RE: Was Z and energy zappers-Melody and Teri

[Guest guest]

I completely understand that. I really don't want a wide circle of close friend

to go and do things with. I prefer to be home anyway mostly. Partly because I

am always tired and don't feel good. I would much rather sit home on my

comfortable couch and watch t.v. than to go anywhere. (unless it is out to eat

once in a while with my family).

It seems it hurts me emotionally for so many people not to believe and

understand me. I am talking about people who I consider to be friends with.

They can't believe me, so I have underlying anger issues with them even though I

like them very much.

Rambling again,

love,

Debra V.

Teri Wallner wrote:

Melody,

I agree. I've made some email friends too, that give me great comfort and

hopefully in return they get the same from me. Like this group - I am so

grateful that I found you all to talk to - people who understand what fibro

is like. It's definitely a Godsend. Granted I don't always respond to

everyone's posts, but I do read them all and have learned a lot. But there

are days when I just can't bring myself to responding because of not feeling

well or simply don't have the time because of work - but that's okay. Here

you don't get judged which is another reason I love this group.

My kids have asked me why I don't go out and socialize with women or why my

hubby and I don't go out with other couples like we used to. Some of it is

because of my health issues - some is because of exactly what are talking

about - negative and toxic people - and some of it is because I actually

like my time alone ( although like you, I have my husband too). I find

there is a big difference in being alone and being lonely. I cherish my

alone time. I think people think I'm weird when I say that, but so what.

It's not that we never go anywhere but I've found it's getting harder and

harder to go out and about - I usually pay for it and I just prefer to be

home. That trip I took to Texas with my daughter just about killed me.

Teri (central WI)

Re: Was Z and energy zappers

Teri, that is the perfect term for them - they are toxic. I tend to run

the other away when around too many toxic people or even in yahoo groups

that are toxic.

It took me many years to learn what true friendship was about as well.

I was always the 'be there for others' friend, but when my time came, I

was left alone. Well not completely alone, I had hubby, but all of my

friends ditched me.

In the last six years I've met the most wonderful email friends who have

stood by me no matter what. But my best 'in real life' friend is still

to this day not good at being there for me, only expects me to be there

for her. She tries though, she just is who she is. My best friend

lives in IL and I'm in TX, we've never met in person yet I can go to her

with any problem and she'll always be there for me without asking for

anything in return. I hope to get to meet her someday.

Melody

>

> I agree with the energy zappers and the negative people - I tend to call

> them toxic people because they can just totally suck the life and breathe

> out of you. Many times in my life I've had to cut off relationships with

> people because of this. It took me a long time to realize that not having

> them around me and not having to deal with them made life a lot easier.

> Sounds kind of mean, but they were the type of " friends " that were always

> the ones in need or never even heard or acknowledged what I was going

> through or even talking about, so it was better to not be around them.

> Usually they would get angry that I wouldn't be there for them to feed off

> of anymore - but I knew it was necessary (took 49 years to learn that).

>

>

>

> Teri (central Wisconsin)

>