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So, I've posted before about Waif Boss' fantasy life

She is in love with this opera singer who is 25 yrs her junior and who is a

celebrity.

Today is the opera singer's birthday. She is wearing a t-shirt with his name

on it and had a cake made for him. She brought the cake to the office, and

it is highly decorated and says happy birthday dear fantasy boyfriend. I

think she thinks she is cute.

I'm totally creeped out that she is crossing her fantasy life into reality

and wants her coworkers to share a real cake that is about a fantasy.

I'm way way way creeped out. She shoved the cake in my face fishing for

compliments. I didn't really look and just said something like oh that's

cute. Maybe I should tell her I'm worried - but then, that would be the old

me. The new me just wants to disengage.

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That is sooooo creepy. I had a fair number of crushes on famous guys while

growing up, but I NEVER wore a Tshirt with them on it, and I NEVER would

force others to share my fantasy by shoving cake into people's faces.

It's one thing to be a fan of say, Dr. Who (like my teenaged SIL is) and

then perhaps have a Dr Who themed cake for her own birthday---but while she

thinks he's cute, she never gets into a OMG OBSESSED state and never would

celebrate the birthday of a celebrity. Perhaps mentally note the birthday,

but never forces anyone else to share her interest in Dr. Who.

It's another thing entirely to be so wrapped up in this opera singer's life

that you're actually acting out your fantasy and forcing others to share

you. But it does fit in with her whole MO of obsessing about other people's

lives--wasn't she the one who would try to pump people for details about

their illnesses just so she could make this big deal out of it? It's like

she has no life of her own--she forces others to allow her to live

vicariously through them.

I'm with you, GS. Creeeeeeepy.

On Thu, Sep 29, 2011 at 12:22 PM, Girlscout Cowboy <

girlscout.cowboy@...> wrote:

> **

>

>

> So, I've posted before about Waif Boss' fantasy life

>

> She is in love with this opera singer who is 25 yrs her junior and who is a

> celebrity.

>

> Today is the opera singer's birthday. She is wearing a t-shirt with his

> name

> on it and had a cake made for him. She brought the cake to the office, and

> it is highly decorated and says happy birthday dear fantasy boyfriend. I

> think she thinks she is cute.

>

> I'm totally creeped out that she is crossing her fantasy life into reality

> and wants her coworkers to share a real cake that is about a fantasy.

>

> I'm way way way creeped out. She shoved the cake in my face fishing for

> compliments. I didn't really look and just said something like oh that's

> cute. Maybe I should tell her I'm worried - but then, that would be the old

> me. The new me just wants to disengage.

>

>

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So creepy

Right before that we were talking about names we like. She said she thinks

Grace is a pretty name.

Minutes later I heard her telling someone else that her fantasy boyfriend's

daughter is named Grace

GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!

On Thu, Sep 29, 2011 at 11:54 AM, Holly Lipschultz <

hollymichellebyers@...> wrote:

> That is sooooo creepy. I had a fair number of crushes on famous guys while

> growing up, but I NEVER wore a Tshirt with them on it, and I NEVER would

> force others to share my fantasy by shoving cake into people's faces.

>

> It's one thing to be a fan of say, Dr. Who (like my teenaged SIL is) and

> then perhaps have a Dr Who themed cake for her own birthday---but while she

> thinks he's cute, she never gets into a OMG OBSESSED state and never would

> celebrate the birthday of a celebrity. Perhaps mentally note the birthday,

> but never forces anyone else to share her interest in Dr. Who.

>

> It's another thing entirely to be so wrapped up in this opera singer's life

> that you're actually acting out your fantasy and forcing others to share

> you. But it does fit in with her whole MO of obsessing about other people's

> lives--wasn't she the one who would try to pump people for details about

> their illnesses just so she could make this big deal out of it? It's like

> she has no life of her own--she forces others to allow her to live

> vicariously through them.

>

> I'm with you, GS. Creeeeeeepy.

>

> On Thu, Sep 29, 2011 at 12:22 PM, Girlscout Cowboy <

> girlscout.cowboy@...> wrote:

>

> > **

> >

> >

> > So, I've posted before about Waif Boss' fantasy life

> >

> > She is in love with this opera singer who is 25 yrs her junior and who is

> a

> > celebrity.

> >

> > Today is the opera singer's birthday. She is wearing a t-shirt with his

> > name

> > on it and had a cake made for him. She brought the cake to the office,

> and

> > it is highly decorated and says happy birthday dear fantasy boyfriend. I

> > think she thinks she is cute.

> >

> > I'm totally creeped out that she is crossing her fantasy life into

> reality

> > and wants her coworkers to share a real cake that is about a fantasy.

> >

> > I'm way way way creeped out. She shoved the cake in my face fishing for

> > compliments. I didn't really look and just said something like oh that's

> > cute. Maybe I should tell her I'm worried - but then, that would be the

> old

> > me. The new me just wants to disengage.

> >

> >

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For me, I see this as more sad and pathetic than frightening. Your waify boss

appears to have no real inner life of her own, apparently; no goals, no creative

things she's working on, so (as another poster mentioned) she's living a kind of

vicarious or virtual life. Its sad that the only things she has to fill her

life are so... pointless.

She's kind of like a female version of computer game " geeks " who live in their

parents' basement playing World of Warcraft 16 hours a day, or something. If

her fantasies and obsessions cross over into stalking behavior, then, that's

something to be very concerned about or afraid of, if you are the focus of her

obsession. But she just seems kind of emotionally stunted to me; sad, but

harmless.

I think your instinct to just disengage (think " Medium Chill " ) and keep a very

wide and firm boundary with her is the most workable option since she is your

boss.

-Annie

>

> So, I've posted before about Waif Boss' fantasy life

>

> She is in love with this opera singer who is 25 yrs her junior and who is a

> celebrity.

>

> Today is the opera singer's birthday. She is wearing a t-shirt with his name

> on it and had a cake made for him. She brought the cake to the office, and

> it is highly decorated and says happy birthday dear fantasy boyfriend. I

> think she thinks she is cute.

>

> I'm totally creeped out that she is crossing her fantasy life into reality

> and wants her coworkers to share a real cake that is about a fantasy.

>

> I'm way way way creeped out. She shoved the cake in my face fishing for

> compliments. I didn't really look and just said something like oh that's

> cute. Maybe I should tell her I'm worried - but then, that would be the old

> me. The new me just wants to disengage.

>

>

>

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True that, Annie. Sad.

On Thu, Sep 29, 2011 at 12:49 PM, anuria67854 wrote:

> **

>

>

> For me, I see this as more sad and pathetic than frightening. Your waify

> boss appears to have no real inner life of her own, apparently; no goals, no

> creative things she's working on, so (as another poster mentioned) she's

> living a kind of vicarious or virtual life. Its sad that the only things she

> has to fill her life are so... pointless.

>

> She's kind of like a female version of computer game " geeks " who live in

> their parents' basement playing World of Warcraft 16 hours a day, or

> something. If her fantasies and obsessions cross over into stalking

> behavior, then, that's something to be very concerned about or afraid of, if

> you are the focus of her obsession. But she just seems kind of emotionally

> stunted to me; sad, but harmless.

>

> I think your instinct to just disengage (think " Medium Chill " ) and keep a

> very wide and firm boundary with her is the most workable option since she

> is your boss.

>

> -Annie

>

>

>

> >

> > So, I've posted before about Waif Boss' fantasy life

> >

> > She is in love with this opera singer who is 25 yrs her junior and who is

> a

> > celebrity.

> >

> > Today is the opera singer's birthday. She is wearing a t-shirt with his

> name

> > on it and had a cake made for him. She brought the cake to the office,

> and

> > it is highly decorated and says happy birthday dear fantasy boyfriend. I

> > think she thinks she is cute.

> >

> > I'm totally creeped out that she is crossing her fantasy life into

> reality

> > and wants her coworkers to share a real cake that is about a fantasy.

> >

> > I'm way way way creeped out. She shoved the cake in my face fishing for

> > compliments. I didn't really look and just said something like oh that's

> > cute. Maybe I should tell her I'm worried - but then, that would be the

> old

> > me. The new me just wants to disengage.

> >

> >

> >

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OMG!! you should write a book about your boss. That has got to be the funniest

thing I've ever heard. What a dork! someone mentioned their teenaged niece and

Anne mentioned this woman might be emotionally stunted. This woman sounds like

she got stuck at about 12. Do you remember swooning over Donny Osmond or New

Kids on the block? My obsession was actually Molly Ringwald and

Masterson but that's a whole 'nother story. Too Funny. I will be laughing all

day.

Jules

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Ah Jules thanks for making me smile. Something about it is deeply disturbing

to me. But, yeah, when I was 10 I was totally in love with Davy from

the Monkees.

Funny thing is my boss's daughter who is just a couple years younger than me

also loved Davy - and waif boss took daughter to meet him, and waif

boss totally insulted Davy in front of daughter and Davy HEARD

HER!!! She said " Stop your crying, these are just old men like your dad. "

You can imagine my reaction when I heard that she insulted Davy to his

FACE!!!!!

> **

>

>

>

>

> OMG!! you should write a book about your boss. That has got to be the

> funniest thing I've ever heard. What a dork! someone mentioned their

> teenaged niece and Anne mentioned this woman might be emotionally stunted.

> This woman sounds like she got stuck at about 12. Do you remember swooning

> over Donny Osmond or New Kids on the block? My obsession was actually Molly

> Ringwald and Masterson but that's a whole 'nother story. Too

> Funny. I will be laughing all day.

> Jules

>

>

>

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I know it's not funny but I had to cover my mouth I was laughing so hard at my

office. I know someone like that; she's in love with that actor from Sex and the

City (Noth) and when I've asked HER how SHE is, she will tell me how HE

is doing. She goes to very pricey fundraisers he's hosted and made sure he

noticed her. She's single and between 50-60 and I feel sad for her.

I mean, I have a huge crush on that German violinist, Garrett, but if I

ever spent a dime on his birthday or anything like that, I would feel so

embarrassed and pathetic!

I guess it's not hurting anyone that she's doing it. But I agree, it is strange.

>

> So, I've posted before about Waif Boss' fantasy life

>

> She is in love with this opera singer who is 25 yrs her junior and who is a

> celebrity.

>

> Today is the opera singer's birthday. She is wearing a t-shirt with his name

> on it and had a cake made for him. She brought the cake to the office, and

> it is highly decorated and says happy birthday dear fantasy boyfriend. I

> think she thinks she is cute.

>

> I'm totally creeped out that she is crossing her fantasy life into reality

> and wants her coworkers to share a real cake that is about a fantasy.

>

> I'm way way way creeped out. She shoved the cake in my face fishing for

> compliments. I didn't really look and just said something like oh that's

> cute. Maybe I should tell her I'm worried - but then, that would be the old

> me. The new me just wants to disengage.

>

>

>

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Yeah, these crushes on movie stars are ludicrous. Grown people acting like the

teenagers at Shea Stadium when the Beatles arrived - totally silly.

Well, unless the crush is on Connery.

Old, bald, and in a kilt, he's still got that Voice. But I have to admit, I

don't know when his birthday is. (Sorry, - call me!!)

(kidding... unless there's a chance he might really call...)

> >

> > So, I've posted before about Waif Boss' fantasy life

> >

> > She is in love with this opera singer who is 25 yrs her junior and who is a

> > celebrity.

> >

> > Today is the opera singer's birthday. She is wearing a t-shirt with his name

> > on it and had a cake made for him. She brought the cake to the office, and

> > it is highly decorated and says happy birthday dear fantasy boyfriend. I

> > think she thinks she is cute.

> >

> > I'm totally creeped out that she is crossing her fantasy life into reality

> > and wants her coworkers to share a real cake that is about a fantasy.

> >

> > I'm way way way creeped out. She shoved the cake in my face fishing for

> > compliments. I didn't really look and just said something like oh that's

> > cute. Maybe I should tell her I'm worried - but then, that would be the old

> > me. The new me just wants to disengage.

> >

> >

> >

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Oh Fiona! XOXO! I have some crushes like that myself. . . but yeah - to

force your crush on everyone around you and think its cute at any point

after age 14? It just feels gross to be around it! I love that you guys

remind me to laugh!

I guess it's one of kson's stages right - entering the fifth and sixth

decades is either generativity vs self absorption and stagnation, and

leading into integrity vs despair.

It makes me despair that rather than do so many things, she is out buying a

cake and planning a stupid outfit for a fantasy.

It is funny (esp when she went home to change clothes to match the opera

singer cake I bought her in June), but I also feel dirty just being around

it. Like I got slimed by ghost ectoplasm in ghost busters.

> **

>

>

> I know it's not funny but I had to cover my mouth I was laughing so hard at

> my office. I know someone like that; she's in love with that actor from Sex

> and the City (Noth) and when I've asked HER how SHE is, she will tell

> me how HE is doing. She goes to very pricey fundraisers he's hosted and made

> sure he noticed her. She's single and between 50-60 and I feel sad for her.

>

> I mean, I have a huge crush on that German violinist, Garrett, but if

> I ever spent a dime on his birthday or anything like that, I would feel so

> embarrassed and pathetic!

>

> I guess it's not hurting anyone that she's doing it. But I agree, it is

> strange.

>

>

>

> >

> > So, I've posted before about Waif Boss' fantasy life

> >

> > She is in love with this opera singer who is 25 yrs her junior and who is

> a

> > celebrity.

> >

> > Today is the opera singer's birthday. She is wearing a t-shirt with his

> name

> > on it and had a cake made for him. She brought the cake to the office,

> and

> > it is highly decorated and says happy birthday dear fantasy boyfriend. I

> > think she thinks she is cute.

> >

> > I'm totally creeped out that she is crossing her fantasy life into

> reality

> > and wants her coworkers to share a real cake that is about a fantasy.

> >

> > I'm way way way creeped out. She shoved the cake in my face fishing for

> > compliments. I didn't really look and just said something like oh that's

> > cute. Maybe I should tell her I'm worried - but then, that would be the

> old

> > me. The new me just wants to disengage.

> >

> >

> >

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!!!!! Call me Captain Pickard, I'll be waiting. and if your

busy and Warf calls instead, I'll take that too.

and totally out of my reach - Cameron - I love you so much

that when I saw you standing in line for a movie in front of me in manhattan

i totally considered licking your shoes for just a split second.

But yeah, i have no idea when their birthdays are.

On Fri, Sep 30, 2011 at 7:49 AM, shirleyspawn wrote:

> **

>

>

> Yeah, these crushes on movie stars are ludicrous. Grown people acting like

> the teenagers at Shea Stadium when the Beatles arrived - totally silly.

>

> Well, unless the crush is on Connery.

>

> Old, bald, and in a kilt, he's still got that Voice. But I have to admit, I

> don't know when his birthday is. (Sorry, - call me!!)

>

> (kidding... unless there's a chance he might really call...)

>

>

>

> > >

> > > So, I've posted before about Waif Boss' fantasy life

> > >

> > > She is in love with this opera singer who is 25 yrs her junior and who

> is a

> > > celebrity.

> > >

> > > Today is the opera singer's birthday. She is wearing a t-shirt with his

> name

> > > on it and had a cake made for him. She brought the cake to the office,

> and

> > > it is highly decorated and says happy birthday dear fantasy boyfriend.

> I

> > > think she thinks she is cute.

> > >

> > > I'm totally creeped out that she is crossing her fantasy life into

> reality

> > > and wants her coworkers to share a real cake that is about a fantasy.

> > >

> > > I'm way way way creeped out. She shoved the cake in my face fishing for

> > > compliments. I didn't really look and just said something like oh

> that's

> > > cute. Maybe I should tell her I'm worried - but then, that would be the

> old

> > > me. The new me just wants to disengage.

> > >

> > >

> > >

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You're right. She is deeply disturbing. I find it difficult to work with too

many people. I suspect that's why I have to work for myself and not an employer.

There are so many people suffering with mental illness; they often trigger me.

Is that what's happening to you when you have to deal with her? I'm starting to

realize that some of my clients were triggering me. I didn't know it at the time

except that they might remind me of my nada. Do you think this might be similar

to how you feel around this woman? Do you also find that you're seeing BPD in

more and more people now that you understand it better?

BTW, I hope I didn't discount your feelings. I didn't mean to do that at all. I

just wanted to point out how funny the crazies (BPD behaviors)can be. I get so

anxious that I often try to find the humor. I get weighed down I guess. So

whenever possible, I like to laugh at all the nutsness in the world. I find for

me that laughing off the crazies is often my best antidote for the big giant man

that often sits on top of my chest. Sorry if I was invalidating by laughing.

Jules

P.S. Davey was a cutie.

>

> Ah Jules thanks for making me smile. Something about it is deeply disturbing

> to me.

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Yes, I am actually looking at a new career right now where I can have more

control over who I work with. I agree, they are triggering!!!!

And I laughed, I appreciate you helping me see the humor more. XOXO

> **

>

>

> You're right. She is deeply disturbing. I find it difficult to work with

> too many people. I suspect that's why I have to work for myself and not an

> employer. There are so many people suffering with mental illness; they often

> trigger me. Is that what's happening to you when you have to deal with her?

> I'm starting to realize that some of my clients were triggering me. I didn't

> know it at the time except that they might remind me of my nada. Do you

> think this might be similar to how you feel around this woman? Do you also

> find that you're seeing BPD in more and more people now that you understand

> it better?

>

> BTW, I hope I didn't discount your feelings. I didn't mean to do that at

> all. I just wanted to point out how funny the crazies (BPD behaviors)can be.

> I get so anxious that I often try to find the humor. I get weighed down I

> guess. So whenever possible, I like to laugh at all the nutsness in the

> world. I find for me that laughing off the crazies is often my best antidote

> for the big giant man that often sits on top of my chest. Sorry if I was

> invalidating by laughing.

> Jules

> P.S. Davey was a cutie.

>

>

>

> >

> > Ah Jules thanks for making me smile. Something about it is deeply

> disturbing

> > to me.

>

>

>

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