Guest guest Posted March 17, 2008 Report Share Posted March 17, 2008 Tigger/Ruth, Sweetie I wish I could do something to help. You are a very strong woman and you've survived a lot. Don't let your brother bring you down. He's selfish and basically a grown up brat. He's abusive. I know it might seem like a stretch but he is. I got a real awakening at one of the shrinks last week; my 'friend' is abusive. The doc asked me a bunch of questions about him and I said yes to way too many of them. I'm not trying to shrink you; but I know you've had abusive relationships before and learned how to deal with them. So you probably need to shake yourself up and treat him like you did the others. Just let go of the emotional control he has over you. Aside from that I know you have a lot of issues with meds. Can't you simply crush most of them? I wish you could find something that would help. My Lyrica and tramadol together have helped me so much. I can't get out of bed without them. By the way, I'm proud of myself. This afternoon I sent a letter to all my legislature people; the assembly, senate, representative, and senators. Funny thing is I actually met half of them when I worked at the state, but I don't think they will remember me. If they do its not bad. One of the senators has a staff of caseworkers and he does a lot of social security stuff. Cross your fingers for me!! Angie Harley Mama Double-D Carson City, NV; Single, five children (3 at home), 2 dogs, 4 cats, snow skiing, camping, Harley Rider, Lone Wolf, Blue Thong Society/High Sierra Thong Snappers member, LFA Advocate, independent, opinionated, outspoken, and open minded. " It's always something. " ~~~Gilda Radner " While we have the gift of life, it seems to me the only tragedy is to allow part of us to die - whether it is our spirit,our creativity, or our glorious uniqueness. " ~~~Gilda Radner http://www.mybloglog.com/buzz/members/AGBlog/ http://360.yahoo.com/lovinglifeinnv http://www.myspace.com/amkg http://doripost.agrato.info/ http://wine-and-chocolate.blogspot.com/ http://weblog.xanga.com/purplepassionate http://www.revolutionhealth.com/blogs/angiemg http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=592316375 http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/LupusSurvivorsU/ My tigger Hugs my friend. I so understand. I cannot talk about it to my family either [Mr Wonderful and Mel} without eye rolling, shrugging me off or making a rude comment. I don't look sick, thus I must not be. I was called a pain pill seeker tonight. Is he for real? I am here if you need to talk. Email me anytime. [image: extrasBlessings abj StudyBear-vi] [image: 129] [image: 85] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 Thanks Angie. I needed that, I really did. My counselor says that we have a mentally incestuous relationship. That term scared the crap out of me because he's never laid a hand on me. The point she was making is that most of the time he wants to be in control of my life. He will never like any man that I like because that will take me away from him. It was a good 3 weeks ago she told me this and although it still freaks me out when I think about it. it does kind of make sense. He has been my mom, dad, brother, friend, enemy, and just about every other role in my life. and has controlled it. I turn 51 next week and I think it just might be a good time to reclaim (or would that be claim) my life to myself and for myself. Last year I wasn't well enough, but I am a lot stronger now. Again, thanks Ang. Tigger (Ruth) in Rhode Island _____ From: Fibromyalgia_Support_Group [mailto:Fibromyalgia_Support_Group ] On Behalf Of Angie Sent: Monday, March 17, 2008 9:38 PM To: Fibromyalgia_Support_Group Subject: Re: My tigger Tigger/Ruth, Sweetie I wish I could do something to help. You are a very strong woman and you've survived a lot. Don't let your brother bring you down. He's selfish and basically a grown up brat. He's abusive. I know it might seem like a stretch but he is. I got a real awakening at one of the shrinks last week; my 'friend' is abusive. The doc asked me a bunch of questions about him and I said yes to way too many of them. I'm not trying to shrink you; but I know you've had abusive relationships before and learned how to deal with them. So you probably need to shake yourself up and treat him like you did the others. Just let go of the emotional control he has over you. Aside from that I know you have a lot of issues with meds. Can't you simply crush most of them? I wish you could find something that would help. My Lyrica and tramadol together have helped me so much. I can't get out of bed without them. By the way, I'm proud of myself. This afternoon I sent a letter to all my legislature people; the assembly, senate, representative, and senators. Funny thing is I actually met half of them when I worked at the state, but I don't think they will remember me. If they do its not bad. One of the senators has a staff of caseworkers and he does a lot of social security stuff. Cross your fingers for me!! Angie Harley Mama Double-D Carson City, NV; Single, five children (3 at home), 2 dogs, 4 cats, snow skiing, camping, Harley Rider, Lone Wolf, Blue Thong Society/High Sierra Thong Snappers member, LFA Advocate, independent, opinionated, outspoken, and open minded. " It's always something. " ~~~Gilda Radner " While we have the gift of life, it seems to me the only tragedy is to allow part of us to die - whether it is our spirit,our creativity, or our glorious uniqueness. " ~~~Gilda Radner http://www.mybloglo <http://www.mybloglog.com/buzz/members/AGBlog/> g.com/buzz/members/AGBlog/ http://360.yahoo. <http://360.yahoo.com/lovinglifeinnv> com/lovinglifeinnv http://www.myspace. <http://www.myspace.com/amkg> com/amkg http://doripost. <http://doripost.agrato.info/> agrato.info/ http://wine- <http://wine-and-chocolate.blogspot.com/> and-chocolate.blogspot.com/ http://weblog. <http://weblog.xanga.com/purplepassionate> xanga.com/purplepassionate http://www.revoluti <http://www.revolutionhealth.com/blogs/angiemg> onhealth.com/blogs/angiemg http://www.facebook <http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=592316375> ..com/profile.php?id=592316375 http://health. <http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/LupusSurvivorsU/> groups.yahoo.com/group/LupusSurvivorsU/ My tigger Hugs my friend. I so understand. I cannot talk about it to my family either [Mr Wonderful and Mel} without eye rolling, shrugging me off or making a rude comment. I don't look sick, thus I must not be. I was called a pain pill seeker tonight. Is he for real? I am here if you need to talk. Email me anytime. [image: extrasBlessings abj StudyBear-vi] [image: 129] [image: 85] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 HEY THERE, WOW U HAVE BEEN THROUGH IT! I HOPE U DON'T EVER GO BACK THERE? YEA LETTING GO IS A GOOD THING, I MYSELF HAVE TO WORK ON THAT ONE, VERY HARD FOR ME, AS MY MOM KEEPS TELLING ME TO TRY IT AND I WILL BE IN A BETTER PLACE. I HAVE 4 BRO'S, LOST ONE, AND AM WATCHING ANOTHER DESTROY HIMSELF, I HAVE ALSO HAD BIG ARGUMENT'S WITH 3 OF THEM ALL YOUNGER, BUT WE ARE ALL VERY HEAD STRONG, AND ME BEING SO INDEPENENT, MAKES IT WORSE, I HAVE LOVED THEM, HATED WHAT THEY HAVE DONE TO ME, AND NOT TALKED TO SOME IN MORE THEN 2YRS., I HAVE BEEN TOLD THAT IS CRAZY, HE IS YOUR BROTHER ETC. BUT I LOOK AT IT THIS WAY YES WE ARE BLOOD, BUT I WILL NOT BE MISTREATED, TOLD WHAT IS THE RIGHT WAY AND WHAT ISN'T, AND ON AND ON. I REALLY DO HAVE LOVING, CARING, MOST OF THE TIME UNDERSTANDING FAMILY, BUT THEY HAVE PUSHED MY BUTTONS, AND THAT LEADS ME TO JUST WALK AWAY, AND IN MY MIND FEEL, IF SOMEONE BROTHER OR NOT CAN SAY OR DO SOMETHING THAT HARMFULL TO ME AS GET ME REAL UPSET, THEN I DON'T NEED TO BE AROUND THEM, TALK TO THEM OR VISIT, I RIGHT NOW AM IN TOUCH WITH ALL OF THEM, EXCEPT THE ONE DESTROYING HIS LIFE WITH A BOTTLE, HE OTHERWISE WAS A BEAUTIFUL HUMAN BEING, BUT I HAVE TALKED MY TALK TO HIM TAKEN HIM AND 2 CHILDEREN IN FOR 2 YRS AND JUST WATCHED HIM GET DEEPER AND DEEPER INTO IT AND DEPRESSION. I JUST HAVE TO STAY AWAY AS IT EATS AT ME. WE ARE NOT MEANT TO BE MISTREATED WHETHER FAMILY OR NOT, JUST BECAUSE RELATED DON'T MEAN WE SHOULD NOT SHUT THEM OUT IF THEY CAN'T STOP HURTING US. HOPE U A LIGHTER DAY AND GET WELL. WE ARE EXPECTING SNOW HERE AGAIN TONIGHT IN ME! HUBBY NEVER GOING TO GET TO NEW BEDFORD TO START HIS SEASON. SHARON Tigger wrote: Angie knows a lot of what I've been through for the past year and a half. I had to learn to walk all over again because I got so malnourished my body was eating it's own muscle. I was passing out left and right and hit my head so many times it will be a miracle that I don't have permanent brain damage. I'll work through it. and unfortunately for me the usually means learning to let go. I will and tomorrow will be another day. Tigger (Ruth) in Rhode Island _____ From: Fibromyalgia_Support_Group [mailto:Fibromyalgia_Support_Group ] On Behalf Of sharon studley Sent: Tuesday, March 18, 2008 10:03 AM To: Fibromyalgia_Support_Group Subject: Re: My tigger Angie's idea Hi Tigger this is my thought can you crush and take. Hope this can work. thinking of u. sharon Angie <lovinglifeinnv@ <mailto:lovinglifeinnv%40yahoo.com> yahoo.com> wrote: Tigger/Ruth, Sweetie I wish I could do something to help. You are a very strong woman and you've survived a lot. Don't let your brother bring you down. He's selfish and basically a grown up brat. He's abusive. I know it might seem like a stretch but he is. I got a real awakening at one of the shrinks last week; my 'friend' is abusive. The doc asked me a bunch of questions about him and I said yes to way too many of them. I'm not trying to shrink you; but I know you've had abusive relationships before and learned how to deal with them. So you probably need to shake yourself up and treat him like you did the others. Just let go of the emotional control he has over you. Aside from that I know you have a lot of issues with meds. Can't you simply crush most of them? I wish you could find something that would help. My Lyrica and tramadol together have helped me so much. I can't get out of bed without them. By the way, I'm proud of myself. This afternoon I sent a letter to all my legislature people; the assembly, senate, representative, and senators. Funny thing is I actually met half of them when I worked at the state, but I don't think they will remember me. If they do its not bad. One of the senators has a staff of caseworkers and he does a lot of social security stuff. Cross your fingers for me!! Angie Harley Mama Double-D Carson City, NV; Single, five children (3 at home), 2 dogs, 4 cats, snow skiing, camping, Harley Rider, Lone Wolf, Blue Thong Society/High Sierra Thong Snappers member, LFA Advocate, independent, opinionated, outspoken, and open minded. " It's always something. " ~~~Gilda Radner " While we have the gift of life, it seems to me the only tragedy is to allow part of us to die - whether it is our spirit,our creativity, or our glorious uniqueness. " ~~~Gilda Radner http://www.mybloglo <http://www.mybloglog.com/buzz/members/AGBlog/> g.com/buzz/members/AGBlog/ http://360.yahoo. <http://360.yahoo.com/lovinglifeinnv> com/lovinglifeinnv http://www.myspace. <http://www.myspace.com/amkg> com/amkg http://doripost. <http://doripost.agrato.info/> agrato.info/ http://wine- <http://wine-and-chocolate.blogspot.com/> and-chocolate.blogspot.com/ http://weblog. <http://weblog.xanga.com/purplepassionate> xanga.com/purplepassionate http://www.revoluti <http://www.revolutionhealth.com/blogs/angiemg> onhealth.com/blogs/angiemg http://www.facebook <http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=592316375> ..com/profile.php?id=592316375 http://health. <http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/LupusSurvivorsU/> groups.yahoo.com/group/LupusSurvivorsU/ My tigger Hugs my friend. I so understand. I cannot talk about it to my family either [Mr Wonderful and Mel} without eye rolling, shrugging me off or making a rude comment. I don't look sick, thus I must not be. I was called a pain pill seeker tonight. Is he for real? I am here if you need to talk. Email me anytime. [image: extrasBlessings abj StudyBear-vi] [image: 129] [image: 85] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 Ruth, Now you know you will feel like garbage if you don't get any sleep. I'm with you on it. I didn't get to sleep until around 5am. I think I slept 4-5 hours; maybe even less. I'm not doing too bad now but it will catch up with me later. Mostly I got up to the telephone; Binder & Binder calling for a status report. You usually have these insomnia attacks like I do; for days. If you can rest during the day, go for it. I sure hope we don't do this all week. On the family stuff, someone once gave me this phrase, or I read it somewhere.... " Family forces you to put up with people you otherwise would have nothing to do with. " It's true, if they weren't related a lot of them would have been 'dumped' a long time ago. In some cases we really should dump them anyway. Angie Harley Mama Double-D Carson City, NV; Single, five children (3 at home), 2 dogs, 4 cats, snow skiing, camping, Harley Rider, Lone Wolf, Blue Thong Society/High Sierra Thong Snappers member, LFA Advocate, independent, opinionated, outspoken, and open minded. " It's always something. " ~~~Gilda Radner " While we have the gift of life, it seems to me the only tragedy is to allow part of us to die - whether it is our spirit,our creativity, or our glorious uniqueness. " ~~~Gilda Radner http://www.mybloglog.com/buzz/members/AGBlog/ http://360.yahoo.com/lovinglifeinnv http://www.myspace.com/amkg http://doripost.agrato.info/ http://wine-and-chocolate.blogspot.com/ http://weblog.xanga.com/purplepassionate http://www.revolutionhealth.com/blogs/angiemg http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=592316375 http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/LupusSurvivorsU/ ________________________________________________________________________________\ ____ Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. http://mobile.yahoo.com/;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 > > ((((((((Angie)))))))) > > Yeah, I did enjoy my corned beef and cabbage and I enjoyed playing this new > game (new for me). I did NOT need a lecture from my brother when I'm not > getting the medical help that I need (how many of us do?). I'm so > frustrated, angry, hurt and just lost that I can't stop crying. I know it > shouldn't get me this badly, but it shows truly how little he does > understand. I thought he had learned more. > > > > I have more difficulty with meds because of my gastric by-pass. I need > higher doses and shorter time between them. the doctors don't get it. If it > has to be broken down in the intestine I'm screwed. I don't have the > intestine to break it down. I also don't have much acid in my stomach to > break it down. > > > > I could scream right now. Everything you said is right. It's kind of like > what I've been saying lately. the crises is over, so my brother either > disappears or acts like a jerk. I think I'm going to have to take a break > from him and just do what I need to do for me. > > > > I go from constant pain to really bad constant pain. Great choices, huh? > I'm about at the end of my rope and there is very little I care about right > now. except the fur kids. > > > > Tigger (Ruth) in Rhode Island > > > > > > _____ > > From: Fibromyalgia_Support_Group > [mailto:Fibromyalgia_Support_Group ] On Behalf Of Angie > Sent: Sunday, March 16, 2008 10:57 PM > To: Fibromyalgia_Support_Group > Subject: Re: My tigger > > > > Tigger, > First of all, he's male. > Second, he's been insensitive to you a lot in the past. He doesn't want to > hear about the reality of your illness. > > I'll say this much; guys want to fix things. If they can't just fix it, they > don't want to hear about it. > > I know this is a generalization but its not derogative. Men and Women have > different traits. Generally, most men want to take charge and fix things. If > they can't they don't want to be reminded of it. That's why your brother has > been helpful to you when there was something he could do. > > I don't want to make excuses for him here. I just want you to find a place > in your mind where he won't keep hurting you so deeply. Did you at least > enjoy your corned beef and cabbage? > > Angie Harley Mama Double-D > > Thanks , > > There really isn't anything to talk about. I've decided to keep some > distance for awhile. It will help me avoid getting angry and at the same > time not ruin the only family I have. It did make me sick to my stomach and > I've been crying every since. I just thought with all we've been through in > the past year. hospitalization and near death. that he would understand > better, but he just doesn't get it. I told him flat out I wish that for one > day he could feel my pain. including the recent frozen shoulder. > > He thinks he knows it all because he majored in psych in college. There is > a big difference in taking classes and practical application. Right now I'm > too angry to make any definitive decisions, but tomorrow is another day and > I will be thinking about a plan. what I am referring to now as an " out " > plan. You know like when you get invited but don't want to go, so you need > an out. That's what I'm working on. > > Tigger (Ruth) in Rhode Island > > _____ > Tigger, I have to tell you that I have seen my youngest sister one time since the day of our mother's memorial service in 2003. She was probably in shock that day as she had suddenly lost the control she had had for a number of years after she managed to get our mother to sign over power of attorney to her! I knew from the signature, that my mother had no idea what she was signing. But that is moot now, she made one or two curt remarks to me at the funeral home and I walked off and left her standing or pacing! I did talk to the owner and told him he didn't have to pay any attention to her. But the problem was increased two fold when I frantically search for her when one of our nephews was taken to the hospital while in the throes of a terrible manic attack. I should have not have suggested she come to the hospital because, terrible words were said while we were in the room he was in in the emergency department. His mother had let go of him just long enough to blow her nose and he became very quickly agiated. I don't know if my sister had ever had any experience with some one who is bi-polar, but I had spent much time around the husband of a friend, and I recognize the signs very quickly. The next time I saw her was 2 years later at the family gathering to celebrate her middle granddaughter's 12th birthday. I had one picture to give her and also wanted to let her read about a doctor I had seen here earlier in the spring. He had graduated from my alma mater, attended the med school her ex-husband had also attended but he was also born not far from where she was born in South Dakota. Her response both times " I'm busy! " After almost everyone had left, I walked into the room where her daughter was standing and lean over and said, " I am not going to even try to speak to your mother again --- she was so rude! " My niece had a very interesting reponse " Well, at least she was not yelling!!! " I did find that an interesting remark, but on the other hand, I never forget her birthday --- she always gets a big bouquet of some kind of flowers and I don't care if she acknowledges them or not -- I track the delivery and know they have arrived! There are two other members of my extended family that I do not care if I ever speak to them. I call one cousin at work because his wife won't let him talk to me! And the husband of my aunt who died in December will never see me or hear from me again --- I reported him as abusing my aunt, possibly too late, but the one thing others in the family realized was that they could make a call if they saw another situation. So, perhaps you need to distance your self from your brother for a while. And that's my 2 cents. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 19, 2008 Report Share Posted March 19, 2008 Tigger, I have noticed that at least once a week (sometimes more, but usually just once a week) I will wake up at 2-3am or therabouts and not be able to go back to sleep at all and then I am up for the duration of the day, not even able to nap. I know it doesn't compare to your 48 hour marathon you are on right now, but lack of sleep is lack of sleep. And that's what gets me - my brain will start thinking of this that and the other. If only there were a switch, huh? About brothers - while I was in the hospital last week, mine came in after work (he does pools so he was kind of grungy) and sat down in the chair next to me and we watched some silly program. We didn't really talk but it was a comforting presence there. He stayed until just before visiting hours were over then went home for dinner. I cannot tell you what that meant to me because as much as I love my brother, I don't feel like we are as close as we could be if that makes sense? I pray your brother that you do get along with comes around. We don't ask for this disease. We don't ask to feel like crap one day (or maybe several in a row) and then feel " fine " . We don't ask to have pain that we can't really describe to anyone other than a fellow fibromite that is sometimes here, sometimes there, sometimes all over. So ((((gentle hugs)))) Tigger. I pray you get some rest and relief. I can tell from your posts this is wearing you out. Darlene > > You are so right. I can expect to go through a couple of days of this crap. > I had to get up (not that I was sleeping much) to I could cancel an > appointment. I'm paying for it now at 4pm and still can't sleep. I just > can't seem to turn the brain off. And then I have the nerve to think that I > can hold down a regular job. There are days that life just sucks. > > > > It's funny about that phrase about family. I literally have had nothing to > do with my other brother since 1988 since my Mom died. I have no guilt about > it and really no feelings about it other than " he was an ass. " Sorry, but > that's the truth. > > > > I've started to wonder why my brothers think I'm weak. I've endured more > than both of them together and they don't get it. Why are these men so > difficult? I just want a normal life and not have to depend on anyone. > brothers or not. > > > > Of course, you have to keep into consideration that I've had almost no sleep > and at this point I'm about to just pop. I took a hot shower hoping that > would help, but once again the water actually hurt my back. Oh Angie, I'm > so tired of all this crap. > > > > Tigger (Ruth) in Rhode Island > > > > > > _____ > > From: Fibromyalgia_Support_Group > [mailto:Fibromyalgia_Support_Group ] On Behalf Of Angie > Sent: Tuesday, March 18, 2008 3:53 PM > To: Fibromyalgia_Support_Group > Subject: Re: My tigger > > > > Ruth, > Now you know you will feel like garbage if you don't get any sleep. I'm with > you on it. I didn't get to sleep until around 5am. I think I slept 4-5 > hours; maybe even less. I'm not doing too bad now but it will catch up with > me later. Mostly I got up to the telephone; Binder & Binder calling for a > status report. You usually have these insomnia attacks like I do; for days. > If you can rest during the day, go for it. I sure hope we don't do this all > week. > > On the family stuff, someone once gave me this phrase, or I read it > somewhere.... " Family forces you to put up with people you otherwise would > have nothing to do with. " > > It's true, if they weren't related a lot of them would have been 'dumped' a > long time ago. In some cases we really should dump them anyway. > > Angie Harley Mama Double-D > Carson City, NV; Single, five children (3 at home), 2 dogs, 4 cats, snow > skiing, camping, Harley Rider, Lone Wolf, Blue Thong Society/High Sierra > Thong Snappers member, LFA Advocate, independent, opinionated, outspoken, > and open minded. > > " It's always something. " ~~~Gilda Radner > > " While we have the gift of life, it seems to me the only tragedy is to allow > part of us to die - whether it is our spirit,our creativity, or our glorious > uniqueness. " ~~~Gilda Radner > > http://www.mybloglo <http://www.mybloglog.com/buzz/members/AGBlog/> > g.com/buzz/members/AGBlog/ > http://360.yahoo. <http://360.yahoo.com/lovinglifeinnv> com/lovinglifeinnv > http://www.myspace. <http://www.myspace.com/amkg> com/amkg > http://doripost. <http://doripost.agrato.info/> agrato.info/ > http://wine- <http://wine-and-chocolate.blogspot.com/> > and-chocolate.blogspot.com/ > http://weblog. <http://weblog.xanga.com/purplepassionate> > xanga.com/purplepassionate > http://www.revoluti <http://www.revolutionhealth.com/blogs/angiemg> > onhealth.com/blogs/angiemg > http://www.facebook <http://www.facebook.com/profile.php? id=592316375> > .com/profile.php?id=592316375 > http://health. <http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/LupusSurvivorsU/> > groups.yahoo.com/group/LupusSurvivorsU/ > > __________________________________________________________ > Be a better friend, newshound, and > know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. http://mobile. > <http://mobile.yahoo.com/;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ> > yahoo.com/;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.