Re: Sharon/dates with your hubby Jeanne

[Guest guest]

Your right, diagnoised 2 yrs just about, but had several things medically go

wrong with me starting back in 77, but was young, single, a teenager, and once

out of the hosp. didn't skip a beat, and never felt it getting back to my days

of fun, up nights, dancing, etc. Then once I was married, and started with

family, Bam another hit of medical problems, from the blood clots, to

hemmoraging, viens rupturing blah blah blah. Long story shortened, my raising

the childeren, were many my not having the energy to go to functions, disney

land first time ended up after 5 mins, in a w/c taken to hospital and in there

for a month!, away from home. It stunk your right, luckily there was a father

who was very hands on, and new what he was doing home alone with 1 5yr old and

the boys newborn and 11mo's. My baby was nursing when I was admitted, so he had

to learn the bottle at 2wks old, Anyway after that all these strange things

kept happening that they COULDN'T find anything wrong, so

the yrs of pain, fatigue, no sleep went on and on. I just kept praying, crying,

and hoping, whatever I had that was doing this to me, please let me live to at

least be a body on the couch mother to my childeren until they grew and could be

on there own, as I loved them so much, and did could not see them motherless, I

thought certain I was dying of some awfull illness they weren't finding. Well

here I am they are now 28, 24, 23. I went almost symptom free from 96-until

4yrs ago, How I would love to be with just those minor pains here and there, and

insomnia, as i just would take another shift at work and do overnights since I

could not sleep, now I can't drag myself to a 2 hr shift. I think though back

in 2001, I lost a brother who out of 5 of them and I the only girl was my best

friend, I always called him when I felt down, didn't have an answer etc., he

always fixed things had it right in life as far as making anyone feel good, he

and my g.mother died 15 days apart of

cancer. Then in 2003 I watched took care of my father who was diagnoised with

cancer and only lived 2 mo from being told, so I do belive though I being the

one who did most of the hands on care of them, as I am the healthcare family

member, I did not feel it at the time, but it was stressfull watching them pass

away right in front of me, though I would not have wanted it any other way

either. Now I guess this disease wants to attack again, as I have 2 beautiful

g. children I want to be able to travel across country alot to see, and have fun

with them, though being out there in Oct. I dragged myself to keep up with the

5yr old, and could barely get through a bood reading to him at HS.!, though he

does tend to pick the ones with alot of long pages, and he knows he is doing it,

because he hates to sleep he tells me. Thanks for the hope, as I am hoping

with spring if it every get's here in ME., I will feel better. Take Care

wishing u a lighter day. Sharon

Jeanne and Dave wrote: If I remember

correctly, you are recently diagnosed? So you are still fighting with denial and

acceptance. We go through the grief stages just as if our " old selves " have

died. I know it's very difficult for your husband when he wants to socialize and

you're not up to it. My DH and I might reach this when our girls have both left

home, too. But as for family things, sometimes he and the girls go without me,

even to my parents' house. I have missed Thanksgivings, Christmases, numerous

birthday parties, etc. I often miss evening concerts or other school activities

for my girls. It sucks wide. But feeling guilty over it just makes us feel

worse. Try setting a date with your husband and conserve your energy that day,

by just resting so you are able to do the thing at night. Hope this helps.

Jeanne in WI

Just thinking- I am with you on this one. I am sick of being sick, sick of the

med's, that only barely working as more pain arrives in different areas. I also,

though I have not been able to continue with working anymore, get tired at the

thought of going out for something, that seems sooooo long ago fun. I have done

the same thing commited, got tickets, or made plans with my husband, and the

time day comes, and I just can't go. There has been alot of talk on here of

members having a rough time with the bedroom. Well this has been rougher on my

husband then that by far. He want's so bad for me to be able to go places with

him, dinner, a movie, visit family, and I just can't do it now, I hope this will

come back with warmer weather. I can not even think of having to do something

with my hair other than up in a scrunchie, put on a pair of pants and a top,

every ounce of me is drained, I got myself even thinking yesterday, am I really

sick with this diagnoised FM, or am I

stuck in some slump in my head, and I just need to force myself to get up and

move,work, walk, etc., and maybe the pain will go away, maybe my energy will

come back, maybe they are wrong, I don't have it.Maybe I am depressed and don't

know it. Then I know I do have some real symptoms. I don't know I feel like I am

neither here nor there, caught in limbo, this must be the fog everyone talks

about. Hoping u get over your resp. illness, and brighter days. Sharon