sad, crying, angry, confused... (OT)

[Guest guest]

I don't want to work, even if it's still 30 minutes left of the day. As the

subject says, I am sad, crying, angry and confused. At 3 pm I have to go to the

employment agency and ask them what the h... they are doing.

The reason? Well, how could I explain this? I thought I could practise 6

months at the translation bureau. My contract ends Feb 29th and everyone,

including me, wants to write a new contract for the two last months. BUT, today

I wrote the employmeny agency and asked for the exact day when I have to quit.

The answer: March 14th! Which would mean just over 4 months of practise.

No one has ever told me, which I do think they should have done, that I am

only allowed to practise for a TOTAL of 12 months. So in this they have included

6 months at the library, about 2 months at the place where we were looking for

jobs and now around 4 months of translating. I mean, shouldn't they tell me the

first day that I can only be 12 months total in practising?

And what am I supposed to do now? Be at home until I find a job? I suppose I

have to go to boring courses how to look for jobs. I hate those courses. There

are no jobs to look for! And since I am living with my " dear " mum, I only get 9

euros a day for being unemployed. If I had an apartment of my own, I'd get 24

euros a day. But I can't afford to live on my own, not without a job. I don't

have that money! And the bank is probably not going to give me any loan since I

don't have any work and I have about 3000 euros to pay for the study loan.

An other possible outcome of the visit today is that they tell me to go back

to school and get a " proper " profession, like cutting cucumbers, looking after

kids (which I don't like), cut hair or some other low paid, boring professions.

I have struggled 6 and a half year at university to earn an MA in Finnish. Is

that not enough? I don't have what it takes to be a doctor or a professor.

I suppose I will have plenty of time to write a book now, to read, cross

stitch, scrapbooking and sleep.

Well, I don't know. It seems like they want you to be so d... happy all the

time, make 10 phone calls a day to employers and tell how wonderful you are. And

when you can't do that (like me) society will just ignore you.

To be successful in this country, you need to be good looking, well educated,

out-going, have a good job, family etc. Okay, I suppose I am well educated, but

I am not out-going, I am not good looking, I don't have a job, I don't have a

family (and don't want any). I don't even have an apartment of my own.

The best thing that could happen is that the translation bureau offers me

part- or half time employment. But I am not getting my hopes up. And I haven't

told my boss yet, because she is home today and tomorrow. So she still thinks I

am going to be here until May.

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