RE: Need Help

[Guest guest]

i don't know the secret to getting required respite and " me time " debbie. it's

something we all struggle with to an extent. twins though - that's a whole

other story - i don't know how you do it!! can you find out from other people

in your autism support group about respite services you may be eligible for or

the name of a babysitter they know, like and trust? good luck getting back on

track sweetie!

michelle mg

[Guest guest]

Debbie, so many of us find ourselves in similar situations. You have

to take care of yourself or your health suffers too as most of us

have learned. Yes, sleep is the most likely culprit here, but it's

hard to change the stressors in your life. If your little guy is a

sleepless fellow then perhaps some melatonin or clonidine would help

him sleep so you can sleep. Has the stress added up to some

depression for you? That seems to be a common thing for many of us

because of the unremitting levels of stress. If so an antidepressant

may help you sleep better and feel better overall. And most of all

don't think that you should be able to do it all. It isn't

possible. You do what you can and the rest will wait. Seriously.

Take care. Hugs.

[Guest guest]

Find a good preschool. Try a sleeping aid to see if that will

help with the insomnia. Go to the doctor about the insomnia. Call

the United Way and ask about respite. There is an organization here

that will do respite on a sliding scale. They do the background

checks and everything. Don't worry so much about a clean house. I

think if my house was completely clean all at once, my husband would

have a heart attack. If you truly enjoy the tae kwon do, then by all

means do it. But if your sole purpose is to get out for a little

bit, then pick something a little less physical.

If that doesn't work, there is always duck tape and nyquil for the

kids ;0)

Leigh

[Guest guest]

Debbie,

Didn't you say you were going to check with your Dr. about your meds, or was

it just me suggesting it? If your depressed, the med being adjusted can

help you with your sleep. If it's Jordan not sleeping and keeping you

awake, try the melatonin for him or ask the Dr. for Clonidine. You could

even try the melatonin for yourself.

I think if you can get the sleep portion under control, the rest won't seem

so bad, and your health will certainly improve!

Good luck.

Sue

[Guest guest]

I dont know if I have any suggestions. I remember being that Busy with Greggory

and Alec. Now I am busy but it is much different. The therapy and running around

is what kills me. Now that we dont do that I am much happier and that is alot. I

am not saying ti quit therapy but something has to give. If you dont have enough

energy to do it all then dont. See what help may be available to you in your

area. Churches, friends, family, neighbors, organizations, respite. Whatever.

Good luck.

Jacquie H

[Guest guest]

Well, my kids sleep just fine. So it's not them keeping me up.

It's me. I go to sleep and then wake up hourly or every two hours. I

toss & turn. Fight battles in my sleep. Can't find a comfortable place

to be. Generally the night is very long and not restful at all.

Then, I nap while the twins nap and fall fast asleep and struggle to

wake back up when they do.

My NT twin has been the most stressful lately. She's hard and heavy in

the terrible twos and the fact that her brother has autism is just

making matters worse. She tantrums, she cries, she screams. She cries

over legitimate things, she makes up stuff to cry about when she doesn't

have something legitimate. She's making me CRAZY. I literally can't

stand to be around her lately. Because all she does is this. I've

tried reasoning, I've tried sending her to her room, I'm now trying

ignoring it. Nothing is working and it's just escalating and

escalating. I'm literally at my wits' end with her. <sighs>

Ok this wasn't meant to be a rant again.

Thanks everyone for the support.

BTW, I'm going to the doctor on Monday for something unrelated but I

plan to bring up the meds & the sleeping thing while I'm there.

Debbie with twins

[Guest guest]

Debbie you NEED to sleep!!!!!!!

Cecilia, from Peru (mom to Dessiree 3½ yo)

Lovely husband

-----Mensaje original-----

De: weya

Enviado el: Viernes, 14 de Febrero de 2003 10:04 a.m.

Para: 'Parenting_Autism'

Asunto: Need Help

This has been preying on my mind for the past week, while I've been in

bed sick ... yet again. I hope it makes sense despite my fever induced

delirious thinking ... sheesh, see? It's already not making much sense.

Okay

I've been very ill, laid up in bed ill, twice in the last 2.5 months.

This is very unusual for me. I'm usually the last person to get this

sick. Before I got sick each time, I was very very run down. Usually

due to insomnia. This time, Rick had to take a sick day in order to

care for all of us. Thankfully he already was scheduled off on Tuesday

& Thursday or he would have had to take 3 days off ... and he doesn't

have 3 sick days, so it would've been without pay.

Obviously, something has to give. I need to change something or

everything so I stop this cycle of sleeplessness, extreme fatigue, and

then sickness.

Last night I was writing a cousin, giving her an update on the family

and as I wrote what I was doing, I wasn't surprised I'm tired all the

time. My weekly schedule looks like .... 2 days of therapy for Jordan

(during which I have to manage ), 2 days of school for Jordan

(during which I either take to a tumble tots class which requires

my physical participation or to the library or running errands with me),

laundry, meals, cleaning house, autism research, my autism support group

(twice a month), tae kwon do (that's my hour out of the house a week

now), the usual managing of children in the terrible two stage (

has been extremely stressful lately), dealing with insurance companies

for coverage, dealing with health care providers & therapists, the list

goes on.

I read that list and phew, I'm exhausted. I'm running outside the house

at least 3 days a week, one day a week there's an inhome therapist that

comes.

My MIL's health has been very fragile lately. So my husband has been

putting more time into looking out for her. I support that, but at the

same time, it does mean that I have to pick up more of the slack here.

I don't know what to do. But I'm running myself to the limit ...

probably beyond the limit. The only family we have here is my MIL and

she's really in no shape to watch the kids now (though, she keeps

offering). I'm very leary about just hiring some stranger to watch my

kids. I get out of the house (alone) twice a month for the autism

support group for a couple hours, once a week for an hour for TKD, and

whenever my hubby is off I try to go out alone even if it's to grocery

shop.

For some reason, it's just not enough lately.

Or maybe it's just the sleeping problems that are the root of all this.

I don't know any more.

I'm turning to all of you here, hoping that maybe you have some ideas,

suggestions, something, anything to help me work my way through this.

Thanks,

Debbie with twins

[Guest guest]

> BTW, I'm going to the doctor on Monday for something unrelated but I

> plan to bring up the meds & the sleeping thing while I'm there.

Good, Debbie. Sleep disturbance that profound is a blinking sign of

depression. Maybe you need your meds upped, or maybe you need a switch to

something else.

In the meantime, an anti-nauseant is often a good sleep-inducer. What is it

you guys have in the states? Dramamine, was it? You could go buy some, and

just use it to get past the next two or three nights.

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

Cheryl where do you live? Here in Ga, if you go to the department of

Family and children services they can sometimes help you. My husband and

I were foster parents for 10 yrs and we have watched them help numerous

people over and over. So they may be able to help you too.

Rise "

Need Help

Hello everyone, Cheryl here,I am need of some help or suggestions. I

just recently found out that the SSI detemination people had set up one

last Dr. visit for me,but because I dont have a place to live,I could

not stay where my Daughter put me,there was no running water,no

nothing.So,my ex husband who is a over the road truck driver put me on

his truck,I have been on the truck for 4 mths now,but it is killing me,I

am always in pain any more,and I need a place that is stable,so I can

get my SSI.I was wondering if there was anyone here who would know what

to do.Thank you. Cheryl

Just Being Me

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[Guest guest]

Cheryl there has got to be something or someone to help ypou out. I live in

South Dakota so I doubt I would be much help but wanted to let you know how

sorry I am you are going through this. Keep us posted!

Lori j

Hello everyone, Cheryl here,I am need of some help or suggestions. I

just recently found out that the SSI detemination people had set up one last Dr.

visit for me,but because I dont have a place to live,I could not stay where my

Daughter put me,there was no running water,no nothing.So,my ex husband who is a

over the road truck driver put me on his truck,I have been on the truck for 4

mths now,but it is killing me,I am always in pain any more,and I need a place

that is stable,so I can get my SSI.I was wondering if there was anyone here who

would know what to do.Thank you. Cheryl

Just Being Me

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