Re: Update and Advice- Vicki

[Guest guest]

Vicki, nice to hear from you. Sounds like you two are having a rough time of it

lately. I do hope you two can compromise on a new place to live where the both

of you will be content.

I understand what you mean about the extra pain with working now. It is hard

for the even milder cases of fibro to work with it. It sucks. And sounds like

your poor husband has alot of health issues too. I will say that you are lucky

in that you have each other. Having someone that can be there for you and help

take care of each other is a wonderful thing.

Perhaps you need to really explain to him how much it would hurt to move so far

away from family. Family is important. I have learned that lately from my own

experience with my sister and I being estranged for about 6 months. We are now

talking again and missed each other terribly during that time.

love and hugs,

Debra V.

LV Dutton/ McMahon wrote:

Hi all,

ok I know I've not been around in a while. And I believe many that have read my

emails they find that I am here but not much for answering lately. I haven't

been feeling well and of course now we've found that we need to find a new place

to live. New place being that either we need a place here in Rhinelander or out

of the area. Pat has decided that soon it will be outta the area. We are to move

to another town. Like Beliot. I have no issues moving to another town but come

on so far from my family? I know that we are an hours drive from his mom, and

rarely get the chance to visit. but after she got pissy with us she deserves it

lol... anyway here is an update.

I've been working more, about 32 hours, and with that means that I've been

hurting more. And such that means that I've been whiney lol. Pat hasn't been

working as much as he'd like. He worked maybe 15 hours total in the entire month

of Febuary. We've also found out that cause we didn't pass the inspection for

the apartment that means we have to get a new place. Cause we can't stay here.

We can't aford the 350.00 a month. I mean it's the cheepest in town but Pat

really wants outta this second floor tiny apartment. We are so bad and cramped

in this apartment that half my stuff is still at my parents house.

Pat found out that he's been retainng water, loads of it. About 65lbs extra

of it on his already 450 lb frame and that means that he weighs now about 548.

that is bad. But he's on meds and it's helping.

But anyway the advice part of this is i knw that the part of marrage is go

where the husband goes but I hate the idea of leaving Rhinelander just cause he

can't find work. I mean I have a job but I hate it.

Anyway ther eis me

Vicki/Lady Vader

www.freewebs.com/romanticdreamscometrue

www.freewebs.com/victoriadutton

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[Guest guest]

Vicki, I must say that I really have not appreciated the fact that

since I remarried 22 years ago, of those years, only 3 were spent 3

hours from my family and now that dh is retiring in June, I have lost

all but two of my 7 aunts, only made it to the memorial for one --

and that was my father's sister-in-law, but not any of my mother's 5

sisters. And my favorite cousin's funeral I didn't think about

taking the time to go home for his service --- with hindsight, I know

I could have gone as I had gone to his wife's 16 months prior! But

in someways when you are not present to share the loss with other

members of the family, there is still a disconnect with the loss. I

do have the eulogy my cousin's best friend gave and I am glad I

thought to call and ask if he had a written copy (what lawyer would

not have thought to do that?), I feel I know my cousin's adult life

as I never knew it for most of our adult lives and I don't know if I

would have really heard the words Ed said during the service. And I

really would like to think that someone could give one about me that

would have the mourners laughing one minute and crying the next!

But I have resented being 12 hours away from home now, previous it

was 18 hours and I lost percious time with my family --- same is true

for my husband but I am not sure that it was as hard on him as it has

been for me! But, it still seems to be a world where men, more than

men, make the moves for jobs, and I don't know how some of that can

change --- and with us, it has been because of an increase in salary

for dh, which means better retirement and also benefits when he does

retire in June.

But I had just thought my one aunt would be there when we move " home "

in June --- I had been imagining her leaving our house and

saying " Why on earth do they have THAT?? " (especially one painting)

and also the friend that lost her battle with cancer in February, I

wanted to hear her say just the opposite about the same painting!

Now, I know many of my family and friends well be glad we are back

there and I am looking forward to this move, but in the mean time I

gave up alot to make those moves. And I also read letters my mother

sent me when I should have caught the train and made the six hour

trip to go to family gatherings --- one of her cousins told me a few

years ago, that everytime she drives past my mother's house, she

remembers all of the gatherings at my parents house and how my mother

would always prepare the entire meal!!!

Well, perhaps someday it will be the opposite or at least more

balanced.

> But anyway the advice part of this is i knw that the part of

marrage is go where the husband goes but I hate the idea of leaving

Rhinelander just cause he can't find work. I mean I have a job but I

hate it.

> Anyway ther eis me

>

> Vicki/Lady Vader

> www.freewebs.com/romanticdreamscometrue

> www.freewebs.com/victoriadutton

>

> __________________________________________________________

> Looking for last minute shopping deals?

> Find them fast with Yahoo! Search.

http://tools.search.yahoo.com/newsearch/category.php?category=shopping

>

>