I need .......? Just ranting I guess

[Guest guest]

My son called this morning, he's out of food and asked for a ride to

the store. I told him sure no problem, then he went on to tell me about

a new home based business he was going to get into. I stayed quiet,

because I know that most of these are scams, but I also know that you

can't tell a teenager anything and you can tell my son even less than

that. He takes my silence as disaproval, so I tell him he needs to make

his own decisions, that maybe it will work for him. He says, " well

you'll see when I'm making thousands of dollars a week and you're still

sitting on your lazy butt(not the word he used) feeling stupid " . at

this point I hung up. This is the problem I have been dealing with for

years except now (thank God) I can hang up, instead of having to pack

up my younger son and leaving my house for fear of what he would do

next. The trouble is I have that awful nagging mothering gene that

still wants to take him to the darn grocery store. That gene fights

with the common sense gene that says, " What, are you kidding? Let the

brat walk " . So I'm doing battle with myself again, maybe I should go

stare at the holes in my walls for a while, normally I would call one

of the members of the team of therapists that worked with him, but he's

18 and he fired them.

[Guest guest]

Bless your heart . That is tough. I unfortunately agree that those home

based busines schemes are scams. I don't believe a damn thing I hear or see

about them. They all promise to make us rich overnight. Well, just a part of

life. I guess we all have to learn from our own mistakes.

I remember reading your post about him being so violent. I know you still

love him. I would have that same mothering gene that would want to " fix " it all

for him. But maybe by not " fixing " it he will learn how to do it on his own.

I wish he did not talk so hateful to you. You are not lazy and just sitting

around for the hell of it. He obviously is too into himself to see the problems

you have.

Well, vent anytime here. Sometimes we gotta bite the bullet when it comes to

helping our family when they are making poor decisions.

love and hugs,

Debra V.

wrote:

My son called this morning, he's out of food and asked for a ride to

the store. I told him sure no problem, then he went on to tell me about

a new home based business he was going to get into. I stayed quiet,

because I know that most of these are scams, but I also know that you

can't tell a teenager anything and you can tell my son even less than

that. He takes my silence as disaproval, so I tell him he needs to make

his own decisions, that maybe it will work for him. He says, " well

you'll see when I'm making thousands of dollars a week and you're still

sitting on your lazy butt(not the word he used) feeling stupid " . at

this point I hung up. This is the problem I have been dealing with for

years except now (thank God) I can hang up, instead of having to pack

up my younger son and leaving my house for fear of what he would do

next. The trouble is I have that awful nagging mothering gene that

still wants to take him to the darn grocery store. That gene fights

with the common sense gene that says, " What, are you kidding? Let the

brat walk " . So I'm doing battle with myself again, maybe I should go

stare at the holes in my walls for a while, normally I would call one

of the members of the team of therapists that worked with him, but he's

18 and he fired them.

---------------------------------

Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.

[Guest guest]

I am a single mon who raised 3 boys and it was not a easy ride but I did learn

this. If you love your son, turn off your phone, do not reply, give him a

chance to grow up and fend for himself. I sometimes think this is the most

precious gift we can give our kids. I was told to wrap my son in a fluffy blue

blanket and hand him to God. I was done and now it was his turn and God's

turn.It was really hard in the beginning but today I have some of the finest

sons in the world....when they were younger I wondered which one would go to the

penn but it is not like that today. Love him from a distance and let him grow

up. Believe me, they don't go away....

---------------------------------

Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Yahoo! Search.

[Guest guest]

Thanks Debra, I hope you feel better soon.

> My son called this morning, he's out of food and asked

for a ride to

> the store. I told him sure no problem, then he went on to tell me

about

> a new home based business he was going to get into. I stayed quiet,

> because I know that most of these are scams, but I also know that

you

> can't tell a teenager anything and you can tell my son even less

than

> that. He takes my silence as disaproval, so I tell him he needs to

make

> his own decisions, that maybe it will work for him. He says, " well

> you'll see when I'm making thousands of dollars a week and you're

still

> sitting on your lazy butt(not the word he used) feeling stupid " . at

> this point I hung up. This is the problem I have been dealing with

for

> years except now (thank God) I can hang up, instead of having to

pack

> up my younger son and leaving my house for fear of what he would do

> next. The trouble is I have that awful nagging mothering gene that

> still wants to take him to the darn grocery store. That gene fights

> with the common sense gene that says, " What, are you kidding? Let

the

> brat walk " . So I'm doing battle with myself again, maybe I should

go

> stare at the holes in my walls for a while, normally I would call

one

> of the members of the team of therapists that worked with him, but

he's

> 18 and he fired them.

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.

>

>

[Guest guest]

>

> My son called this morning, he's out of food and asked for a ride to

> the store. I told him sure no problem, then he went on to tell me about

> a new home based business he was going to get into. I stayed quiet,

> because I know that most of these are scams, but I also know that you

> can't tell a teenager anything and you can tell my son even less than

> that. He takes my silence as disaproval, so I tell him he needs to make

> his own decisions, that maybe it will work for him. He says, " well

> you'll see when I'm making thousands of dollars a week and you're still

> sitting on your lazy butt(not the word he used) feeling stupid " . at

> this point I hung up. This is the problem I have been dealing with for

> years except now (thank God) I can hang up, instead of having to pack

> up my younger son and leaving my house for fear of what he would do

> next. The trouble is I have that awful nagging mothering gene that

> still wants to take him to the darn grocery store. That gene fights

> with the common sense gene that says, " What, are you kidding? Let the

> brat walk " . So I'm doing battle with myself again, maybe I should go

> stare at the holes in my walls for a while, normally I would call one

> of the members of the team of therapists that worked with him, but he's

> 18 and he fired them.

>

I feel your pain my hubby got into the " HOME BASED BUSINESS and LOST

over $2,ooo in this scam!!!! good luck LeAnne

[Guest guest]

Oh , I feel so badly for you.

Being a mother, as lots of us are here, I know what you are talking about when

it comes to wanting to do for our children. I have been in a position similar

to yours. From 1996 to 2001 and then again from 2003 to 2007 my daughter said

the most horrible things to me and about me to anyone who would listen. She was

quite a bit older then your son (23 in 1996 and 30 in 2003) so I couldn't even

blame it on her being a teenager. She was as mean as anyone can be. She told

me that I was to blame for her suicide attempt when she was a senior in high

school (has since recanted). She was not there for me at all the first time I

had cancer. I had Leukemia and didn't know if I would live and did months of

chemo treatments twice in two years, the last one experimental. She had nothing

to do with me except to call and torment me about what a bad mother I was and

had been. (Now she says I am the greatest mother in the world. Seems that she

goes from one extreme to the other.

Maybe bi-polar?) I know I can't expect her to be any particular way. Even

though she is being soooooo nice now I know that anything can set off another

bout of her hating me and just live from day to day with her. I just try to

live in the moment.

I know that you aren't having any good moments and that he has been this way

and punched those holes you are looking at in the walls. And now he's fired his

therapists. It must be so hard not to take him where he needs to go, naturally

it had to be food. But he is abusive to you and you just can't let him get away

with that. You can take him somewhere or listen to him on the phone if he ever

comes to terms with what is wrong with him and does something about it. With no

therapists working with him, he is obviously not any where near that point and

thank goodness you can hang up on him instead of watching and listening to him

be abusive.

You were very brave not to take him to the store. It's the only way you can

be. You're being a good mother. You are setting limits. It must be so hard,

but you are doing it.

I'm so proud of you.

Blessed be,

Marti

wrote:

My son called this morning, he's out of food and asked for a ride to

the store. I told him sure no problem, then he went on to tell me about

a new home based business he was going to get into. I stayed quiet,

because I know that most of these are scams, but I also know that you

can't tell a teenager anything and you can tell my son even less than

that. He takes my silence as disaproval, so I tell him he needs to make

his own decisions, that maybe it will work for him. He says, " well

you'll see when I'm making thousands of dollars a week and you're still

sitting on your lazy butt(not the word he used) feeling stupid " . at

this point I hung up. This is the problem I have been dealing with for

years except now (thank God) I can hang up, instead of having to pack

up my younger son and leaving my house for fear of what he would do

next. The trouble is I have that awful nagging mothering gene that

still wants to take him to the darn grocery store. That gene fights

with the common sense gene that says, " What, are you kidding? Let the

brat walk " . So I'm doing battle with myself again, maybe I should go

stare at the holes in my walls for a while, normally I would call one

of the members of the team of therapists that worked with him, but he's

18 and he fired them.

---------------------------------

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

[Guest guest]

Marti,I know we barely know each other, but I absolutely adore you.

You seem to always know exactly what I'm going through and how I feel

about it. So you know what I'm going to say now? Thank you dear

friend.

> My son called this morning, he's out of food and asked

for a ride to

> the store. I told him sure no problem, then he went on to tell me

about

> a new home based business he was going to get into. I stayed quiet,

> because I know that most of these are scams, but I also know that

you

> can't tell a teenager anything and you can tell my son even less

than

> that. He takes my silence as disaproval, so I tell him he needs to

make

> his own decisions, that maybe it will work for him. He says, " well

> you'll see when I'm making thousands of dollars a week and you're

still

> sitting on your lazy butt(not the word he used) feeling stupid " . at

> this point I hung up. This is the problem I have been dealing with

for

> years except now (thank God) I can hang up, instead of having to

pack

> up my younger son and leaving my house for fear of what he would do

> next. The trouble is I have that awful nagging mothering gene that

> still wants to take him to the darn grocery store. That gene fights

> with the common sense gene that says, " What, are you kidding? Let

the

> brat walk " . So I'm doing battle with myself again, maybe I should

go

> stare at the holes in my walls for a while, normally I would call

one

> of the members of the team of therapists that worked with him, but

he's

> 18 and he fired them.

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile.

Try it now.

>

>