I'm only one person!

[Guest guest]

Hopefully anyone out there can help me figure this one out-

How can I: 1.take care of my special needs son(taking to school 30 min from me,

take to therapies, monitor his diet, all his programs)2. take care of his 2

typical siblings ( homework, take to activities,sports, dancing school,etc)3.

trying to hold onto a job as I need to work 4.doing this as a single mom with

very little help from any family 5. try to have my own life 6. last but not

least, try not to loose my mind!!

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Debbie

[Guest guest]

It's a tough load....implement all the organizational skills you have to make it easier for yourself. Plus the most important thing here (which a lot of moms overlook) is looking after yourself. I know you don't have a lot of time nor money for personal luxuries, but you can go to the healthfood store and get yourself a good all in one liquid mineral, vitamin, wholefood nutrient supplement that has everything in it. Take this everyday....plus they sell herbal iron which is also helpful (Floridix or nature's way). And if you drink those Emergence C packets of electrolytes you can throw into a water bottle...a packet in your purse, they give you a boost in the moment when you are running on empty. Strong bodies keep the mind able to deal "mind over matter" which is what you need to juggle all that you have on your plate....it's a lot....just keep yourself strong because you have no choice but to cope.

Hopefully anyone out there can help me figure this one out-How can I: 1.take care of my special needs son(taking to school 30 min from me, take to therapies, monitor his diet, all his programs)2. take care of his 2 typical siblings ( homework, take to activities,sports, dancing school,etc)3. trying to hold onto a job as I need to work 4.doing this as a single mom with very little help from any family 5. try to have my own life 6. last but not least, try not to loose my mind!!Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.Debbie

[Guest guest]

Look into respite care too. Most are low price and depending on your annual income it may even be free. We use Broward Children's Center, but there are others out there. It's very important to take care of yourself and allow for 'ME' time.Good luck!AMSent from my iPad

It's a tough load....implement all the organizational skills you have to make it easier for yourself. Plus the most important thing here (which a lot of moms overlook) is looking after yourself. I know you don't have a lot of time nor money for personal luxuries, but you can go to the healthfood store and get yourself a good all in one liquid mineral, vitamin, wholefood nutrient supplement that has everything in it. Take this everyday....plus they sell herbal iron which is also helpful (Floridix or nature's way). And if you drink those Emergence C packets of electrolytes you can throw into a water bottle...a packet in your purse, they give you a boost in the moment when you are running on empty. Strong bodies keep the mind able to deal "mind over matter" which is what you need to juggle all that you have on your plate....it's a lot....just keep yourself strong because you have no choice but to cope.

Hopefully anyone out there can help me figure this one out-How can I: 1.take care of my special needs son(taking to school 30 min from me, take to therapies, monitor his diet, all his programs)2. take care of his 2 typical siblings ( homework, take to activities,sports, dancing school,etc)3. trying to hold onto a job as I need to work 4.doing this as a single mom with very little help from any family 5. try to have my own life 6. last but not least, try not to loose my mind!!Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.Debbie

[Guest guest]

My suggestion would be to take care of 1,2, and 3 and deal with 4 and 5 at a later date. I lost my mind few years ago and I see it as just one less thing I have to keep track of!

I'm only one person!

Hopefully anyone out there can help me figure this one out-

How can I: 1.take care of my special needs son(taking to school 30 min from me, take to therapies, monitor his diet, all his programs)2. take care of his 2 typical siblings ( homework, take to activities,sports, dancing school,etc)3. trying to hold onto a job as I need to work 4.doing this as a single mom with very little help from any family 5. try to have my own life 6. last but not least, try not to loose my mind!!

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Debbie

[Guest guest]

I think it must be very hard to raise three kids. My advice to you is to cut out everything that you dont have to do. All afternoon activities have to end if you are about to break down. Let the children stay home and focus on their homework.

H.T.

To: sList Sent: Saturday, September 10, 2011 4:30 PMSubject: Re: I'm only one person!

My suggestion would be to take care of 1,2, and 3 and deal with 4 and 5 at a later date. I lost my mind few years ago and I see it as just one less thing I have to keep track of!

I'm only one person!

Hopefully anyone out there can help me figure this one out-How can I: 1.take care of my special needs son(taking to school 30 min from me, take to therapies, monitor his diet, all his programs)2. take care of his 2 typical siblings ( homework, take to activities,sports, dancing school,etc)3. trying to hold onto a job as I need to work 4.doing this as a single mom with very little help from any family 5. try to have my own life 6. last but not least, try not to loose my mind!!Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.Debbie

[Guest guest]

Start with taking a breath…it is all so overwhelming.  There are no easy answers for us and many of us can appreciate the struggle you are facing as we ourselves are trying to get through it too.  I find that if I can break things down and look at them in smaller pieces, then it doesn’t feel so overwhelming.  Don’t think of how to do it all, instead, take one thing at a time, day by day or hour by hour if needed.  Look to create any supports you can.  If your family can’t be there for whatever reason, then create your own family of support.  There are a few moms groups that have formed from people in this group – I am sure they will chime in and share their info – Joy, Truly, etc.  I also run a support group in Royal Palm Beach and there is a SPEC support group in Broward.  Use these resources.  The other thing and important thing is to really try and find time for yourself.  Because if you lose yourself – everything goes.  We need to be good to ourselves.  I would start by calling the Arc who can provide respite care to little to no cost.  Not sure where you live but in Palm Beach, the number is   .  Hang in there…l From: sList [mailto:sList ] On Behalf Of Sent: Saturday, September 10, 2011 4:31 PMTo: sList Subject: Re: I'm only one person! My suggestion would be to take care of 1,2, and 3 and deal with 4 and 5 at a later date. I lost my mind few years ago and I see it as just one less thing I have to keep track of! I'm only one person! Hopefully anyone out there can help me figure this one out-How can I: 1.take care of my special needs son(taking to school 30 min from me, take to therapies, monitor his diet, all his programs)2. take care of his 2 typical siblings ( homework, take to activities,sports, dancing school,etc)3. trying to hold onto a job as I need to work 4.doing this as a single mom with very little help from any family 5. try to have my own life 6. last but not least, try not to loose my mind!!Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.DebbieNo virus found in this message.Checked by AVG - www.avg.comVersion: 10.0.1392 / Virus Database: 1520/3890 - Release Date: 09/11/11

[Guest guest]

good luck. you have your hands FULL AmyTo: sList Sent: Saturday, September 10, 2011 4:30 PMSubject: Re: I'm only one person!

My suggestion would be to take care of 1,2, and 3 and deal with 4 and 5 at a later date. I lost my mind few years ago and I see it as just one less thing I have to keep track of!

I'm only one person!

Hopefully anyone out there can help me figure this one out-

How can I: 1.take care of my special needs son(taking to school 30 min from me, take to therapies, monitor his diet, all his programs)2. take care of his 2 typical siblings ( homework, take to activities,sports, dancing school,etc)3. trying to hold onto a job as I need to work 4.doing this as a single mom with very little help from any family 5. try to have my own life 6. last but not least, try not to loose my mind!!

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Debbie

[Guest guest]

The keys you need are:

Organizing: 1. Make a weekly schedule which includes your appointments, therapy

times, kids activities, grocery shopping, meal menus, cooking times, and even

personal time. There is something about seeing your week all laid out in front

of you that makes you feel in control. Make your schedule on the computer and

print it out and put it up in your kitchen or somewhere you can easily see it.

You can color code it as well.

2. Make a master grocery list. Then just check things off as you run out so when

it's time to go to the store, your list is ready.

3. Put together about 10 different dinner meals. Select at the beginning of the

week which ones you are going to make that week. Always cook enough for 2 nights

so you are never cooking 2 nights in a row. If your family, doesn't like

leftovers, too bad! They'll get used to it

Prioritizing: Make a list of all you do. Include all the mundane stuff. Next to

each item, give them a number according to how important they are to do. The

scale is 1-5 For instance, making dinner would be a 1, but making the bed would

be a 5. Try to stop doing most of your #5s and even #4s. Or delegate them to

your kids. See below. This was the hardest hinge for me to learn as I am a

perfectionist. But I did train myself to stop doing all the little stuff all the

time.

Delegate is a must. You should begin to train your children to do things around

the house. They need a chore chart. Let them earn privileges. This includes the

one with special needs. Especially that one! I can thank my husband for getting

the ball rolling on that one when the kids were young He insisted that ALL our

kids had to help. And today my son with autism does all the laundry, empties the

dishwashers, and makes all the beds. Everyday!

Centralizing: Eventually you should look to moving most of your life into a

smaller radius. This can't be done over night, but you should begin to think

about it. Your work, your children's schools, therapy, activities should all

focus on as small a radius as possible. There really is no better way then to

centralize your life in order to be able to manage all you have to do over the

long haul. I think this is how I always managed it. When I moved and tried to

keep working in my old neighborhood, things became way

too difficult. So I went back to centralizing.

There are many more strategies and skills for making this all work, but here are

some to get you started.

I think all of us on the list totally understand and relate to your life. Good

luck and know there will be days that you feel in control and other days that

you feel like you can't get it together in any way, shape or form. On those

days, just give it up and look forward to bedtime. I always plan something nice

for myself at bedtime, be it reading a book, playing on my iPad or just watching

15 minutes of a show I recorded.

>

> Hopefully anyone out there can help me figure this one out-

> How can I: 1.take care of my special needs son(taking to school 30 min from

me, take to therapies, monitor his diet, all his programs)2. take care of his 2

typical siblings ( homework, take to activities,sports, dancing school,etc)3.

trying to hold onto a job as I need to work 4.doing this as a single mom with

very little help from any family 5. try to have my own life 6. last but not

least, try not to loose my mind!!

> Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

>

> Debbie

>