Guest guest Posted October 12, 2010 Report Share Posted October 12, 2010 Hi all,Now that I'm certain that my emails are now private, I can share and vent a bit.I am seriously considering divorce, and have even set up a free consultation with a lawyer for next Tues. I am feeling scared and alone right now about it all. Don't think I'll be able to survive on the mere $800 I receive for disability, and unsure I'd receive alimony, though someone said they thought being on disability would increase my chances.I'd love to hear from anyone that has gone through, or is going through a divorce. I know my husband is going to be shocked, enraged, etc., and I'm not certain I can handle his response. I am fairly sure there will be no physical ramifications of the news.I am struggling right now. I am depressed to the point of considering hospitalization, though that always severely impacts my kids. Then they have to be alone with the lunatic that is their dad. I can't have that either. I feel lost and very stuck.I'm sorry to be so down lately. It's just what I'm dealing with right now.Thanks for listening,love to all,Kate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 12, 2010 Report Share Posted October 12, 2010 Kate I have never been divorced but our 2 boys have and its much better to divorce than live in misery. The one ex daughter in law, when the divorce was final, looked at our son and said, I am going to make your life a living hell. Well she managed, now that Jarett is 18 Timmy doesn't have to put up with her anymore. I will keep you in my prayers. Is there anyone that could take care of the kids if you go in the hospital?? You need to take care of YOU so you can be there for the kids if you do divorce. Hugs nne To the world you might be one person, but to one person you just might be the world""May the Lord Bless you and keep you,May the Lord Make his face shine upon you, and give you Peace...Forever"Breast Cancer Patients Soul Mates for Lifehttp://breastcancerpatientssoulmatesforlife.bravehost.com/ Anxiety Depression and Breast Cancerhttp://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/AnxietyDepressionandBreastCancerAngel Feather Loomerwww.angelfeatherloomer.blogspot.comThe Cancer Clubwww.cancerclub.com -----Original Message-----From: rothschildkate@...Sent: Tue, 12 Oct 2010 13:30:19 -0700 (PDT)To: mserslife Subject: stuff Hi all,Now that I'm certain that my emails are now private, I can share and vent a bit.I am seriously considering divorce, and have even set up a free consultation with a lawyer for next Tues. I am feeling scared and alone right now about it all. Don't think I'll be able to survive on the mere $800 I receive for disability, and unsure I'd receive alimony, though someone said they thought being on disability would increase my chances.I'd love to hear from anyone that has gone through, or is going through a divorce. I know my husband is going to be shocked, enraged, etc., and I'm not certain I can handle his response. I am fairly sure there will be no physical ramifications of the news.I am struggling right now. I am depressed to the point of considering hospitalization, though that always severely impacts my kids. Then they have to be alone with the lunatic that is their dad. I can't have that either. I feel lost and very stuck.I'm sorry to be so down lately. It's just what I'm dealing with right now.Thanks for listening,love to all,Kate Try FREE IM ToolPack at www.imtoolpack.com Capture screenshots, upload images, edit and send them to your friends through IMs, post on Twitter®, Facebook®, MySpace™, LinkedIn® – FAST! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 12, 2010 Report Share Posted October 12, 2010 Sweet Sister, you know we are all here for you. Always have been, always will be. You have heard enough of MY venting, Lordy knows!!! You were "with" me through all of my woes with Rob, and I will be with you through all of yours. Call me if you need, when you need. Don't use Skype, that broadcasts (unless you are using headphones), call me on the regular phone. in case you don't have it. If you ever need a place to stay, you have one here. ~*~Hugs~*~ ~*~Akiba~*~ -- stuff Hi all,Now that I'm certain that my emails are now private, I can share and vent a bit.I am seriously considering divorce, and have even set up a free consultation with a lawyer for next Tues. I am feeling scared and alone right now about it all. Don't think I'll be able to survive on the mere $800 I receive for disability, and unsure I'd receive alimony, though someone said they thought being on disability would increase my chances.I'd love to hear from anyone that has gone through, or is going through a divorce. I know my husband is going to be shocked, enraged, etc., and I'm not certain I can handle his response. I am fairly sure there will be no physical ramifications of the news.I am struggling right now. I am depressed to the point of considering hospitalization, though that always severely impacts my kids. Then they have to be alone with the lunatic that is their dad. I can't have that either. I feel lost and very stuck.I'm sorry to be so down lately. It's just what I'm dealing with right now.Thanks for listening,love to all,Kate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 12, 2010 Report Share Posted October 12, 2010 Thank you, Akiba! I put your # in my cell.You mean the world to me...love, KateTo: MSersLife Sent: Tue, October 12, 2010 4:45:04 PMSubject: Re: stuff Sweet Sister, you know we are all here for you. Always have been, always will be. You have heard enough of MY venting, Lordy knows!!! You were "with" me through all of my woes with Rob, and I will be with you through all of yours. Call me if you need, when you need. Don't use Skype, that broadcasts (unless you are using headphones), call me on the regular phone. in case you don't have it. If you ever need a place to stay, you have one here. ~*~Hugs~*~ ~*~Akiba~*~ -- stuff Hi all,Now that I'm certain that my emails are now private, I can share and vent a bit.I am seriously considering divorce, and have even set up a free consultation with a lawyer for next Tues. I am feeling scared and alone right now about it all. Don't think I'll be able to survive on the mere $800 I receive for disability, and unsure I'd receive alimony, though someone said they thought being on disability would increase my chances.I'd love to hear from anyone that has gone through, or is going through a divorce. I know my husband is going to be shocked, enraged, etc., and I'm not certain I can handle his response. I am fairly sure there will be no physical ramifications of the news.I am struggling right now. I am depressed to the point of considering hospitalization, though that always severely impacts my kids. Then they have to be alone with the lunatic that is their dad. I can't have that either. I feel lost and very stuck.I'm sorry to be so down lately. It's just what I'm dealing with right now.Thanks for listening,love to all,Kate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 12, 2010 Report Share Posted October 12, 2010 Cool Beenz, and you mean a whole lot to me as well, honey...you know that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 12, 2010 Report Share Posted October 12, 2010 I dont have kids,husband so im clueless. But im n ohio with plenty of space and open doors and heart and a great dog. U always have kind words,i treasure that. IM if u need me. Im n ohio but thats my cell,i always have it. SHALONDA "Me + God's grace & forgiveness can overcome any & everything" Subject: stuffTo: MSersLife Date: Tuesday, October 12, 2010, 4:30 PM Hi all,Now that I'm certain that my emails are now private, I can share and vent a bit.I am seriously considering divorce, and have even set up a free consultation with a lawyer for next Tues. I am feeling scared and alone right now about it all. Don't think I'll be able to survive on the mere $800 I receive for disability, and unsure I'd receive alimony, though someone said they thought being on disability would increase my chances.I'd love to hear from anyone that has gone through, or is going through a divorce. I know my husband is going to be shocked, enraged, etc., and I'm not certain I can handle his response. I am fairly sure there will be no physical ramifications of the news.I am struggling right now. I am depressed to the point of considering hospitalization, though that always severely impacts my kids. Then they have to be alone with the lunatic that is their dad. I can't have that either. I feel lost and very stuck.I'm sorry to be so down lately. It's just what I'm dealing with right now.Thanks for listening,love to all,Kate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 12, 2010 Report Share Posted October 12, 2010 Dear KateYou know I am here for you --always! As all of us are:)Good luck with the appointment and let me know what happens. I have a feeling it will go better than you think.hugslove you SharonThis email is a natural hand made product. The slight variations in spelling and grammar enhance its individual character and beauty and in no way are to be considered flaws or defects. To: MSersLife Sent: Tue, October 12, 2010 1:30:19 PMSubject: stuff Hi all,Now that I'm certain that my emails are now private, I can share and vent a bit.I am seriously considering divorce, and have even set up a free consultation with a lawyer for next Tues. I am feeling scared and alone right now about it all. Don't think I'll be able to survive on the mere $800 I receive for disability, and unsure I'd receive alimony, though someone said they thought being on disability would increase my chances.I'd love to hear from anyone that has gone through, or is going through a divorce. I know my husband is going to be shocked, enraged, etc., and I'm not certain I can handle his response. I am fairly sure there will be no physical ramifications of the news.I am struggling right now. I am depressed to the point of considering hospitalization, though that always severely impacts my kids. Then they have to be alone with the lunatic that is their dad. I can't have that either. I feel lost and very stuck.I'm sorry to be so down lately. It's just what I'm dealing with right now.Thanks for listening,love to all,Kate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 12, 2010 Report Share Posted October 12, 2010 Sorry to hear things are not working out! But, like others here have said, divorcing is better than living in misery. For you and the kids both. I have no divorce experience of my own, but my parents divorced when I was 8 or 9, and I can tell you that I have had to put up with my parents fighting a lot less than many of my friends who have parents who stayed married. So, even for your kids it could very well be a good thing. love/Reb>> Hi all,> Now that I'm certain that my emails are now private, I can share and vent a bit.> I am seriously considering divorce, and have even set up a free consultation > with a lawyer for next Tues. I am feeling scared and alone right now about it > all. Don't think I'll be able to survive on the mere $800 I receive for > disability, and unsure I'd receive alimony, though someone said they thought > being on disability would increase my chances.> I'd love to hear from anyone that has gone through, or is going through a > divorce. I know my husband is going to be shocked, enraged, etc., and I'm not > certain I can handle his response. I am fairly sure there will be no physical > ramifications of the news.> I am struggling right now. I am depressed to the point of considering > hospitalization, though that always severely impacts my kids. Then they have to > be alone with the lunatic that is their dad. I can't have that either. I feel > lost and very stuck.> I'm sorry to be so down lately. It's just what I'm dealing with right now.> Thanks for listening,> love to all,> Kate> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 13, 2010 Report Share Posted October 13, 2010 Shalonda,You are a love. Where you are sounds so special.If it turns out that I need to run and hide, I'll keep youin mind.love, KateTo: MSersLife Sent: Tue, October 12, 2010 7:02:09 PMSubject: Re: stuff I dont have kids,husband so im clueless. But im n ohio with plenty of space and open doors and heart and a great dog. U always have kind words,i treasure that. IM if u need me. Im n ohio but thats my cell,i always have it. SHALONDA "Me + God's grace & forgiveness can overcome any & everything" Subject: stuffTo: MSersLife Date: Tuesday, October 12, 2010, 4:30 PM Hi all,Now that I'm certain that my emails are now private, I can share and vent a bit.I am seriously considering divorce, and have even set up a free consultation with a lawyer for next Tues. I am feeling scared and alone right now about it all. Don't think I'll be able to survive on the mere $800 I receive for disability, and unsure I'd receive alimony, though someone said they thought being on disability would increase my chances.I'd love to hear from anyone that has gone through, or is going through a divorce. I know my husband is going to be shocked, enraged, etc., and I'm not certain I can handle his response. I am fairly sure there will be no physical ramifications of the news.I am struggling right now. I am depressed to the point of considering hospitalization, though that always severely impacts my kids. Then they have to be alone with the lunatic that is their dad. I can't have that either. I feel lost and very stuck.I'm sorry to be so down lately. It's just what I'm dealing with right now.Thanks for listening,love to all,Kate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 13, 2010 Report Share Posted October 13, 2010 Thanks, Sharon. That's pretty much what thelawyer intimated also--that after I met with him,I wouldn't be as nervous as I currently am.Thanks to you and everyone for being there for me.It truly means the world to me.love to all,KateTo: MSersLife Sent: Tue, October 12, 2010 11:36:43 PMSubject: Re: stuff Dear KateYou know I am here for you --always! As all of us are:)Good luck with the appointment and let me know what happens. I have a feeling it will go better than you think.hugslove you SharonThis email is a natural hand made product. The slight variations in spelling and grammar enhance its individual character and beauty and in no way are to be considered flaws or defects. To: MSersLife Sent: Tue, October 12, 2010 1:30:19 PMSubject: stuff Hi all,Now that I'm certain that my emails are now private, I can share and vent a bit.I am seriously considering divorce, and have even set up a free consultation with a lawyer for next Tues. I am feeling scared and alone right now about it all. Don't think I'll be able to survive on the mere $800 I receive for disability, and unsure I'd receive alimony, though someone said they thought being on disability would increase my chances.I'd love to hear from anyone that has gone through, or is going through a divorce. I know my husband is going to be shocked, enraged, etc., and I'm not certain I can handle his response. I am fairly sure there will be no physical ramifications of the news.I am struggling right now. I am depressed to the point of considering hospitalization, though that always severely impacts my kids. Then they have to be alone with the lunatic that is their dad. I can't have that either. I feel lost and very stuck.I'm sorry to be so down lately. It's just what I'm dealing with right now.Thanks for listening,love to all,Kate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 13, 2010 Report Share Posted October 13, 2010 Yes, Reb, and thank you for your response, however, I amwondering the impact that the divorce had on YOU. Did youever feel like you caused it, that you suddenly had to choosebetween parents, etc? I am interested in the ....crap....can't remember or call to mind the word I wanted to say here...I guess I'm wondering about how you processed the divorce,as young as you were.I have been in misery for a LONG time.Oh, and was it your mom or dad that initiated the divorce, or do you know that?Thanks for any insights you can lend me, Reb.Love, KateTo: MSersLife Sent: Wed, October 13, 2010 1:58:32 AMSubject: Re: stuff Sorry to hear things are not working out! But, like others here have said, divorcing is better than living in misery. For you and the kids both. I have no divorce experience of my own, but my parents divorced when I was 8 or 9, and I can tell you that I have had to put up with my parents fighting a lot less than many of my friends who have parents who stayed married. So, even for your kids it could very well be a good thing. love/Reb>> Hi all,> Now that I'm certain that my emails are now private, I can share and vent a bit.> I am seriously considering divorce, and have even set up a free consultation > with a lawyer for next Tues. I am feeling scared and alone right now about it > all. Don't think I'll be able to survive on the mere $800 I receive for > disability, and unsure I'd receive alimony, though someone said they thought > being on disability would increase my chances.> I'd love to hear from anyone that has gone through, or is going through a > divorce. I know my husband is going to be shocked, enraged, etc., and I'm not > certain I can handle his response. I am fairly sure there will be no physical > ramifications of the news.> I am struggling right now. I am depressed to the point of considering > hospitalization, though that always severely impacts my kids. Then they have to > be alone with the lunatic that is their dad. I can't have that either. I feel > lost and very stuck.> I'm sorry to be so down lately. It's just what I'm dealing with right now.> Thanks for listening,> love to all,> Kate> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 13, 2010 Report Share Posted October 13, 2010 No, I never felt that I caused the divorce. I didn't know much about the reason back then, as neither dad nor mom ever discussed reasons with us. I (or all of us kids) did suspect (then) that dad's new girlfriend was part guilty, but I think (now) in retrospect that she probably had very little to do with the divorce. I think we blamed her because, well other than the obvious of course..., because we did make a pact the first Christmas after the divorce that we would all write "That dad moves back" as number 1 on our separate wish lists for Christmas. Because our family had the tradition that the first thing on your list you got, the other gifts were more surprises. And we figured that if we all had the same thing as number one, we were even more guaranteed to get it. And when we didn't...well, it could only be a third party involved, right. Because mom and dad on their own, would always give us that one thing we wanted most every year. Ergo: It's the girlfriend's fault. Logic of a child, huh ; ) But I guess it does beat taking the blame on oneself. It did come as a bit of a surprise, since I had never heard my parents argue with each other when one day dad simply didn't come home for supper and mom explained he had moved out (would come back for his stuff later). From what they have told me as an adult I gather that it was mostly on my dad's initiative, but that the process had been a little bit longer than that. Even if the final decision (on my dad's side) may have been a rather quick one. But that's not anything they told us back then. I think our parents wanted to spare us. And to a great part I think they did the right thing, that they never bad-mouthed each other did mean that we never felt that we had to choose between them. On the other hand a little explanation perhaps would not have been in the way. I suppose they felt that would have been hard to give without accusing each other. It's a tough balancing act, I guess.As an adult I feel that having been spared all that fighting between parents is a good thing. And more especially, I feel that through their divorce I have been given the opportunity to have independent relationships with them both. They are not a unit, but two individuals in my life, and that's a good thing. If that makes any sense. Of course, that doesn't mean it didn't come with a bit of grief back then. It was a loss after all. For instance I remember believing for the longest time that dad would return, and my "proof" for that was (other than the Christmas wish lists) the chess prize (he did compete in chess) that he was most proud of (he had several), and most careful about (it was of porcelain, and he was always careful to put it where it wouldn't fall to the floor and break etc). I had taken it from his stuff and put it in my room, on the shelf above my bed, because I was certain that there was no way he was gone for good if he had left that most valued thing behind. As time went on however, it became obvious that neither the chess prize nor the Christmas wish lists worked according to plan... And, well, had to go on with the grief process (to the extent that I hadn't already started it, after all denial is a stage of grief). I suppose your kids, and you too (even the end of a bad marriage is the end of something) will have grief processes of your own to work through. But that shouldn't discourage you. Your kids deserve a happy mom and a functioning family life! Not to mention that you deserve to *not* be miserable!And then again, let's not forget I was a child who didn't accept change very easily... When my family had moved from Stockholm to another city, when I was 4-5 years old, I would answer the door when kids from the neighborhood came asking me to come out and play, and very politely turn down the offer, then go back to play on my own. One day mum asked me why, saying: "These kids, they want to become your friends." I answered: "But mum, I already have friends. It's just that they don't live here." Well, that did go away in time, and I did become friends with those kids eventually... Showing that even a change resisting child like me will accept the new situation eventually...Is this anywhere near the kind of answer you were looking for? Hope so.Good luck with everything!love/Reb> >> > Hi all,> > Now that I'm certain that my emails are now private, I can share and vent a > >bit.> > I am seriously considering divorce, and have even set up a free consultation > > with a lawyer for next Tues. I am feeling scared and alone right now about it > > all. Don't think I'll be able to survive on the mere $800 I receive for > > disability, and unsure I'd receive alimony, though someone said they thought > > being on disability would increase my chances.> > I'd love to hear from anyone that has gone through, or is going through a > > divorce. I know my husband is going to be shocked, enraged, etc., and I'm not > > certain I can handle his response. I am fairly sure there will be no physical > > ramifications of the news.> > I am struggling right now. I am depressed to the point of considering > > hospitalization, though that always severely impacts my kids. Then they have to > >> > be alone with the lunatic that is their dad. I can't have that either. I feel > > lost and very stuck.> > I'm sorry to be so down lately. It's just what I'm dealing with right now.> > Thanks for listening,> > love to all,> > Kate> >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 13, 2010 Report Share Posted October 13, 2010 What time is your appointment? Be strong! You will be fine through all of this. It's time for some calm and happiness in your life, sweetie.love SharonThis email is a natural hand made product. The slight variations in spelling and grammar enhance its individual character and beauty and in no way are to be considered flaws or defects. To: MSersLife Sent: Wed, October 13, 2010 3:35:02 AMSubject: Re: stuff Thanks, Sharon. That's pretty much what thelawyer intimated also--that after I met with him,I wouldn't be as nervous as I currently am.Thanks to you and everyone for being there for me.It truly means the world to me.love to all,KateTo: MSersLife Sent: Tue, October 12, 2010 11:36:43 PMSubject: Re: stuff Dear KateYou know I am here for you --always! As all of us are:)Good luck with the appointment and let me know what happens. I have a feeling it will go better than you think.hugslove you SharonThis email is a natural hand made product. The slight variations in spelling and grammar enhance its individual character and beauty and in no way are to be considered flaws or defects. To: MSersLife Sent: Tue, October 12, 2010 1:30:19 PMSubject: stuff Hi all,Now that I'm certain that my emails are now private, I can share and vent a bit.I am seriously considering divorce, and have even set up a free consultation with a lawyer for next Tues. I am feeling scared and alone right now about it all. Don't think I'll be able to survive on the mere $800 I receive for disability, and unsure I'd receive alimony, though someone said they thought being on disability would increase my chances.I'd love to hear from anyone that has gone through, or is going through a divorce. I know my husband is going to be shocked, enraged, etc., and I'm not certain I can handle his response. I am fairly sure there will be no physical ramifications of the news.I am struggling right now. I am depressed to the point of considering hospitalization, though that always severely impacts my kids. Then they have to be alone with the lunatic that is their dad. I can't have that either. I feel lost and very stuck.I'm sorry to be so down lately. It's just what I'm dealing with right now.Thanks for listening,love to all,Kate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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