This is really hard to not get depressed.

[Guest guest]

I haven't been able to have sex for months. We tried once and we

stopped. I'm depressed today. We were regularly active and one of the

best parts of my marriage was intimacy and sex. I had a few days of

feeling better and had some hopes of improvement but here it is just

as crappy as ever. I do ok as long as I distract myself and not think

about the fact that I'm not right any more or that I can't have sexual

release and I am frustrated. I did self satisfy once externally and I

paid for it with increased pain for a few days. I just got over my

period and am back to being super dry, itchy and sore, for some reason

especially sore in the clitoral and just above that area. I've been

trying to be positive abut just can't stop crying today. I don't want

to be me today. We're supposed to send a contract back on a house this

afternoon I really wanted but I am thinking today what's the point I'm

not even sure how my marriage will last like this or how long it will

be till he wants someone who can have sex. He's in the mood all the

time and even though I am I can't.

[Guest guest]

It's totally normal to feel the way you do right now. There were so many times I seriously wondered if I would ever be able to be with my husband again. We actually were just talking about that last night. It's hard enough that you are hurting physically, but the emotional pain can really pull you down. We do NOT take our marriage or our intimacy for granted! I know you have tried premarin, but have you tried anything else? Have you been tested for infections, just to rule those out? If you tell us what the biggest city is closest to you, we might can come up with a practitioner. I have had vulvar pain for many years. I finally got fed up with everything and made a promise to myself that I'd do everything I possibly could within a one year time frame to get help and

answers. It's been hard, it's hurt financially, but I'm so

glad I pushed and went where I felt was best. I have been to four different states this past year...and more docs in my state than I can mention. I'm finally getting more 'underlying' reasons for all this pain crap! Do not allow yourself to believe that you will not get better. Refuse to believe it! I know that is hard when you are hurting or when you try to be with your husband and it feels like you hit a brick wall, but you CAN get better. Please make sure you all talk, and communicate how you feel. I told my husband many times that I wanted to be with him and how much it hurt me that I couldn't. I think it's important that they still know they are desirable, and that it has nothing to do with them. I knew he was suffering, too, but thankfully, he always thought my pain and my need to be pain free was more important than his sexual needs. My hubby and I are going to put a bid

on a house tonight, too. I hope you move forward with your plans - if it is something you really want to do.Don't give up. Cry when you need to, but keep pressing forward. It's hard, but it will render results. Let us know how we can help....Chelle--- On Tue, 12/9/08, her70cuda wroteI haven't been able to have sex for months. We tried once and we stopped. I'm depressed today. We were regularly active and one of the best parts of my marriage was intimacy and sex. I had a few days of feeling better and had some hopes of improvement but here it is just as crappy as ever. I do ok as long as I distract myself and not think about the fact that I'm not right any more or that I can't have sexual release and I am frustrated. I

did self satisfy once externally and I paid for it with increased pain for a few days. I just got over my period and am back to being super dry, itchy and sore, for some reason especially sore in the clitoral and just above that area. I've been trying to be positive abut just can't stop crying today. I don't want to be me today. We're supposed to send a contract back on a house this afternoon I really wanted but I am thinking today what's the point I'm not even sure how my marriage will last like this or how long it will be till he wants someone who can have sex. He's in the mood all the time and even though I am I can't. ------------------------------------

[Guest guest]

I can totally relate with you! I was in the same situation you are in now about 1 1/2 years ago. I was diagnosed with VVS and unable to have intercourse. Within 6 mos or so I was well enough to have sex but still have the raw, itch feelings afterwards, but it was worth to satifiy my husband and myself. I was able to have sex again and was able to conceive my daughter. Who is now only 7 weeks old. There is hope so please dont give up. We are here for you.

Subject: This is really hard to not get depressed.To: VulvarDisorders Date: Tuesday, December 9, 2008, 11:43 AM

I haven't been able to have sex for months. We tried once and we stopped. I'm depressed today. We were regularly active and one of the best parts of my marriage was intimacy and sex. I had a few days of feeling better and had some hopes of improvement but here it is just as crappy as ever. I do ok as long as I distract myself and not think about the fact that I'm not right any more or that I can't have sexual release and I am frustrated. I did self satisfy once externally and I paid for it with increased pain for a few days. I just got over my period and am back to being super dry, itchy and sore, for some reason especially sore in the clitoral and just above that area. I've been trying to be positive abut just can't stop crying today. I don't want to be me today. We're supposed to send a contract back on a house this afternoon I really wanted but I am thinking today what's the point I'm not even

sure how my marriage will last like this or how long it will be till he wants someone who can have sex. He's in the mood all the time and even though I am I can't.

[Guest guest]

Good luck on the house! Prices have been so inflated that things are

finally becoming closer to reasonable again. I hope you get good

news! Let us know.

I haven't tried anything else besides the premarin and emu oil

because I just don't know what to try. The first part of my period

this month I had absolutely no pain actually or itching and then the

5th day came and it got dry and flared right back up again. I'm

trying to get a refarral to a Gyno from Chico who comes around once

a month. I'm in Ca. closest large city though is Reno at about 50

miles away. I made an appt with a female gymo from Truckee but I am

thinking I am going to cancel. I asked the office if any of the

staff was more familiar with or specialized with vulvar pain and she

came back and said they all have about the same opinion. I've been

having second thoughts since because I did see one of their Dr.s and

he's the one who prescribed the Yaz but I'm pretty sure he was

thinking of my other issues bad PMS, heavy bleeding instead of the

vulvar pain with that so I don't want to waste another appt on more

of the same.

>

> It's totally normal to feel the way you do right now.  There were

so many times I seriously wondered if I would ever be able to be

with my husband again.  We actually were just talking about that

last night.  It's hard enough that you are hurting physically, but

the emotional pain can really pull you down.  We do NOT take our

marriage or our intimacy for granted! 

>

> I know you have tried premarin, but have you tried anything else? 

Have you been tested for infections, just to rule those out?  If you

tell us what the biggest city is closest to you, we might can come

up with a practitioner.  I have had vulvar pain for many years.  I

finally got fed up with everything and made a promise to myself that

I'd do everything I possibly could within a one year time frame to

get help and answers.  It's been hard, it's hurt financially, but

I'm so

> glad I pushed and went where I felt was best.  I have been to

four different states this past year...and more docs in my state

than I can mention.  I'm finally getting more 'underlying' reasons

for all this pain crap! 

>

> Do not allow yourself to believe that you will not get better. 

Refuse to believe it!  I know that is hard when you are hurting or

when you try to be with your husband and it feels like you hit a

brick wall, but you CAN get better.  Please make sure you all talk,

and communicate how you feel.  I told my husband many times that I

wanted to be with him and how much it hurt me that I couldn't.  I

think it's important that they still know they are desirable, and

that it has nothing to do with them.  I knew he was suffering, too,

but thankfully, he always thought my pain and my need to be pain

free was more important than his sexual needs. 

>

> My hubby and I are going to put a bid on a house tonight, too.   I

hope you move forward with your plans - if it is something you

really want to do.

>

> Don't give up.  Cry when you need to, but keep pressing forward. 

It's hard, but it will render results. 

>

> Let us know how we can help....

> Chelle

>

>

[Guest guest]

Congrats on the new baby!! I'm glad to hear you are doing better! It

helps to hear believe me because sometimes it feels like this long

road of yuck ahead.

>

> From: her70cuda

> Subject: This is really hard to not get depressed.

> To: VulvarDisorders

> Date: Tuesday, December 9, 2008, 11:43 AM

>

>

>

>

>

>

>>>

[Guest guest]

oh i SO know how you feel...I got vulvodynia three or four months

into a relationship with the guy I'm still with now (that was a few

years ago.) I am very lucky that he has stuck by me and been

supportive, but it is so incredibly emotional and difficult for us.

I get realy jealous around other couples our age (I'm 22 and hes 25)

and I get so angry that girls my age are able to have sex and I'm

not. It's heartbreaking, I know.

Have you tried the low oxalate diet? I've been on it 7 weeks and had

80% improvement. Still haven't tried sex (boyfriend is too afraid to

hurt me) but wow what a difference. I would highly recommend it.

feel free to email me anytime

Selena

>

> From: her70cuda

> Subject: This is really hard to not get depressed.

> To: VulvarDisorders

> Date: Tuesday, December 9, 2008, 11:43 AM

>

>

>

>

>

>

> I haven't been able to have sex for months. We tried once and we

> stopped. I'm depressed today. We were regularly active and one of

the

> best parts of my marriage was intimacy and sex. I had a few days of

> feeling better and had some hopes of improvement but here it is

just

> as crappy as ever. I do ok as long as I distract myself and not

think

> about the fact that I'm not right any more or that I can't have

sexual

> release and I am frustrated. I did self satisfy once externally and

I

> paid for it with increased pain for a few days. I just got over my

> period and am back to being super dry, itchy and sore, for some

reason

> especially sore in the clitoral and just above that area. I've been

> trying to be positive abut just can't stop crying today. I don't

want

> to be me today. We're supposed to send a contract back on a house

this

> afternoon I really wanted but I am thinking today what's the point

I'm

> not even sure how my marriage will last like this or how long it

will

> be till he wants someone who can have sex. He's in the mood all the

> time and even though I am I can't.

>

[Guest guest]

I'm not sure if the diet would help me or not. I don't have any pain

with or after urination more than any other time so I wasn't sure if

that could even be an issue. I'm so sorry to hear you are going

through this and being so young. I hope so much you get lasting

relief.

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