, and my nada showed up as a

" connection suggestion " .

Said she was a new member, meaning she signed up very recently.

My mom is disabled and unemployed, so she labeled herself as a " crafter " and a

" self proprietor " .

I clicked on her page, and of course there is no information and she has zero

connections. I think she created it so she could get to me somehow.

I have changed my privacy setting of course, but just seeing her name brought up

all kinds of panic!

Kind of funny since she is the one who told me that I was scum and never wanted

anything to do with me again until I met her demands.

Sara Jo

[Guest guest]

Sara jo, I feel your panic! All sorts of emotions came to surface when fada

tried to add me as a connection on LinkedIn. I was so mad when I found out

my LinkedIn settings wasn't set to private, as I had thought, so fada found

out where I worked. I was so mad. I did use the opportunity to return the

cyber stalking and saw what my fada was up to, and he was working on

publishing a book on leadership for teens. (Yeah, BPD/NPD leadership is SO

healthy *rolls eyes*) He had one or two connections, including bada, so I

almost suspect he was hoping to " friend " me on linked in to keep pretending

the family is whole, for the world's sake. Even when he said, " goodbye

daughter, it was nice knowing you for 21 years " a few years back, when he

disowned me. WTF.

Anyway, I wouldn't be surprised of your nada was trying to stalk you--so

it's a good thing you have a good handle on LinkedIn privacy. And just deny

any connection requests if you don't want to be " connected " to her on

LinkedIn.

I wish they would actually leave us alone...but I think our nada/fada panic

sometimes when we're not there to feed their needs and aren't bending to

their ridiculous demands, lol.

Holly

> **

>

>

> So a year or so ago I blocked my nada from my facebook page because she was

> harrasing me.

>

> I was logged in to LinkedIn the other day, and my nada showed up as a

> " connection suggestion " .

>

> Said she was a new member, meaning she signed up very recently.

>

> My mom is disabled and unemployed, so she labeled herself as a " crafter "

> and a " self proprietor " .

>

> I clicked on her page, and of course there is no information and she has

> zero connections. I think she created it so she could get to me somehow.

>

> I have changed my privacy setting of course, but just seeing her name

> brought up all kinds of panic!

>

> Kind of funny since she is the one who told me that I was scum and never

> wanted anything to do with me again until I met her demands.

>

> Sara Jo

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I understand the feeling of dread and even fear when someone you don't want to

have contact with begins stalking you; even Internet stalking can be really

stressful.

I've had both a real-life stalker (former boyfriend, when I was in college) and

an Internet stalker (former childhood female friend with npd) and of the two,

the harassment and stalking from the npd former childhood friend was much more

prolonged and stressful than the guy's was, if you can believe it. All it took

for the guy to stop trying to contact me was to ask my dad to speak to him.

Just hearing " Leave me alone! " from me didn't stop him, it took my dad telling

him to buzz off to have an impact.

So, if you want to remain in No Contact with your nada, then I think that

blocking her access to you in as many ways as possible is the best course of

action. At the anti-stalking sites, they advise that any attention you give the

stalker/harasser will only prolong their attempts to solicit contact with you.

Even negative attention (like, " I told you to stop trying to contact me, leave

me alone! " ) is a reward for them, and they'll just keep up the stalking and

harassment even longer.

So, NEVER respond, not even to defend yourself against lies/false accusations.

If you feel that your good reputation/good name/financial credibility are at

stake, if your nada is making false accusations that are having a negative

impact on your ability to earn a living, etc. (nadas, it seems, will go to the

extreme of making accusations of child abuse, child neglect, or domestic

violence against their adult child or their adult child's spouse, in order to

seek revenge against their " blackened " adult child, or to or coerce said adult

child into obedience) then its time to get a lawyer and file a libel/slander

lawsuit and/or initiate a restraining order. When things go that far, you have

to pull out the " big guns " and prevent your clearly insane nada from doing real

damage to you and your family.

It took me a while, about a year, to figure out that any response to my Internet

stalker was counterproductive, and once I figured out who it was that was

harassing me (she was doing it anonymously) and what to do (totally, completely

ignore all contact attempts and negative posts) it still took TWO YEARS for my

ex-childhood-friend to lose interest and stop harassing and stalking me.

So, best of luck to you. Keep your boundaries firm, and no responding will

work, eventually.

-Annie

>

> So a year or so ago I blocked my nada from my facebook page because she was

harrasing me.

>

> I was logged in to LinkedIn the other day, and my nada showed up as a

" connection suggestion " .

>

> Said she was a new member, meaning she signed up very recently.

>

> My mom is disabled and unemployed, so she labeled herself as a " crafter " and a

" self proprietor " .

>

> I clicked on her page, and of course there is no information and she has zero

connections. I think she created it so she could get to me somehow.

>

> I have changed my privacy setting of course, but just seeing her name brought

up all kinds of panic!

>

> Kind of funny since she is the one who told me that I was scum and never

wanted anything to do with me again until I met her demands.

>

> Sara Jo

>

[Guest guest]

Sara j,

Although you may very well be right, there is also another possibility. LinkedIn

is always sending me connection suggestions of people that are in my address

book - people I've done business with, usually with, but don't necessarily want

to add. Is your mother in your email address book?

Of course if she's not then that's ruled out.

Ugh. Nada stalking.

Em

> So a year or so ago I blocked my nada from my facebook page because she was

harrasing me.

>

> I was logged in to LinkedIn the other day, and my nada showed up as a

" connection suggestion " .

>

> Said she was a new member, meaning she signed up very recently.

>

> My mom is disabled and unemployed, so she labeled herself as a " crafter " and a

" self proprietor " .

>

> I clicked on her page, and of course there is no information and she has zero

connections. I think she created it so she could get to me somehow.

>

> I have changed my privacy setting of course, but just seeing her name brought

up all kinds of panic!

>

> Kind of funny since she is the one who told me that I was scum and never

wanted anything to do with me again until I met her demands.

>

> Sara Jo

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Em,

I'm sure my nada is in my email address book somehwere, but this connection

suggestion was my nada's actual LinkedIn profile. She actually has a profile.

I thank everyone for the support. I've strayed away from this site for a while,

I somehow forget how validating it is to be on here.

I wish there was a support group in my local town. A once a month get together

face to face with other victims of BPD parents.

Sara Jo

>

> > So a year or so ago I blocked my nada from my facebook page because she was

harrasing me.

> >

> > I was logged in to LinkedIn the other day, and my nada showed up as a

" connection suggestion " .

> >

> > Said she was a new member, meaning she signed up very recently.

> >

> > My mom is disabled and unemployed, so she labeled herself as a " crafter " and

a " self proprietor " .

> >

> > I clicked on her page, and of course there is no information and she has

zero connections. I think she created it so she could get to me somehow.

> >

> > I have changed my privacy setting of course, but just seeing her name

brought up all kinds of panic!

> >

> > Kind of funny since she is the one who told me that I was scum and never

wanted anything to do with me again until I met her demands.

> >

> > Sara Jo

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

>