Guest guest Posted December 23, 2008 Report Share Posted December 23, 2008 I just found out that my ex-boyfriend is seeing someone else. I am heartbroken. He broke up with me in August. We were together for over two years, and went literally two years straight with no sex. (we are in our late 20s). And he was amazing. He never ONCE made me feel bad about it. He was my main support system, going to dcts appointments, holding me when all I could do was cry cause I was in so much pain. Yeah, our relationship definitely had problems, but when it came to my v problems and my fibromyalgia, he was wonderful. Now all I can think about is him having sex with someone else, and how good it must feel because it has been so long since he has had it. Even typing these words makes me want to throw up. It makes me physically ache to think about that. And then I start thinking that I am going to be alone for a long, long time because who in their right mind would want to be with me when we can't have sex. These thoughts hurt me so much that I literally can't even say them out loud, not even to my best friend, who I tell everything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 23, 2008 Report Share Posted December 23, 2008 Meg, I'm really sorry you're hurting so much, I really am. But you need to realize two things Hon. First, you ARE lovable, whether or not you can have sex. Intimacy doesn't need to include sex. Also, you may be able to have sex in the future, don't give up hope Hon. Second, you said he was your EX boyfriend. He is no longer your boyfriend. You need to put him in the past and move on, obviously he has. I know sometimes it's easier said then done, but take it from someone who's lived twice as long as you have, that you WILL have wonderful intimate relationships in the future with men who will love you for who you are. You are a wonderful young woman who is dealing with a very difficult issue. Not every partner will understand or accept you but the ones who will are well worth waiting for. That's not some cliche line, trust me, it's the truth. Love yourself enough to stop dwelling on him and whatever he's doing and put one foot in front of the other and move forward with your life. Be yourself and you WILL find someone who will love you no matter what. Hang in there sweetie. Hugs- Ivy -- Re: A new kind of pain I just found out that my ex-boyfriend is seeing someone else. I am heartbroken. He broke up with me in August. We were together for over two years, and went literally two years straight with no sex. (we are in our late 20s). And he was amazing. He never ONCE made me feel bad about it. He was my main support system, going to dcts appointments, holding me when all I could do was cry cause I was in so much pain. Yeah, our relationship definitely had problems, but when it came to my v problems and my fibromyalgia, he was wonderful. Now all I can think about is him having sex with someone else, and how good it must feel because it has been so long since he has had it. Even typing these words makes me want to throw up. It makes me physically ache to think about that. And then I start thinking that I am going to be alone for a long, long time because who in their right mind would want to be with me when we can't have sex. These thoughts hurt me so much that I literally can't even say them out loud, not even to my best friend, who I tell everything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 23, 2008 Report Share Posted December 23, 2008 That's terrible! I'm so sorry to hear this. I'm going through something similar too...my relationship ended in July and he has started seeing someone too. We were also together for over 2 years and never had sex (i still have had to have sex, i'm a virgin) and even when i wanted to with him, i'd always be in pain or too frightened because of the pain. He actually hadn't had sex for 2 years or so before he started dating me, so all i can think about as well is the fact that he's finally going to be able to have sex and i was holding him back. So i can definitely empathize, it's a terrible feeling. The thing to remember here though i think is that...even despite having sexual problems, he stayed with you. And if it had been that big of an issue he would not have stayed with you for so long. He willingly chose to be with you and deal with sex not being a factor in the relationship. And if one person was willing to do that, another person will be too. And the person who is worth it, will not focus on the fact that they can't always have sex with you. I know it hurts to think about him having that intimacy with someone else...all i can suggest is to try and not beat yourself up about it. And that you're not alone. *hugs* and that you WILL find someone else. > > I just found out that my ex-boyfriend is seeing someone else.� I am heartbroken.� He broke up with me in August.� We were together for over two years, and went literally two years straight with no sex.� (we are in our late 20s). And he was amazing.� He never ONCE made me feel bad about it.� He was my main support system, going to dcts appointments, holding me when all I could do was cry cause I was in so much pain.� Yeah, our relationship definitely had problems, but when it came to my v problems and my fibromyalgia, he was wonderful.�� Now all I can think about is him having sex with someone else, and how good it must feel because it has been so long since he has had it.� Even typing these words makes me want to throw up.� It makes me physically ache to think about that.� And then I start thinking that I am going to be alone for a long, long time because who in their right mind would want to be with me when we can't have sex.� These > thoughts hurt me so much that I literally can't even say them out loud, not even to my best friend, who I tell everything.� > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 24, 2008 Report Share Posted December 24, 2008 Hey sweetness That is awful! Why did you break up to begin with? ( ahhh nevermind....I leave him in the past and out of this thread .....there must have been something that made you guys break up ...plus your still young your heart WILL TOTALLY RECOVER!! )))))) Im 39 but I remember back in the day I have had a few boyfriends over the years and a few sexual partners as well...(wish I didnt do the sex thing to be honest) as great as it felt at the time and even now I think it made me more vulnerable to numerous vaginal infections as a woman....seriously...at least in my case ....I was squeky clean but guess what ? They werent...and they never would admit it ... Ahhh ...You know I remember how awful I felt after breaking up with each one of the guys I was in a long term relationship at the time (and I didnt have V thorought my 20's ) back then .....(probably 3 of them were long term that I cried or was sad over and worth the tears )and with some I had no remorse...I was glad they were out of my life..WHEW! I guess what Im trying to say is that dont beat yourself over the head over it because if you didnt have V or did you probably would still feel sad...because you spent years with him and you liked or loved each other ...this is natural....especially after 2 years you cant help but think him being intimate with someone right off the bat ....because you couldnt do it ...SO WHAT!!!! Dont worry your pretty little head over him or it... I know its easier said than done but you will see this too shall pass... Please please please dont get down on yourself you have enough to deal with ...breaking up is hard to do ...yes with V or without Vulvodynia ... Precious... You will feel the way you feel but guess what ...??? In time he will be a thing of the past... gigi Subject: Re: A new kind of painTo: VulvarDisorders Date: Tuesday, December 23, 2008, 11:02 PM That's terrible! I'm so sorry to hear this. I'm going throughsomething similar too...my relationship ended in July and he hasstarted seeing someone too. We were also together for over 2 years andnever had sex (i still have had to have sex, i'm a virgin) and evenwhen i wanted to with him, i'd always be in pain or too frightenedbecause of the pain. He actually hadn't had sex for 2 years or sobefore he started dating me, so all i can think about as well is thefact that he's finally going to be able to have sex and i was holdinghim back. So i can definitely empathize, it's a terrible feeling.The thing to remember here though i think is that...even despitehaving sexual problems, he stayed with you. And if it had been thatbig of an issue he would not have stayed with you for so long. Hewillingly chose to be with you and deal with sex not being a factor inthe relationship. And if one person was willing to do that, anotherperson will be too. And the person who is worth it, will not focus onthe fact that they can't always have sex with you. I know it hurts to think about him having that intimacy with someoneelse...all i can suggest is to try and not beat yourself up about it.And that you're not alone. *hugs* and that you WILL find someone else. >> I just found out that my ex-boyfriend is seeing someone else.� I amheartbroken.� He broke up with me in August.� We were together forover two years, and went literally two years straight with no sex.�(we are in our late 20s). And he was amazing.� He never ONCE made mefeel bad about it.� He was my main support system, going to dctsappointments, holding me when all I could do was cry cause I was in somuch pain.� Yeah, our relationship definitely had problems, but whenit came to my v problems and my fibromyalgia, he was wonderful.�� Nowall I can think about is him having sex with someone else, and howgood it must feel because it has been so long since he has had it.�Even typing these words makes me want to throw up.� It makes mephysically ache to think about that.� And then I start thinking that Iam going to be alone for a long, long time because who in their rightmind would want to be with me when we can't have sex.� These> thoughts hurt me so much that I literally can't even say them outloud, not even to my best friend, who I tell everything.�> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 25, 2008 Report Share Posted December 25, 2008 Don't give up, Meg! You can get better and move beyond the pain! You need someone who will stick beside of you no matter what. There 'are' men out there who will! Journal your feelings right now...just to get them out...but also remind yourself that you are lovable and keep telling yourself that you will get better! hang in there...Chelle I just found out that my ex-boyfriend is seeing someone else. I am heartbroken. He broke up with me in August. We were together for over two years, and went literally two years straight with no sex. (we are in our late 20s). And he was amazing. He never ONCE made me feel bad about it. He was my main support system, going to dcts appointments, holding me when all I could do was cry cause I was in so much pain. Yeah, our relationship definitely had problems, but when it came to my v problems and my fibromyalgia, he was wonderful. Now all I can think about is him having sex with someone else, and how good it must feel because it has been so long since he has had it. Even typing these words makes me want to throw up. It makes me physically ache to think about that. And then I start thinking that I am going to be alone for a long, long time because who in their right mind would want to be with me when we can't have sex. These thoughts hurt me so much that I literally can't even say them out loud, not even to my best friend, who I tell everything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 26, 2008 Report Share Posted December 26, 2008 Meg: I know how you feel. Hold on, Meg. Everything is going to be okay. Better to loose him now than loose him after trwenty years of marriage. There IS someone for you. It will unfold when you least expect it. You are going thru it. You have to go thru it to get to the other side of it. We are here for you. Love, ML When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider:God has made the one as well as the other. Therefore, a mancannot discover anything about his future. http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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