Guest guest Posted November 13, 2003 Report Share Posted November 13, 2003 Joanne... My daughter had the same problems you have when she was that age. She is now in 4th and almost 10 years old. She was miserable because no one liked her and while everyone was going to b-day parties she was rarely invited. Kids would tell her that they hatede her to her face. It really was sad BUT we did make it through!1 She has been strictly mainstream this year with no aide! Actually we don not have any special ed services at this time. This is the first year though! She is head strong and its usually her way or the high way!! She has managed to gain 2 friends thus far! Both of them are passive kids and let make all the decision making! Thats why they are still friends!!! and I spend alot of time talking about what is an acceptable friend and what isn't! However I think sometimes your just talking for no reason because they hear you but they are impulsive and act accordingly to their first thoughts. So if their first thoughts are to take a favorite toy away from a friend they actually have to act on that impulsivity before for their brain can remember that it isn't nice to take toys away. Now this is strictly from my own experiances but its taken me for ever to learn this! my daughter while high functioning can really only process one thought at a time! Another example would be if her ball went into the street! She would want the ball so that would be her first thought(I want the ball), second thought being (get the ball) and so she actually has to go get the ball before she can release the next thought of ....GEE.. I'm suppose to look both ways before crossing or I could get hit! Does this make sense. When she was in second grade she would hit , bite, kick, scream, or even choke her friends to get what she wanted! It has gotten better!!!! Even though she is far from being mature .... she is more mature than at 7 ! She usually also gets along great with younger kids...agin being able to boss them around! She is liked more now than ever before all though she still doesn't have friends. She is trying so hard to make people like her. My suggestion is to just continue to be patient with him, point out the things he is good at that my relate to being a good friend and DRILL, DRILL, DRILL over ways he can be a better friend. Have him give you examples!! Plan play dates at your house so that you can supervise and then when things go bad... pull him aside (without embarrassing him) and politely tell him that is not being a good friend! Then give him examples of how to rectify the situation. lots of praise at this age!!!! Even if the only thing you can praise him for is his smile or what not! My daughter can have one person not like her and she thinks the world hates her!!! I wouldn't be too concerned yet about him being a little depressed! This happens at this age when friendships really start to form...some of it is natural some of it is As. Good luck! Steph > Hello! I could really use some insight right now. My son ph, 8, is > mainstreamed with an aide. He is in second grade (we held him back). He is > starting to say he is a miserable kid, that noone wants to play with him, > everyone makes fun of him, etc. etc. My heart of course is breaking and I'm > trying to figure out what to do. ph is very head-strong and will expect > children to do what he wants, rather than to try to blend in with what the > other children are doing. We are trying to explain that if he wants > friends, he has to do with the other children are doing, that type of thing. > I would love some input here. Did any of you go through this, and did you > find ways to make it better? Did any of you say the price is too high for > mainstreaming and put your child in a different type of school, and if so, > what type of school. Thanks so much for your help! > > JoAnne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 13, 2003 Report Share Posted November 13, 2003 JoAnne, I wish I could say I'd found the ultimate great situation. got through preschool by organizing everybody into making caterpillar camps, which they all found quite cool. After preschool, it was not so cool. He read at recess and at lunchtime, carefully avoiding any contact time with actual people. We finally gave up and sent him to a special ed school. This was a nightmare. So we sent him to another special ed school, which was somewhat better. Finally, we sent him to a public special needs program, which is great. He spent grades 6-9 in this public special needs program, which is for bright kids with learning disabilities. Now (grade 10) he is mostly in mainstream classes, but has one class in the special program. That's what we did. It has worked well for us. Liz JoAnne wrote: > Hello! I could really use some insight right now. My son ph, 8, is > mainstreamed with an aide. He is in second grade (we held him back). He is > starting to say he is a miserable kid, that noone wants to play with him, > everyone makes fun of him, etc. etc. My heart of course is breaking and I'm > trying to figure out what to do. ph is very head-strong and will expect > children to do what he wants, rather than to try to blend in with what the > other children are doing. We are trying to explain that if he wants > friends, he has to do with the other children are doing, that type of thing. > I would love some input here. Did any of you go through this, and did you > find ways to make it better? Did any of you say the price is too high for > mainstreaming and put your child in a different type of school, and if so, > what type of school. Thanks so much for your help! > > JoAnne > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 13, 2003 Report Share Posted November 13, 2003 Hi, my son, 10, is in a regular grade 5 classroom with a teacher's aide for 2.5 hours/day. In a way, you could say he is being mainstreamed, but he isn't able to stay in the class for the full day yet. We've tried a few different things, including homeschooling. In the end, we (being me and the many professionals involved) agreed that socialization was far more important than writing and math. He has been in the classroom, albeit parttime, since last November. I believe we have been very fortunate with his current placement as the school is very willing to help him and to work with me. Joanne, there will be social difficulties. If the aide is worth his/her paycheque, he/she will be helping your son learn social skills, such as asking other kids to play or even how to accept an invitation to play. Does the aide accompany your child during recess or lunch times? Children like ours don't always know how to play with other kids. They don't necessarily know what is appropriate behaviour for various situations and need reminders until they do. Are there behaviour support teachers at your son's school? I don't believe we do our children any favours by segregating them. Earlier this year, I was offered overnight respite care through the Ministry of Children & Families. This would have involved placing my son in a group home about 15 minutes away overnight every now and then. Initially I was ok with this until I learned the group home was primarily for children with Down's Syndrome. As much as I need respite, I would not send my son to such a home, even for one day. Anyways, enough about us. --- JoAnne <jblag@...> wrote: > Hello! I could really use some insight right > now. My son ph, 8, is > mainstreamed with an aide. He is in second > grade (we held him back). He is > starting to say he is a miserable kid, that > noone wants to play with him, > everyone makes fun of him, etc. etc. My heart > of course is breaking and I'm > trying to figure out what to do. ph is > very head-strong and will expect > children to do what he wants, rather than to > try to blend in with what the > other children are doing. We are trying to > explain that if he wants > friends, he has to do with the other children > are doing, that type of thing. > I would love some input here. Did any of you > go through this, and did you > find ways to make it better? Did any of you > say the price is too high for > mainstreaming and put your child in a different > type of school, and if so, > what type of school. Thanks so much for your > help! > > JoAnne > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 14, 2003 Report Share Posted November 14, 2003 thought this was interesting concerning an aid. could help trista with some of these things Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 7, 2006 Report Share Posted May 7, 2006 I agree with on this one ...pre-school hand. for our speech impaired children...mine are apraxic and have no receptive delays (as of yet anyway)and no expressive delays only due to the apraxia...which I think I tried to just explain it and didn't come out right....the SLPs tried to say it better...they have no expressive problem in that they know what they want to say and can answer the question correctly, they could always express their wants if the apraxia was not there or in the way....whereas there are children with expressive disorders that are asked a question and cannot process the info and the answer is way off....as an example, I have a student that does not have apraxia and no artic probs, but ask her a question and the actual processing is the problem....the answer she gives doesn't go with the question...she can express herself with no actual speech problem that you can hear.... ....can a SLP jump in here? Having your child do the pre-school disabled route gives them the opportunity to get the needed services before the whole kindergarten question comes up. In the meantime the parent is getting to know the laws, what is legal and not, what is available and how to go about getting it...kind of like getting your feet wet...... Then when Kindergarten is decided on I believe that as much mainstreaming as possible is the route to go...then again I am a Kindergarten teacher with my own kids that have their different issues so I know that it can be done...some kids will never catch up or be straight A or B kids....even " normal " kids.... I am sure many of us know people that graduated without that 4.0 and are very, very successful...every kid has a strength that can be worked on...it's not going to be language skills for some but they may do one hell of a job in art or math or athletics or listening or computers or dance or signing..keep looking for that strength and desire and work the academics around that...make the teachers, administrators, and everyone else involved with your kid see that strength and go from there...ok..i am stepping down...and going fishing...my kids will be fishermen...LOL.. have a great day....kath nj (and no we don't eat anything caught in NJ--I used to as a kid maybe that is why I glow in the dark and my kids are apraxic, Kathy?) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 7, 2006 Report Share Posted May 7, 2006 Well, let's just say I'm sure it isn't because you didn't talk to your babies enough. We've had quite enough mother-bashing. It's not your fault, the state of the environment in NJ--every kid should be able to go wading in a stream and catch a fish without fear of serious illness and it isn't so any more. Peace, Kathy E. > > ...can a SLP jump in here? .....kath nj (and no we don't eat anything caught in NJ--I used to as a kid maybe that is why I glow in the dark and my kids are apraxic, Kathy?) > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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