Guest guest Posted February 12, 2008 Report Share Posted February 12, 2008 , I'm sorry I missed your post before, wow this is really an epidemic, and they wonder why parents these days are under so much stress. Please let your son and daughter in law know they are not alone. We have to badger our Dr.s sometimes to get the right combo of meds and the same goes for our kids. Unfortunatly children don't know what normal feels like so they can't tell if they feel better or worse. God bless your Grandson and his parents. > > Wow, , you just discribed my grandson. I went to visit my son and his family this last Oct. My 10 yr old grandson was totally out of control most of the time. He is dx'd the same as your oldest son. Whenever he totally lost control, I went to the room I was staying. It was so hard to see all this. He is on meds but both my son and daughter-in-law feel that they aren't working. He picks on his 2 younger siblings but leaves the older ones alone. He even threw something and hit his mother in the head. My son and daugher- in-law don't know what to do. He swearing is beyond. I know this is off topic. I just wanted to respond to your post and let you know that I totally know what you have gone thru. > > D in CA > > > > --------------------------------- > Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Yahoo! Search. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 12, 2008 Report Share Posted February 12, 2008 , are you getting help/ support? I have had that problem, I own my condo so I can't really be evicted I guess, but they did threaten to force me to sell once because of my oldest. Luckily I had services in place that told them that was illegal. My children are involved with case management who can also help with legal support and family support. I wish I could be of more help. God bless you, please email me if I can help or if you need to vent, I've been there. > > > > > I will be typing about them alot sense they are > > > usually the major > > > source of my stress/ pain. My oldest just turned 18 > > > on Sunday but he > > > moved out last April. I could no longer emotionally > > > or physically > > > handle him in my house. He has been in therapy sense > > > age 4, the > > > soonest they would take him. We went through alot of > > > Dr.s and > > > therapists and dx and meds. His current official > > > diagnosis Bipolar 1 > > > mixed, I thought I knew what bipolar was until we > > > got this diagnosis > > > explained, and it really explained to me why my son > > > was who he was. > > > Bipolar 1 mixed in a nutshell means that his > > > depression and his mania > > > were cycling so fast that it's like they are both > > > running at the same > > > time. He is so angry most of the time, he sucks the > > > life out of most > > > rooms. Before he left he had put huge holes in my > > > walls that are > > > still there, I can't afford to fix them. The verbal > > > abuse was the > > > worst of it mostly for my younger son,constantly > > > being screamed at > > > just for being within his sight. My younger son and > > > I stayed shut in > > > my bedroom most of the time. The final straw was the > > > fighting with > > > his then pregnant girlfriend. He is now doing a > > > little better he is > > > living in an indepentent living program, working, > > > and somewhat > > > helping to take care of my beautiful 8 month old > > > Grandaughter. I know > > > this sounds awful but his Birthday felt like a huge > > > weight lifted > > > from my sholders. I never have to let him come home. > > > I love him with all my heart, but he's so much > > > easier to deal with > > > from a distance. My younger son is dxed w/ bipolar > > > but his is > > > textbook, the problem is that so many years of > > > verbal and physical > > > abuse from his brother has caused major emotional > > > scars, so every day > > > is less of a struggle but it is still a struggle. > > > Wow I'm going to > > > stop b4 I write a whole book. For those who pray > > > please remember my > > > sons when you think of them. > > > Thanks, > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 12, 2008 Report Share Posted February 12, 2008 , , i'm so sory that you are having difficultiies with your son. Do you have any help for him? My sister lives in you area and is a clinical behavioral psychologist specializing in autism. One of her sons is autistic and understand the problems families go through. I don't know what her work schedual is like but if you would like her info, email me off list and I will send it to you. JudyMer ---- mlwpdb wrote: > My son is 10years old and also has Aspergers Syndrome. He has > recently put a hole in my bathroom wall and kicked the bottom of my > storm door out. I have it taped up with packing tape. He also broke > my bathroom medicine cabinent mirror with his fists. We are close to > being evicted again from this apartment. We were kicked out three > other apartments since December 2006. He is a great source of my > stress, as well as his bio dad, which is another story for another > day. > > > NW Ohio > > > > > > > I will be typing about them alot sense they are > > > usually the major > > > source of my stress/ pain. My oldest just turned 18 > > > on Sunday but he > > > moved out last April. I could no longer emotionally > > > or physically > > > handle him in my house. He has been in therapy sense > > > age 4, the > > > soonest they would take him. We went through alot of > > > Dr.s and > > > therapists and dx and meds. His current official > > > diagnosis Bipolar 1 > > > mixed, I thought I knew what bipolar was until we > > > got this diagnosis > > > explained, and it really explained to me why my son > > > was who he was. > > > Bipolar 1 mixed in a nutshell means that his > > > depression and his mania > > > were cycling so fast that it's like they are both > > > running at the same > > > time. He is so angry most of the time, he sucks the > > > life out of most > > > rooms. Before he left he had put huge holes in my > > > walls that are > > > still there, I can't afford to fix them. The verbal > > > abuse was the > > > worst of it mostly for my younger son,constantly > > > being screamed at > > > just for being within his sight. My younger son and > > > I stayed shut in > > > my bedroom most of the time. The final straw was the > > > fighting with > > > his then pregnant girlfriend. He is now doing a > > > little better he is > > > living in an indepentent living program, working, > > > and somewhat > > > helping to take care of my beautiful 8 month old > > > Grandaughter. I know > > > this sounds awful but his Birthday felt like a huge > > > weight lifted > > > from my sholders. I never have to let him come home. > > > I love him with all my heart, but he's so much > > > easier to deal with > > > from a distance. My younger son is dxed w/ bipolar > > > but his is > > > textbook, the problem is that so many years of > > > verbal and physical > > > abuse from his brother has caused major emotional > > > scars, so every day > > > is less of a struggle but it is still a struggle. > > > Wow I'm going to > > > stop b4 I write a whole book. For those who pray > > > please remember my > > > sons when you think of them. > > > Thanks, > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 12, 2008 Report Share Posted February 12, 2008 One of my nephews is bi-polar and his behavior has really been a strain on his paternal family --- he lives in the same community in CA as do several of his aunts, his father is there and I think perhaps several other aunts. From what I have heard, they have pretty much thrown up their hands -- his dad does see him on a fairly regular basis, but he only sees his mother (my sister) for brief visits or if something major has happened. He has been hospitalized several times, was on pharmacueticals, but because my sister is a nurse, she has done " research " and thinks, since one of her friends is also bi-polar, vitamins and supplements are better (I think she doesn't care for the side effects.) But I also had a college room mate whose husband was diagnosed after more than a year of being in several top hospitals in a large midwestern city. While I was still in Chicago, I could call and if he answered, I knew instantly if his meds were off one way or another. He was fortunate in that his family had some connections with the medical community in that area (his father was a doctor), and he did get a job working in a clinic where a doctor could see when he needed help. We lived close to them for 3 years and spent quite a bit of time with them during those years; but about 6 months after we moved, I experienced a major depression that landed me in the hospital for two weeks (that was the 2nd time in about 2 years --- thank God none since). When I got out of the hospital I just stopped writing or calling as watching what their lives were like was more than I could handle at the time. Over Christmas, we were back there and I grabbed the phone book and wrote the phone number down. The next day I called --- for the first time in 16 years! Her husband was finally forced to take medical leave and then over the course of several years, he must have developed some other serious illnesses as she said he had died last summer of colon cancer. From what I gathered during the conversation, the daughter is not bi-polar but the son is. But it seemed as if he was perhaps not as seriously ill as his father had been --- of course, both the son and daughter knew they could have the gene! But I do know how difficult it is for any family who has a family member who is bi-polar. (not sure that being considered as having severe, recurring major depression is any easier, but at least I take my meds, see a therapist 2 times a month and also a shrink who I can't wait to say " Good by! " (I have already checked and my old doc is still taking new patients so when we move, I will be seeing him again --- we understand each other so much better as we grew up in the same state, and our schools played each other in basketball games and we both knew the name of all the players who were hot when we were in high school --- Jerry Sloan being the major one!) I didn't mean to digress from the subject of children and parents of children with bi-polar disorder, but I can certainly relate to how tough and hard the disease is ON THE ENTIRE FAMILY -- which includes, grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. Would be great if they could some day isolate the gene that causes it but then, that could be bad also as I think some wellknown people over the years have been bi-polar -- particularly several very well known artists. > > > > Wow, , you just discribed my grandson. I went to visit my > son and his family this last Oct. My 10 yr old grandson was totally > out of control most of the time. He is dx'd the same as your oldest > son. Whenever he totally lost control, I went to the room I was > staying. It was so hard to see all this. He is on meds but both my > son and daughter-in-law feel that they aren't working. He picks on > his 2 younger siblings but leaves the older ones alone. He even > threw something and hit his mother in the head. My son and daugher- > in-law don't know what to do. He swearing is beyond. I know this is > off topic. I just wanted to respond to your post and let you know > that I totally know what you have gone thru. > > > > D in CA > > > > > > > > --------------------------------- > > Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Yahoo! > Search. > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 13, 2008 Report Share Posted February 13, 2008 You know if you show documentation of your son's aspergers it is illegal to evict you. My Daughter behavior has improved since starting therapy and since shes on adderall because she has ADHD too. She still has alot of anger, but it is a little less lately --- mlwpdb wrote: > My son is 10years old and also has Aspergers > Syndrome. He has > recently put a hole in my bathroom wall and kicked > the bottom of my > storm door out. I have it taped up with packing > tape. He also broke > my bathroom medicine cabinent mirror with his fists. > We are close to > being evicted again from this apartment. We were > kicked out three > other apartments since December 2006. He is a great > source of my > stress, as well as his bio dad, which is another > story for another > day. > > > NW Ohio > > > > > > > I will be typing about them alot sense they > are > > > usually the major > > > source of my stress/ pain. My oldest just turned > 18 > > > on Sunday but he > > > moved out last April. I could no longer > emotionally > > > or physically > > > handle him in my house. He has been in therapy > sense > > > age 4, the > > > soonest they would take him. We went through > alot of > > > Dr.s and > > > therapists and dx and meds. His current official > > > diagnosis Bipolar 1 > > > mixed, I thought I knew what bipolar was until > we > > > got this diagnosis > > > explained, and it really explained to me why my > son > > > was who he was. > > > Bipolar 1 mixed in a nutshell means that his > > > depression and his mania > > > were cycling so fast that it's like they are > both > > > running at the same > > > time. He is so angry most of the time, he sucks > the > > > life out of most > > > rooms. Before he left he had put huge holes in > my > > > walls that are > > > still there, I can't afford to fix them. The > verbal > > > abuse was the > > > worst of it mostly for my younger son,constantly > > > being screamed at > > > just for being within his sight. My younger son > and > > > I stayed shut in > > > my bedroom most of the time. The final straw was > the > > > fighting with > > > his then pregnant girlfriend. He is now doing a > > > little better he is > > > living in an indepentent living program, > working, > > > and somewhat > > > helping to take care of my beautiful 8 month old > > > Grandaughter. I know > > > this sounds awful but his Birthday felt like a > huge > > > weight lifted > > > from my sholders. I never have to let him come > home. > > > I love him with all my heart, but he's so much > > > easier to deal with > > > from a distance. My younger son is dxed w/ > bipolar > > > but his is > > > textbook, the problem is that so many years of > > > verbal and physical > > > abuse from his brother has caused major > emotional > > > scars, so every day > > > is less of a struggle but it is still a > struggle. > > > Wow I'm going to > > > stop b4 I write a whole book. For those who pray > > > please remember my > > > sons when you think of them. > > > Thanks, > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 13, 2008 Report Share Posted February 13, 2008 , I have the Board of MRDD and a Mental Health agency working with us, but it doesn't seem like enough. Now, I have even more stress on me. My son's bio dad and stepmother are trying to take full custody away from me, saying I am a bad mother and other horrible things. I am so upset, that I had to take an Ativan, which didn't help my anxiety and panic attack I had last night, and still feeling the effects of this morning. My body aches even more when he hits, kicks, and bites me. I already hurt all the time, but when he hurts me, I ache even worse. He has already been arrested for domestic violence, an inpatient twice at a local hospital, in a place called Rescue Crisis 6 times and a place called Kobacker Center once, all since October 2006. Thanks for your understanding. , NW Ohio > > > > > > > I will be typing about them alot sense they are > > > > usually the major > > > > source of my stress/ pain. My oldest just turned 18 > > > > on Sunday but he > > > > moved out last April. I could no longer emotionally > > > > or physically > > > > handle him in my house. He has been in therapy sense > > > > age 4, the > > > > soonest they would take him. We went through alot of > > > > Dr.s and > > > > therapists and dx and meds. His current official > > > > diagnosis Bipolar 1 > > > > mixed, I thought I knew what bipolar was until we > > > > got this diagnosis > > > > explained, and it really explained to me why my son > > > > was who he was. > > > > Bipolar 1 mixed in a nutshell means that his > > > > depression and his mania > > > > were cycling so fast that it's like they are both > > > > running at the same > > > > time. He is so angry most of the time, he sucks the > > > > life out of most > > > > rooms. Before he left he had put huge holes in my > > > > walls that are > > > > still there, I can't afford to fix them. The verbal > > > > abuse was the > > > > worst of it mostly for my younger son,constantly > > > > being screamed at > > > > just for being within his sight. My younger son and > > > > I stayed shut in > > > > my bedroom most of the time. The final straw was the > > > > fighting with > > > > his then pregnant girlfriend. He is now doing a > > > > little better he is > > > > living in an indepentent living program, working, > > > > and somewhat > > > > helping to take care of my beautiful 8 month old > > > > Grandaughter. I know > > > > this sounds awful but his Birthday felt like a huge > > > > weight lifted > > > > from my sholders. I never have to let him come home. > > > > I love him with all my heart, but he's so much > > > > easier to deal with > > > > from a distance. My younger son is dxed w/ bipolar > > > > but his is > > > > textbook, the problem is that so many years of > > > > verbal and physical > > > > abuse from his brother has caused major emotional > > > > scars, so every day > > > > is less of a struggle but it is still a struggle. > > > > Wow I'm going to > > > > stop b4 I write a whole book. For those who pray > > > > please remember my > > > > sons when you think of them. > > > > Thanks, > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 13, 2008 Report Share Posted February 13, 2008 Thank you so much, . Both my nephew and niece have bipolar disorder. My niece lives with me. She is pretty good when taking her meds and my number 1 rule is that she has to take her meds in order to live here. She is 27 and was homeless when I took her in. Had many different roomates, jobs etc. before living here. She also has to keep a job. She has had 4 different jobs since comming here to live. She has been here 1 yr. this month. I told her that if she loses this job that she is out. Been at this job 5 months now. I think this disorder runs in families and I have alot of mental disorders running around in my family. I have suffered with depression most of my adult life. Both of my daughters suffer from depression also. We are all on anti-depressants for it. Anyway, I have empathy for anyone suffering from bipolar disorder and their families. I will tell my son and daughter-in-law what you said and thank you. D in CA --------------------------------- Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Yahoo! Search. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 13, 2008 Report Share Posted February 13, 2008 I hope that you have contacted legal aide it sounds like you are in need of some serious legal help.Has your son's father taken any active roll in your son's life until now? I'm just asking because maybe there is an easier way to deal with this. If you could get him to become active in your childs therapy, they even have counselors to help parents that aren't together learn to help thier child together. I know from personal experience how impossible getting along can seem and how much stress it causes to know what has been said and done and what you've gone through. But it would be so much easier on you if you had someone that could give you some free time away from your son, and as he get's older he may be way too much for you to handle. I hope that you have some support for you, you always need someone you can lean on, we all do. If there is anything I can do just let me know, I'm down here in Cincinnati, it's not real close but it's not Texas....lol God bless and keep you > > > > > > > > > I will be typing about them alot sense they are > > > > > usually the major > > > > > source of my stress/ pain. My oldest just turned 18 > > > > > on Sunday but he > > > > > moved out last April. I could no longer emotionally > > > > > or physically > > > > > handle him in my house. He has been in therapy sense > > > > > age 4, the > > > > > soonest they would take him. We went through alot of > > > > > Dr.s and > > > > > therapists and dx and meds. His current official > > > > > diagnosis Bipolar 1 > > > > > mixed, I thought I knew what bipolar was until we > > > > > got this diagnosis > > > > > explained, and it really explained to me why my son > > > > > was who he was. > > > > > Bipolar 1 mixed in a nutshell means that his > > > > > depression and his mania > > > > > were cycling so fast that it's like they are both > > > > > running at the same > > > > > time. He is so angry most of the time, he sucks the > > > > > life out of most > > > > > rooms. Before he left he had put huge holes in my > > > > > walls that are > > > > > still there, I can't afford to fix them. The verbal > > > > > abuse was the > > > > > worst of it mostly for my younger son,constantly > > > > > being screamed at > > > > > just for being within his sight. My younger son and > > > > > I stayed shut in > > > > > my bedroom most of the time. The final straw was the > > > > > fighting with > > > > > his then pregnant girlfriend. He is now doing a > > > > > little better he is > > > > > living in an indepentent living program, working, > > > > > and somewhat > > > > > helping to take care of my beautiful 8 month old > > > > > Grandaughter. I know > > > > > this sounds awful but his Birthday felt like a huge > > > > > weight lifted > > > > > from my sholders. I never have to let him come home. > > > > > I love him with all my heart, but he's so much > > > > > easier to deal with > > > > > from a distance. My younger son is dxed w/ bipolar > > > > > but his is > > > > > textbook, the problem is that so many years of > > > > > verbal and physical > > > > > abuse from his brother has caused major emotional > > > > > scars, so every day > > > > > is less of a struggle but it is still a struggle. > > > > > Wow I'm going to > > > > > stop b4 I write a whole book. For those who pray > > > > > please remember my > > > > > sons when you think of them. > > > > > Thanks, > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 14, 2008 Report Share Posted February 14, 2008 Mrlissa, My sister gave me her business email adress for you rennerkiml@.... She also said to give this phone number but it is easier to get a hold of her by email. The phone number is . I hope she can give you some help or some suggestions to help with his behaviors since this is what she specializes in. You can tell her that you goy the info from her sister Judy. Good luck' I'll be praying for you. JudyMer ---- mlwpdb wrote: > , > > I have the Board of MRDD and a Mental Health agency working with us, > but it doesn't seem like enough. Now, I have even more stress on > me. My son's bio dad and stepmother are trying to take full custody > away from me, saying I am a bad mother and other horrible things. I > am so upset, that I had to take an Ativan, which didn't help my > anxiety and panic attack I had last night, and still feeling the > effects of this morning. > > My body aches even more when he hits, kicks, and bites me. I already > hurt all the time, but when he hurts me, I ache even worse. He has > already been arrested for domestic violence, an inpatient twice at a > local hospital, in a place called Rescue Crisis 6 times and a place > called Kobacker Center once, all since October 2006. > > Thanks for your understanding. > > , NW Ohio > > > > > > > > > > > I will be typing about them alot sense they are > > > > > usually the major > > > > > source of my stress/ pain. My oldest just turned 18 > > > > > on Sunday but he > > > > > moved out last April. I could no longer emotionally > > > > > or physically > > > > > handle him in my house. He has been in therapy sense > > > > > age 4, the > > > > > soonest they would take him. We went through alot of > > > > > Dr.s and > > > > > therapists and dx and meds. His current official > > > > > diagnosis Bipolar 1 > > > > > mixed, I thought I knew what bipolar was until we > > > > > got this diagnosis > > > > > explained, and it really explained to me why my son > > > > > was who he was. > > > > > Bipolar 1 mixed in a nutshell means that his > > > > > depression and his mania > > > > > were cycling so fast that it's like they are both > > > > > running at the same > > > > > time. He is so angry most of the time, he sucks the > > > > > life out of most > > > > > rooms. Before he left he had put huge holes in my > > > > > walls that are > > > > > still there, I can't afford to fix them. The verbal > > > > > abuse was the > > > > > worst of it mostly for my younger son,constantly > > > > > being screamed at > > > > > just for being within his sight. My younger son and > > > > > I stayed shut in > > > > > my bedroom most of the time. The final straw was the > > > > > fighting with > > > > > his then pregnant girlfriend. He is now doing a > > > > > little better he is > > > > > living in an indepentent living program, working, > > > > > and somewhat > > > > > helping to take care of my beautiful 8 month old > > > > > Grandaughter. I know > > > > > this sounds awful but his Birthday felt like a huge > > > > > weight lifted > > > > > from my sholders. I never have to let him come home. > > > > > I love him with all my heart, but he's so much > > > > > easier to deal with > > > > > from a distance. My younger son is dxed w/ bipolar > > > > > but his is > > > > > textbook, the problem is that so many years of > > > > > verbal and physical > > > > > abuse from his brother has caused major emotional > > > > > scars, so every day > > > > > is less of a struggle but it is still a struggle. > > > > > Wow I'm going to > > > > > stop b4 I write a whole book. For those who pray > > > > > please remember my > > > > > sons when you think of them. > > > > > Thanks, > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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