TGIF/ Chuckles

[Guest guest]

CHUCKLES FOR MATURE COUPLES AND OTHERS .....

My husband and I divorced over religious differences.

He thought he was God, and I didn't.

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For Sale :

Wedding dress, size 8.

Worn once by mistake.

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The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove

Seemed way too qualified for the job.

" Look Miss, " said the foreman, " have you any actual

Experience in picking lemons? "

" Well, as a matter if fact, yes! " she replied.? " I've

Been divorced three times. "

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I was in the express lane at the store quietly fuming.

Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the

check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries.

Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward

looked into the cart and asked sweetly,

" So which six items would you like to buy? "

Wouldn't it be great if that happened more often?

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The reason congressmen try so hard to get re-elected

Is that they would hate to have to make a

living under the laws they've passed.

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All eyes were on the radiant bride as her father

Escorted her down the aisle.

They reached the altar and the waiting groom;

the bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand.

The guests in the front pews responded with ripples of laughter.

Even the priest smiled broadly. As her father gave her away in marriage,

the bride gave him back his credit card.

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Women and cats will do as they please,

and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

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