Sick, flaring, trying not to end up back in the hospital

[Guest guest]

Okay, I have thrown down the towel and am admitting I am still sick.

My asthma has flared up (again, actually its the COPD, with chest

tightness) due to a sinus thing that has come on quickly. My damn

pulmonologist WON'T call the PCP back to see if they are on the right

course of treatment (so far - 2 shots of solumedrol, 1 in hip, last

night was via IV plus antibiotics). I'm a little more " open " this

morning, but still wheezy on the exhale. Going back to the hospital

is NOT an option for the simple fact that our local hospital is over-

run with folks with the bad flu and also pneumonia and my immune

system is so suppressed with all the steroids I've been on, plus all

the antibiotics that the PCP doesn't feel it would be a good idea.

Not to mention the fact that the areas where I am getting shots,

etc., all feel like I've been, well " shot " if that makes sense? Very

very tender areas....lol....but outside " our " normal tender spots. So

I'm cranky. But I'm trying not to be because it's not DH's or the

kids' faults I am sick and tired and also that I am sick of being

this way!

I think I hit anger. It's been over a month since my diagnosis and

I've had to deal with the asthma/COPD/hospital thing so really

haven't had time to wrap my head around this whole fibro thing. But

it isn't going to go away. It may or may not progress. Add that to my

other chronic issues and well, I'm not feeling very " up " today. No

sage words of wisdom to come tripping off my fingers.

In fact, I have to go to a vascular doctor today. They are convinced

I have lower extremity blockages which are contributing to the long-

term edema (heart is fine, all checked while in hospital). So I am

looking at a potential hospital procedure. Yippee. Will it help with

my SSD fight? I sure as hell hope so.

As for that, I went out of work initially 12/06 with bronchitis, sent

to pulmonologist 1/07 who has kept me out of work ever since because

we keep coming up with chronic issues (COPD, T2 diabetes, metabolic

disorder, anxiety/depression, glucose intolerance and now fibro). I,

of course, got turned down initially; then my LTD provider handled

the reconsideration thru an attorney and I got turned down again

*but* that was before we had the COPD and fibro and cardiac artery

disease added to my chart (although it's not cardiac, it's likely

pulmonary).

So.....I said all that to say this - is there a snowball's chance

anywhere that I will eventually win? I know I cannot work outside the

home. I get sick too darned often. What employer will want that? I

already have my " Dear " letter from my old employer as my FMLA

ran out a loooong time ago and they decided to abolish my position

completely, so even if I was released to go back to work (highly

unlikely now), I have no job to go back to. I can't go back to

crawlilng around under cars; I can remember getting spasms so bad

they took my breath away where I thought I was going to have to call

someone to come get me. This was before my diagnosis.

I'm sorry this is so long. Today I feel like crying. Yesterday I

turned 45 and looked to the future and know that my lifestyle has

changed, and not necesarily for the better.

Darlene

[Guest guest]

I'm so sorry you are still sick. I will pray for you. You are really caught

between a rock and a hard place. I do believe you will get approved for

disability. Happy birthday.

Jeanne in WI