Re: My Sons--

[Guest guest]

My goodness what you have been through. I can't imagine. Of course I am 43 and

just beginning to raise my kids. (they both came along late in life)... 5 and

10 years old. Right now I have a beautiful daughter at the age of 10 who has

already hit puberty. (scary). She actually started puberty at 9 years old. I

am hoping she does not get wild the next couple of years. Right now she is just

a sweet 10 year old in the body of a 14 or 15 year old.

My little boy (5) is in special ed. We did not really know he needed it until

he got to kindergarten. It is ok though. I don't mind. He is a precious

child.

I guess what I am trying to say is that sometimes we just don't know what our

kids are going to do or how they will turn out. We will always love them of

course. But it does not always make them great kids even with the best

parenting. (of course your son is a probably a good person inside but has to be

on the right medications to really thrive).

I understand your older son has some real health issues with the bipolar. I

know that must be so tough. It would be very difficult to live with someone

with that kind of anger. I feel for him though and hope someday he gets the

help he really needs. Above all, it hurts as a parent I am sure because you

will ALWAYS love your babies..... no matter what. And they are always your

babies.... even grown. We look back to the time they were infants and we took

care of their every need and how precious they were. That never goes away.

Well, I am rambling. I have to go to work.

hugs,

Debra V.

wrote:

I will be typing about them alot sense they are usually the major

source of my stress/ pain. My oldest just turned 18 on Sunday but he

moved out last April. I could no longer emotionally or physically

handle him in my house. He has been in therapy sense age 4, the

soonest they would take him. We went through alot of Dr.s and

therapists and dx and meds. His current official diagnosis Bipolar 1

mixed, I thought I knew what bipolar was until we got this diagnosis

explained, and it really explained to me why my son was who he was.

Bipolar 1 mixed in a nutshell means that his depression and his mania

were cycling so fast that it's like they are both running at the same

time. He is so angry most of the time, he sucks the life out of most

rooms. Before he left he had put huge holes in my walls that are

still there, I can't afford to fix them. The verbal abuse was the

worst of it mostly for my younger son,constantly being screamed at

just for being within his sight. My younger son and I stayed shut in

my bedroom most of the time. The final straw was the fighting with

his then pregnant girlfriend. He is now doing a little better he is

living in an indepentent living program, working, and somewhat

helping to take care of my beautiful 8 month old Grandaughter. I know

this sounds awful but his Birthday felt like a huge weight lifted

from my sholders. I never have to let him come home.

I love him with all my heart, but he's so much easier to deal with

from a distance. My younger son is dxed w/ bipolar but his is

textbook, the problem is that so many years of verbal and physical

abuse from his brother has caused major emotional scars, so every day

is less of a struggle but it is still a struggle. Wow I'm going to

stop b4 I write a whole book. For those who pray please remember my

sons when you think of them.

Thanks,

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