Re: Re: Getting harder and harder _Debra

[Guest guest]

Hey, I just want to say I really feel for you, but I know what does that

help with changing how u feel? I can only tell you, my gosh you should be

exhausted, on top of the illness working in the healthfield, I worked as an

aide, and med tech, has got to be draining you as a RN,, the amout of work that

they put on you guys now is tremedous and has to cause you fatigue just thinking

of punching in!, you have a lot of responsibility, and to have to go into work

tired, try and channel your pain, and also fight the fatigue to get you to a

place where you are alert, and worring you don't make any errors, I would be

flat out along time ago. Before HAD to finally say I can't do it anymore, I was

pushing myself, and each pill that I poured had I was checking I think 6x's not

the 3, because I went into work dragging, or feeling like I was ADD at times and

could not consentrate, I think because I was in so much pain, I was trying to

channel it out, and that is where I would be

out there. It has to be hard for you on top of working having 2 sm. children.

I have said before, I had 3 sm. children, and now know I had this disease back

then, and prayed everyday I would live through whatever I had, as it sure seemed

like a terminal illness, I wanted to be alive to have them be on there own. I

now am there, and catch myself looking back thinking, I robbed them of a

childhood with a proper mother, who could not play with them when they wanted me

to, who sometimes could not even let them hug me as it hurt to bad, etc., but

then I remember, I had this disease, and it was not intentional, and they have

all turned out alright. Is there anyway you can cut back some on your work?, so

you can rest, more before having to return? I think you need some more time for

this, you have a very demanding job. As for the med's I am on the same thing,

and never have I been able to sleep with it, it use to make me real hyper, but

have been on and off and now on so

long, it just works to take edge off and that is all, I need to find the right

thing to give me complete pain free time, just maybe an 1hr? I would settle for

that right now. I wish we had and answer, or solution to get rid of this.

Take it easy as you can. Rest when you can, Sharon

debra van ness wrote: Jeanne, Yes he is. He

needs to apply for the disability. I have been on him about it. I believe

something will work out in the long run.

To valdez, (sorry I don't know your name)... LOL. I understand so much about

needing the lortab for functioning. I am the same way. I feel guilt over it and

fear at the same time. I just don't have a choice right now though. I have to

keep moving and living for my kid's sake. I should not feel the guilt. I am not

taking this medication for fun. I am taking it because it is the only thing that

keeps the fibro at bay even for a few hours. The exhaustion is almost worse than

the pain for me. The chronic bone deep tired feeling is too much. Just feel like

I cannot put one foot in front of the other anymore no matter how long I am in

bed at night. Others don't understand at work when I say " I am exhausted " ...

they say " me too " .... NOPE they don't know what kind of exhausted I am talking

about. But I don't fault them. They cannot understand. I use to be tired from

working years ago or from something else.... back then I could go to bed and

sleep and wake up with

the " tired " all gone. Not anymore. It is endless day after day exhaustion.

Well thanks for the support and the response. Yep, the lortab (vicodin or

hydrocodone), is the only thing that lets this exhaustion up. Alot of people

think it should put me to sleep and knock me out. It never has, it does the

opposite to me.

Thanks,

love and hugs,

Debra V

valdez_water wrote: Hello Debra, I know all to well how

you feel about working and taking

your pain meds. I have been in chronic pain for 10 years now and am

only 35 years old. I have a 12 year old daughter that I love to death

unconditionally with all my heart. Some days I just feel so bad, and

not that many people understand how bad you feel when you have to

take a pill(or two) just to get out the bed, to go to the bathroom,

make breakfast, cook dinner, go to the store etc. I take my pain

meds to help with fatigue as well I thought I was the only one that

did that, or at least thought that I was crazy when i found out that

it helps me relax and takes the sleepy edge off when need be. My dr

is starting to drug test me know and I just feel like a criminal! I

started taking the " new " drug LYRICA! The side effects where not

worth the cost and pain. I don't have insurance so I paid $129 for a

mnt supply and my arms, legs, my whole body swelled up, I started

having stomach problems. I had to stop taking it and the side effects

went away. I was in pain from the side effects which caused me to

take more pain meds from the pain med Lyrica! So don't feel bad, The

only thing that works for me is my Lortabs and I will keep taking

them untill I find something else that works, but for now that is the

only thing! I wish you all the best sweetheart, keep your head up!---

In Fibromyalgia_Support_Group , " Jeanne and Dave "

wrote:

>

> Your husband is a vet, right? Can he get some disability for his

health problems? I think you should maybe talk to an attorney or

financial advisor or something. You can see the writing on the wall,

so to speak, so it makes sense to try to understand what steps you

could take now. Hope this helps. We are about the same age, and I've

been disabled for 10 years now.

> Jeanne in WI

>

>

> Well group, don't know where else to vent about this. I just

wanted to touch base and gripe a little bit. I am finding that it is

harder and harder to work now. I just don't have a clue what I am

going to do in the future with these two young children to raise. I

am delighted to have them in my life and love them with all my heart

and soul. I just wish it had not have been so late when I had them.

Because they don't get the best mom I could have been years ago.

Ironic, huh?

> The changes that have occured in me in just the last 3 years is

unbelievable. I was literally on auto pilot at work this week. The

exhaustion is so horrible and debilitating. I find I have to take

the hydrocodone to function. It is not only a great pain killer for

me, but it somehow lets the exhaustion up some. I hate this though.

I have to be dependent on some pills to keep going. That is not the

way I ever wanted my life to be. I almost feel guilty sometimes

because I feel I should be stronger than that. If I did not work

full time, I could cut the vicodin back at least to 3/4's or 1/2 the

dose I take now.

> At work when I get as if I cannot take another step because it

feels like 20 pounds of weights are tied to my arms and legs, I have

to take the medication. At home, at least I can lay down and deal

with it better. I rest more on my days off of course, so I don't

take as much pain meds.

>

> This is a long post I know. I won't blame you if you don't have

time to read it all.

> I feel so trapped. If I applied for disability they would

say " well you are working now " ... but if I quit working to apply....

then what the hell do we live on until all the red tape of disability

gets done? I mean some people apply 5 to 10 times and they still

turn them down.

>

> Just wonder what I am going to do? I just can't see standing up

to this for another 20 years or so. I am only 43.

>

> Thanks for listening. I don't really think anyone has an answer

to fix it, but I just wanted to have someone listen I guess.

>

> love and hugs,

> Debra V.

>

>

>