off-topic update from Jim & Maureen White

[Guest guest]

Hello,

group. As promised, here's our overdue ( & off topic) update.

Our daughter Jillian gave birth to Leia Marie back on 11/29/07 at

4:04pm, another precipitous delivery. This makes 3 blessings in less than

3 years' time. Unbelievably, her labor progressed, in 20-25 minutes, what

would take lesser women to accomplish in 5 hours... 1 difficult push, but there

ya go. The Ob-gyn broke Jillian's water & left to pick up her kids

from school; the nurse called her back, & she almost didn't make it in time

to catch Leia!

7 lbs, 15 ozs, 20.5 " long, 10 fingers, 10 toes, cute as a bug's

ear. I was banded as the " father " (still wearing it, as it reminds

me to pray, every time I see it, for Jillian & our 3 sweet grandchildren).

Because... sadly, on 10/28/07, her husband of 3 & 1/2 years blindsided our

daughter with the announcement " I love you as the mother of my children,

but I'm no longer " in love " with you. " He denied (when she

asked) there being another woman; his boss/the pastor asked the same

question... was given the same answer no (turns out, though, he'd met a

not-yet-divorced mother of 3 on myspace.com).

Jim & I finally got a phone call from Jillian as to all she knew at

the time -- including the fact that our SIL quit his (church!) job (thus

rendering Jillian & her unborn baby without medical insurance), but she

called us only upon her kind, wise, elderly pastor giving her the " sweetheart,

either you call your parents, or I'll need to call them for you "

ultimatum.

SIL said he was going to go off for a while, to " clear his head... "

& since he had some Disney Dollar credits from a Disney-sponsored credit

card, he " might as well have fun doing it. " Jim implored him

not to go through with his plans to skip town... all to no avail. Days

later, we saw in credit card activity that he had (among other things) rented a

double stroller at the Magic

Kingdom. As he

skipped town without the 2 boys, this pretty much confirmed suspicions.

He's blown through about $10K adulterous debt in one months' time, all

while not supporting Jillian, nor the kids. After nearly a week's delay, including

3 consecutive days of supposed missed flights, etcetera, he did arrive back in AZ

hours after the baby was born, entering her hospital room at 1:30am, when it

had been pre-agreed everyone needed their rest. Lots of blame shifting &

agitation on his part... very upset he had to work his way past security, upset

all the nurses " looked " at him, upset Jillian didn't call him when

she went into labor, so he'd be able to return back to AZ in time (after he

directed her NOT to have the baby until December 1st, so she could qualify for AZ's

equivalent of Medicare?)

The Ob-Gyn directed me to never leave Jillian's side for a moment, so the

evening of Leia's birth, I feigned sleep, face to the wall, as he whispered his

admission of loving another woman & his intent to relocate to Florida. 12 hours later,

early in the afternoon, he returned again, & in the presence of Jim, his 2

sons, myself & our other daughter, he twice admitted adultery (got him to

admit it a 2nd time so Jillian would actually hear him).

He denies any abandonment, & I cannot fathom how. In FL, he spent

$1400 on a diamond purchase at a diamond store, & you can bet your sweet

bippy it isn’t a gift for our daughter. He claims to love his

children, but that does not compute -- when you love your children, aren’t

you willing to work on the marriage, “if only for the sake of the kids”?

You don't give them the legacy of a broken home; you don't DO what he has

done to his wife & his children/the family. That is not love.

To claim to love -- that is totally incongruent. Love is a verb.

Love is action; just look at his actions!

Of course, the story gets worse, but I should wrap this up.

Suffice to say a bad country western song pales in comparison to THIS particular

roller coaster. Jim & I had no choice but to eventually to return to

CA - with Jillian & her 3 children with us - as Jim had a colonoscopy scheduled

( & me a sinusoscopy); fortunately, SIL agreed that Jillian convalescing

with us is a great idea (yeah, as it frees him to run up further horrific debt in

FL).

And just yesterday, we lost any element of surprise when SIL called, saying

" hey, there's something here from your lawyer -- want me to send it to

you? " Holy cow. MASSIVE CLERICAL ERROR BREACH on the part of

our daughter's lawyer/his office staff, who inadvertently sent stuff to AZ,

instead of CA. They won't take ownership of the mistake, no whoops, no

apology, no nothing.

We’ve lost any advantage of any element of surprise. We

don't even know if he illegally “availed” himself to the confidential

contents of the envelope. We have to assume that he did. I doubt

they will be able to unload their house in the terrible market in that part of

AZ.

*Sigh* Sometimes, you sleep at night & (sometimes) experience

a nightmare. The thing is, you wake up & console yourself... it's

okay, it was only a bad dream. We're livin' the (bad) dream, but there's

no waking up.

Not yet. God hasn't carried us through. Yet. But it's

akin to dogpaddling in quicksand. But there are moments of respite &

laughter, because often, the kids are pure joy. It's also horribly

exhausting, as anyone could imagine. God gives grace for the moment, as

we go to Him in prayer.

During the legal proceedings, which could be lengthy, as Jillian &

the children must be residents of AZ (who has legal jurisdiction over the

children), there may be massive chunks of time where I’ll be out there

with her. Jim & I agree it’s what needs to be done. I’ll

do my best to stay updated in this group, albeit more than likely I’ll be

faced with the necessity of (re)assuming lurker status.

Those of you who pray, please, pray for Jillian & the children, their

safety, their health, anything & everything. She is a model of

strength & grace, taking it day by day (more like moment by moment),

depending solely on God. God’s been good (He always is), but this

is all sooooooooo hard.

Thank you for listening. And for your prayers.

Maureen & Jim White - no longer empty nesters!

(Jim: UC & elevated LFTs '84; PSC '96; LRLTx # 36 on 12/7/01 at USC

in CA; donor son doing well; post-tx incisional hernia surgical repair

1/03; multiple post-tx skin cancer issues presenting 18 months out; sporadic

post-tx UC issues -- which means Jim has dermatology appts every 90 days &

undergoes colonoscopy every 24 weeks; in a new learning curve for possible

future colectomy?); one-time ecstatic empty nesters & delighted doters to

grandsons Stryder & Indiana... who are now making room in their home for

daughter Jillian, her boys, ages 2+ & 1+, and a 3-week newborn daughter!)

[Guest guest]

> Suffice to say a bad country western song pales in comparison to THIS

> particular roller coaster.

My goodness Maureen and Jim, I agree with the above statement!!!!

Have a lovely time with the extra special guests staying at your place,

especially over the Christmas time.

Best wishes from the bottom of the world in New Zealand.

[Guest guest]

Maureen,

I will be praying for you, Jim, Jillian, and the grand kids. Have the best Christmas you can.

Ian

Hello, group. As promised, here's our overdue ( & off topic) update.

Our daughter Jillian gave birth to Leia Marie back on 11/29/07 at 4:04pm, another precipitous delivery. This makes 3 blessings in less than 3 years' time. Unbelievably, her labor progressed, in 20-25 minutes, what would take lesser women to accomplish in 5 hours... 1 difficult push, but there ya go. The Ob-gyn broke Jillian's water & left to pick up her kids from school; the nurse called her back, & she almost didn't make it in time to catch Leia!

7 lbs, 15 ozs, 20.5 " long, 10 fingers, 10 toes, cute as a bug's ear. I was banded as the " father " (still wearing it, as it reminds me to pray, every time I see it, for Jillian & our 3 sweet grandchildren). Because... sadly, on 10/28/07, her husband of 3 & 1/2 years blindsided our daughter with the announcement " I love you as the mother of my children, but I'm no longer " in love " with you. " He denied (when she asked) there being another woman; his boss/the pastor asked the same question... was given the same answer no (turns out, though, he'd met a not-yet-divorced mother of 3 on myspace.com).

Jim & I finally got a phone call from Jillian as to all she knew at the time -- including the fact that our SIL quit his (church!) job (thus rendering Jillian & her unborn baby without medical insurance), but she called us only upon her kind, wise, elderly pastor giving her the " sweetheart, either you call your parents, or I'll need to call them for you " ultimatum.

SIL said he was going to go off for a while, to " clear his head... " & since he had some Disney Dollar credits from a Disney-sponsored credit card, he " might as well have fun doing it. " Jim implored him not to go through with his plans to skip town... all to no avail. Days later, we saw in credit card activity that he had (among other things) rented a double stroller at the Magic Kingdom. As he skipped town without the 2 boys, this pretty much confirmed suspicions.

He's blown through about $10K adulterous debt in one months' time, all while not supporting Jillian, nor the kids. After nearly a week's delay, including 3 consecutive days of supposed missed flights, etcetera, he did arrive back in AZ hours after the baby was born, entering her hospital room at 1:30am, when it had been pre-agreed everyone needed their rest. Lots of blame shifting & agitation on his part... very upset he had to work his way past security, upset all the nurses " looked " at him, upset Jillian didn't call him when she went into labor, so he'd be able to return back to AZ in time (after he directed her NOT to have the baby until December 1st, so she could qualify for AZ's equivalent of Medicare?)

The Ob-Gyn directed me to never leave Jillian's side for a moment, so the evening of Leia's birth, I feigned sleep, face to the wall, as he whispered his admission of loving another woman & his intent to relocate to Florida. 12 hours later, early in the afternoon, he returned again, & in the presence of Jim, his 2 sons, myself & our other daughter, he twice admitted adultery (got him to admit it a 2nd time so Jillian would actually hear him).

He denies any abandonment, & I cannot fathom how. In FL, he spent $1400 on a diamond purchase at a diamond store, & you can bet your sweet bippy it isn't a gift for our daughter. He claims to love his children, but that does not compute -- when you love your children, aren't you willing to work on the marriage, "if only for the sake of the kids"? You don't give them the legacy of a broken home; you don't DO what he has done to his wife & his children/the family. That is not love. To claim to love -- that is totally incongruent. Love is a verb. Love is action; just look at his actions!

Of course, the story gets worse, but I should wrap this up. Suffice to say a bad country western song pales in comparison to THIS particular roller coaster. Jim & I had no choice but to eventually to return to CA - with Jillian & her 3 children with us - as Jim had a colonoscopy scheduled ( & me a sinusoscopy); fortunately, SIL agreed that Jillian convalescing with us is a great idea (yeah, as it frees him to run up further horrific debt in FL).

And just yesterday, we lost any element of surprise when SIL called, saying " hey, there's something here from your lawyer -- want me to send it to you? " Holy cow. MASSIVE CLERICAL ERROR BREACH on the part of our daughter's lawyer/his office staff, who inadvertently sent stuff to AZ, instead of CA. They won't take ownership of the mistake, no whoops, no apology, no nothing.

We've lost any advantage of any element of surprise. We don't even know if he illegally "availed" himself to the confidential contents of the envelope. We have to assume that he did. I doubt they will be able to unload their house in the terrible market in that part of AZ.

*Sigh* Sometimes, you sleep at night & (sometimes) experience a nightmare. The thing is, you wake up & console yourself... it's okay, it was only a bad dream. We're livin' the (bad) dream, but there's no waking up.

Not yet. God hasn't carried us through. Yet. But it's akin to dogpaddling in quicksand. But there are moments of respite & laughter, because often, the kids are pure joy. It's also horribly exhausting, as anyone could imagine. God gives grace for the moment, as we go to Him in prayer.

During the legal proceedings, which could be lengthy, as Jillian & the children must be residents of AZ (who has legal jurisdiction over the children), there may be massive chunks of time where I'll be out there with her. Jim & I agree it's what needs to be done. I'll do my best to stay updated in this group, albeit more than likely I'll be faced with the necessity of (re)assuming lurker status.

Those of you who pray, please, pray for Jillian & the children, their safety, their health, anything & everything. She is a model of strength & grace, taking it day by day (more like moment by moment), depending solely on God. God's been good (He always is), but this is all sooooooooo hard.

Thank you for listening. And for your prayers.

Maureen & Jim White - no longer empty nesters!

(Jim: UC & elevated LFTs '84; PSC '96; LRLTx # 36 on 12/7/01 at USC in CA; donor son doing well; post-tx incisional hernia surgical repair 1/03; multiple post-tx skin cancer issues presenting 18 months out; sporadic post-tx UC issues -- which means Jim has dermatology appts every 90 days & undergoes colonoscopy every 24 weeks; in a new learning curve for possible future colectomy?); one-time ecstatic empty nesters & delighted doters to grandsons Stryder & Indiana... who are now making room in their home for daughter Jillian, her boys, ages 2+ & 1+, and a 3-week newborn daughter!)

-- Ian Cribb P.Eng.