Re: Thanks...and worried about DH (Major religion ment)

[Guest guest]

, I don't think God controls our lives. He is there, but He gives us

direction. Honey, we don't always take it.

Things sometimes just happen because they happen. Maybe his brothers wife isn't

strong enough to get away from her situation, or maybe God just hasn't shown

himself yet to dh's brother in a way that he can see. We can't blame God for

that.

I wish I could say something to help your dh. It seems horrible, but I do

believe, very firmly, that things come to a conclusion in their own way & time.

With all my heart I believe that we do get what we are supposed to receive, in

the long run, and in God's good time. It isn't necessarily what we want,

goodness knows I am proof of that, but we do get it one way or another.

Please tell you dh to keep the faith & I hope he sees that maybe his sister in

law is really the one in need right now. Perhaps you dh can focus himself on her

for awhile & see how to help her through this crisis. Maybe that is God's

answer for right now, that she needs you both.

hugs and the best of luck,

lori

[Guest guest]

Oh ...I'm so sorry! I wish there were something I could say in this

situation. Being that I have very different views on religion, I don't feel

I should be making too many comments. However, I will say this:

I think after a loss of any type, it's fairly normal for people to question

their faith and the role God plays in their lives. In one respect, it's

almost comforting to be able to point the finger at someone and be able to

place the blame somewhere.

I also have had the thoughts about if God was so good and loving, why would

he let this happen to me and allow people who have no business having

children to keep having them. And I came to believe that God didn't have

anything to do with my loss. He's like an architect. If a building burns

down, you don't blame the architect. He just designed the darn thing. It's

up to the tenants of the building to make it work and make it work properly.

And when something breaks, they dont' call the architect to fix it, they

call a repair service, and hopefully, they've called a good one who will

stand by their work. Does that make sense?

I forgot my original point....but anyhow, that's how I look at things. How

that could possibly be helpful, I don't know. Just another view I suppose!

~Kim

_______________________________________________________

http://inbox.excite.com

[Guest guest]

J,

My husband went throught the same thing, he just didn't want to go to church

anymore, etc...

I left him be for awhile and continued to go by myself . I kept asking him

to come and reminding him how good we always feel after we've gone to

church. Eventually, he decided to go again...

The way I look at things is that God did NOT take my baby or cause my ep.

Just like He does NOT let children get abused or cancer... Man has free will

and does things that are evil and for the ep and cancer, it just happens and

God IS there to help me get through it....

I hope this helped some and I didn't offend...

lisa r

[Guest guest]

wow lori,

you put into words much better than I did as to what I was thinking and

feeling...

lisa r

[Guest guest]

J,

We went through the same emotions after both ep's. I cannot say that the

feeling does not come back every now and then. I did alot of reading on that

same question for this last ep. I have found that God does not have a master

plan for us. There is no divine plan. Our religion is here for us to use in

hard times. That is what God gives us. This belief has made it a little

easier for me to handle some of my emotions. Just my opinion. I did find it

hard to go to church for a couple of weeks.

Thanks,

Wen

[Guest guest]

J,

I wish I really had an answer that would help your dh. I know when

something as horrible as losing one's baby can really make you

questions everything...it is just so hard to really understand why

this happened to us. You want to blame someone but there really

isn't anyone you can really " blame. " It sounds like your dh is

really greiving and is not sure how to handle it yet. (which is

normal) I know it must be killing you to see him like this but

hopefully in time he will begin to realize that it wasn't really God

that did this to us.....it took me a long time to believe that. I

hope you and your dh will both be ok in time.

> I just want to say thanks to everyone who responded to my panicky e-

mail

> about the pain on my side. It has since gone away, and the

spotting has

> stopped...man, I hate spotting...

>

> My DH has been really having a hard time lately. He has been a

faithful

> Christian all of his life...been a missionary, and served

faithfully in all

> of his Church assignments.

>

> Recently he has expressed that he no longer thinks that it helps to

pray,

> and that everything is just a " roll of the dice " ...he wonder if a

loving

> Father in Heaven would allow this to happen to a child He loves,

and who

> loves him, and has served him all his life.

>

> He doesn't want to attend Church, and we recently found out that

his brother

> (an abuser) and recently married wife are expecting their 2nd

child...and

> that he beat her up at 5 months pregnant.

>

> He is furious (he, along with all of the other men in the family

wanted to

> take this man out behind the barn and beat the tar out of him)...he

doesn't

> understand why God would give this couple a child, and not us, who

are

> happily married and stable.

>

> I don't know what to say to him...I am scared because he isn't

acting like

> the same man I know, at least not lately.

>

> Does anyone have any ideas??

>

> J