Re: Ok, I am up and going to read a little...venting first Debra V

[Guest guest]

Just thinking- I am with you on this one. I am sick of being sick, sick of

the med's, that only barely working as more pain arrives in different areas. I

also, though I have not been able to continue with working anymore, get tired at

the thought of going out for something, that seems sooooo long ago fun. I have

done the same thing commited, got tickets, or made plans with my husband, and

the time day comes, and I just can't go. There has been alot of talk on here of

members having a rough time with the bedroom. Well this has been rougher on my

husband then that by far. He want's so bad for me to be able to go places with

him, dinner, a movie, visit family, and I just can't do it now, I hope this will

come back with warmer weather. I can not even think of having to do something

with my hair other than up in a scrunchie, put on a pair of pants and a top,

every ounce of me is drained, I got myself even thinking yesterday, am I really

sick with this diagnoised FM, or

am I stuck in some slump in my head, and I just need to force myself to get up

and move,work, walk, etc., and maybe the pain will go away, maybe my energy will

come back, maybe they are wrong, I don't have it.Maybe I am depressed and don't

know it. Then I know I do have some real symptoms. I don't know I feel like I

am neither here nor there, caught in limbo, this must be the fog everyone talks

about. Hoping u get over your resp. illness, and brighter days.

Sharon

debra van ness wrote:

Hi all,

I still treasure this group. I have been so out of sorts of late. I am sick and

tired of being sick and tired. I guess especially when a respiratory bug comes

along and won't let me sleep the few hours I usually can.

I just sat and cried earlier. I began to think of the changes my life has taken.

I guess it hit me because I remember the days I use to love to go to a club with

my husband about once every couple of weeks and party and have a blast. I was

younger, healthier, and pretty and skinnier. I am not the same person.

wanted to go out tonight which we rarely do anymore. I had a babysitter,

the money, and the time. My body told me " NO " . Use to be you could not have

pried me away from a club if my husband was going. Hell or high water I would go

if I had the means. Not this time, had to say " honey, go alone, I am too sick " .

I even had invited a friend and her b/f to go with us and they were going to go.

As the day went by I realized that my body would rebel bigtime if I chose to go

and do something I use to enjoy and be able to physically do. It is not just the

respiratory crap... it is the beast himself keeping at bay. What this invisible

curse robs us of is a sad state of affairs. I push myself to work because I have

no choice right now. So.... all my energy has to be spent going to work and then

none is left over.

Well, there is my whining. Let me answer at least a few posts here.

I hate and despise this shit and what it has done to me.

love and hugs,

Debra V.

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