Re: I survived the night/trigger maybe

[Guest guest]

,

Unfortunately we change from the people we were before because we have no

choice. We no longer can handle everyone else problems and be everyones

caregiver. Pain makes us irritable and fatigue makes us tired. WE ARE NO LONGER

ABLE TO DO ALL OF THE PHYSICAL THINGS WE USE TO. tHE FIBROFOG(oops hit the cap

lock) make it difficult if not impossible to do the " secretarial " and

" manigerial " things we use to do. Throw on the fact that unless we recieve

disability then we have no money for ourselves or to contribute to the

household. He has to accept these things because they are nothing we choose or

want. Whether we are out in the workforse or staying at home raising the kids

before this gets to an extreme, we all havethings we can no longer do.

My husband struggles with this because up until 2 1/2 yrs ago, I was doing it

all. Slowly things creeped in under the radar. He blows and then appoligizes

because he knows it isn't intentional. The other day I happen to over hear a

discussion my daughter and husband were having.He said neither of them c ould

manage not having any money. sometimes he remembers and leaves me some cash but

he forgets because I always worked. i accept that he is doing his best to adapt

and he is learning to accept the changes in me after more than 20yrs. I'm not

saying that abuse is acceptible but we each need to evaluate our situation and

deciede if it is still worth working on.

JudyMer

---- wrote:

> Morning,

> Thanks everyone for your prayers and support. It means so much to me. I

survived the night. Not much sleep as the pain kept waking me up and of course

last night's stress did not help.

> It is not up to me to try and change this man or for me to change to please

him. He needs to do this for himself. I refuse to be his punching bag any longer

verbally, mentally or otherwise. Now, what to do about it? that is my next step.

I am going to remove myself from the situation everytime it arises. I cannot

handle it and my disease cannot handle it either. So where does that leave me?

Not sure yet.

> I wish someone would tell this man a thing or two about what a real husband

is. How I deserve to be treated. His Mom dod not raise him this way and if

alive, would not support it. So where does it come from? I am not taking the

blame or trying to smooth thing over to suit him. He is an abuser. Plain and

simple.

> After all he put me through last night, he finally coughed up the money for

pet food. I knew he had some.

> My pain level is quite high still. I do not know what is gonna solve it at

this point. I do know I cannot stand much more.

> Hope everyone is doing well. I could not do this without all of you. awesome

friends is what I have. A true blessing.

> Hugs,

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

,

Unfortunately we change from the people we were before because we have no

choice. We no longer can handle everyone else problems and be everyones

caregiver. Pain makes us irritable and fatigue makes us tired. WE ARE NO LONGER

ABLE TO DO ALL OF THE PHYSICAL THINGS WE USE TO. tHE FIBROFOG(oops hit the cap

lock) make it difficult if not impossible to do the " secretarial " and

" manigerial " things we use to do. Throw on the fact that unless we recieve

disability then we have no money for ourselves or to contribute to the

household. He has to accept these things because they are nothing we choose or

want. Whether we are out in the workforse or staying at home raising the kids

before this gets to an extreme, we all havethings we can no longer do.

My husband struggles with this because up until 2 1/2 yrs ago, I was doing it

all. Slowly things creeped in under the radar. He blows and then appoligizes

because he knows it isn't intentional. The other day I happen to over hear a

discussion my daughter and husband were having.He said neither of them c ould

manage not having any money. sometimes he remembers and leaves me some cash but

he forgets because I always worked. i accept that he is doing his best to adapt

and he is learning to accept the changes in me after more than 20yrs. I'm not

saying that abuse is acceptible but we each need to evaluate our situation and

deciede if it is still worth working on.

JudyMer

---- wrote:

> Morning,

> Thanks everyone for your prayers and support. It means so much to me. I

survived the night. Not much sleep as the pain kept waking me up and of course

last night's stress did not help.

> It is not up to me to try and change this man or for me to change to please

him. He needs to do this for himself. I refuse to be his punching bag any longer

verbally, mentally or otherwise. Now, what to do about it? that is my next step.

I am going to remove myself from the situation everytime it arises. I cannot

handle it and my disease cannot handle it either. So where does that leave me?

Not sure yet.

> I wish someone would tell this man a thing or two about what a real husband

is. How I deserve to be treated. His Mom dod not raise him this way and if

alive, would not support it. So where does it come from? I am not taking the

blame or trying to smooth thing over to suit him. He is an abuser. Plain and

simple.

> After all he put me through last night, he finally coughed up the money for

pet food. I knew he had some.

> My pain level is quite high still. I do not know what is gonna solve it at

this point. I do know I cannot stand much more.

> Hope everyone is doing well. I could not do this without all of you. awesome

friends is what I have. A true blessing.

> Hugs,

>

>

>