Marti (was Re: IBS/MNCJL)

February 20, 2008

Marti,

I know that I need this group; some of the stuff I am able to use,

other stuff I cannot (like most), but it does help to relieve some

stress because I hear from DH " yeah I know, yeah you told me " and it

gets frustrating. I don't hear that here.

As far as finances, in reality, most folks DO live on a fixed income.

They just don't see it like that because they get up, go to work, get

a check, get a raise/bonus/promotion if warranted, etc. But the money

coming in is basically the same - they have to budget. Not telling

your $ what to do can cause all sorts of stress because if you don't

tell your $ what it is going to do (in the form of a budget), well,

it'll tell YOU what to do.....lol....as I have found out the hard

way. Right now, my DH and I are working Dave Ramsey's Total Money

Makeover. Is it fun? No. But.....in a little more than a year (we

started about 3 months before I got sick), we have paid off over $54k

in debt. We are utilizing Angel Food ministries to supplement our

cupboards, since I don't work there is no daycare (yeah, makes for

long tiring days sometimes, but that's why I try to nap) and local

trips around town don't eat my gasoline up.

As far as my meds, I am on over 25 of them at any given time for

hypothyroidism, high blood pressure, anxiety/depression, lower

extremity edema, asthma, COPD, the fibro (of course!), GERD, high

cholesterol, T2 diabetes and my sleep apnea machine, plus hormones

(heavens knows we DON'T want me stopping those.....lolol). My local

pharmacy is family-owned and operated and *if* I had to, I could set

up an account with them. Thankfully, DH is not a sickly so he doesn't

carry the medical and our kids, because they are special needs

adoptions carry medicaid. Otherwise, we couldn't afford it. And there

are months when I wonder just how we do, looking back, truthfully.

Marti, I think you are doing the best you can with the hand you've

been dealt right now. I have a lot of admiration for how you are

dealing with EVERYTHING that is going on in your life. I do

everything I can NOT to stress because it doesn't change the

situation and only gets me " more worked up " in DH's words, but

sometimes it happens. Like you, I feel and get a lot of support here,

even if I don't post often.

And just so you know, I have said a little prayer for you for this

day; I know it won't be an easy one for you and you may have to lie

low for a few days; just keep us posted?

(((Hugs)))

Darlene

> I'm sorry that you think I am STRESED. But I am not.We

live a simpe life are able to pay our finances and get extras. No

reason for me to stress.Yes I have fibro and IBS but stressing out

will not fix it.So why sit back and stress yourself out.I don't see

my doctor ALOT I have my pain pretty much under control with water

areobics and if I cant go somewhere,I just dont.But i dont stress

over it.I have a very supportive and understanding husband.I have not

lost friends or my husband and I dont just SIT at home.I still work

and have coffee time with friends.Some days I go out even if I dont

really feel like it.WHY? Because I refuse to sit here and do NOTHING!

Sorry you feel differently about my life,but your wrong.

>

February 20, 2008

Hi Darlene,

That was a heart felt letter I could tell. I know you mean well with every

word of it. And I appreciate your well wishes for today very much.

From your posts I know you need this group too. I would never say that you

didn't I'm glad you're here and that you get out of it what you need. And yes

it does help me a lot too. It's definitely nice to have a place where people

understand what we are going through.

I don't agree with you about the " fixed income " part though. I'm not saying

there is anything wrong with us having different opinions, we just do. Yes,

while the pay is staying the same and you are receiving the same thing each

month it is fixed. But when you receive a raise, bonus or promotion, as you

said, it changes to another fixed position.

When people use the term " fixed income " they mean an income that doesn't

change. The cost of living continues to go up and their income remains the

same, thus it is going backwards because it is not worth the same today as it

was yesterday. People who are living on a " fixed income " can't anticipate a

" cost of living " raise, or a promotion or a bonus or any change at all, and the

prices of goods and services skyrocket. I think it does people who are living

on a " fixed income " , meaning the above terminology, a disservice to say that

they are living on the same fixed income as someone whose salary can change and

generally, but not always, does, if only a small percentage.

I live on retirement income that never changes and on my savings that goes

down every day, but will end the beginning of 2009. There are no cost of living

raises and no bonuses or promotions. As the cost of living goes up, my income

is worth less.

That is not to say that I don't " tell my money what to do " (never heard it put

that way before). I have always budgeted my money even back to being a teenager

who had an allowance and all through college when I made money working. I only

spent part of what I made and put the rest away.

When my husband went into the Navy during the Viet Nam war I budgeted our

money by using only his and putting the money I earned from being a legal

secretary in savings. After the Navy while he was climbing the corporate

ladder, and he has made it high, and I had my own business, I continued to

budget our money It was a much nicer budget though. So that when we were

divorced in 1996 there was enough in our savings and retirement to split and

both do well.

I continued to work and put away as much as I could until I got too sick to

work. I still had plenty of money to live on from the settlement, because my

money was earning money.

In 2003 my identity was stollen and I was wiped out. I was left with a small

amount of savings they didn't get and my retirement pay. Now I have to budget

my money just to get from one day to the next or there would be nothing to pay

bills with.

I have been wise with my money and luckily am not in any debt, except for my

house (mortgage). So I don't have the stress of bill collectors on my back,

which is an almost overwhelming stress.

It is amazing that you have paid off 54K. You deserve congratulations and I

for one am really proud of you. The plan you are working defnitely is working

well for you. I read that most people are in debt and thank the good Lord that

I am not. I don't know what I would do if I was.

I have a couple of credit cards that I never use, but if an emergency comes

up I will have access to them. Luckily that hasn't happened yet. But it's

comforting to know that if I need a plumber fast of some other service I can pay

them.

My kids have learned well from me and have no debt either, except for some

student loans that are not quite paid off. When they took them out years ago

the plan was for their father to pay them off, but that never happened so they

are stuck with them. I wish I could help them, but unfortunately I am in a

position of not being able to help myself much.

I'm really glad that you have a place to go to supplement your groceries.

That is a big help I'm sure.

Caring for children is really tiring so I'm glad you can sneak in a nap

sometimes. I don't know if I could care for children on a regular basis. I had

one of my grandchildren, Jack 6, over for 4 days, he just left yesterday, and it

was wonderful, but I am in a major flare right now and am coming down with the

fibro flu. The symptoms have already started. But every minute of it was worth

it.

I don't go out of the house much and so, thank goodness, I don't have to worry

about expensive gasoline. I bought a car before my identity was stollen that

uses a lot of gas and now wish I had one of the new ones that use very little or

are a hybrid, but can't do that now. So it's a good thing I guess that I don't

go anywhere, at least because of that.

I don't court stress. But the situations I'm in bring with them a certain

amount of stress. I have good days and bad days, like most people. I wasn't

meaning to say that I spend all of my time being stressed. I was only replying

to , who says she is not stressed. So don't think I am having a bad

time with stress. I have many ways I use to alleviate stress in my life and

generally do pretty good at it, but can't avoid it all.

Thank you again for your caring words. I leave at noon to go to the hospital.

I appreciate your saying a prayer for me. I can use all that I can get.

Take care,

Marti

ddean228 wrote: