Article: For parents and caregivers of children with special needs...

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For parents and caregivers of children with special needs: A guide of how to

take care of yourself.

By Luciana C Leo

" The care you give to yourself is the care you give to your loved one " . Yes I

know what you are thinking while you read this phrase it is so easy to say, but

very hard to implement! I always give this advise to all the parents that bring

their children to my office. I found out that parents have a hard time

accepting this advise. But the reality is that most of the children that come

for treatment to my office are healthier than their parents! Many studies

showed that about 60% of caregivers show signs of clinical depression, anxiety,

stress overload and burnout.

Sometimes is hard to see beyond all the chores and tasks you have to do each

day, and finding time to nurture yourself might seem impossible. But you owe it

to yourself to find the time. Without it, you may not have the mental or

physical strength to deal with all of the stress you experience as a caregiver.

Give yourself permission to rest and to do things that you enjoy on a daily

basis. You will have much more energy and you will be a better caregiver for it.

Tips for taking care of yourself:

* Do things and activities for yourself, even if you do not feel like it.

Join the gym, a class of your interest, get a manicure and pedicure, take a

bubble bath whatever makes you happy.

* Eat balanced meals.

* Try to exercise daily, at least take a walk around the block. Exercise is

a good stress releaser!

* Try to sleep at least 7 hours at night. If you can't sleep at night, take

a nap while your child is in school, daycare or a therapy.

* Learn how to manage your time wisely. Be realistic about how much of your

time and yourselves you and your child can give. I see parents trying to do the

impossible to schedule three or four therapies in a day for a child. They run

all over the place, eating inside the car and fighting with the kids cause at

one point there are exhausted too.

* Disconnect from technology: It is very important that you educate

yourself about your child's condition, but do not allow yourself to be

" googling " or searching the web 24/7. Set up a " research time " and do not

exceed it.

* Laughter really is the best medicine. Try to be around positive people,

go to a comedy show, or just watch a comedy movie.

* Keep a journal. Write down your thoughts and feelings. This helps provide

perspective on your situation and serves as an important release for your

emotions.

* Try to set a time for afternoons or evenings out. Seek out friends and

family to help you so that you can have some time away from the home. It is

important that you interact with others.

* Accept your feelings. Taking care of your loved one with special needs

can trigger a host of difficult emotions, including anger, fear, resentment,

guilt, helplessness, and grief. As long as you don't compromise the well-being

of your child, allow yourself to feel what you feel. Don't delay in getting

professional help when you need it.

* Allow people to help you by giving them a specific task to do. You do not

have to do everything yourself.

Remember that even though your main goal is to help your child get better and to

progress in life, you also have a life to take care of. Because once you burn

out, care giving is no longer a healthy option for either you or the person

you're caring for. So it's important to watch for the warning signs of caregiver

burnout and take action right away when you recognize the problem.

Common warning signs of caregiver burnout:

* You have much less energy than you used to.

* It seems like you catch every cold or flu that's going around.

* You're constantly exhausted, even after sleeping or taking a break.

* You neglect your own needs, either because you're too busy or you don't

care anymore.

* Your life revolves around taking care of your child, but it gives you

little satisfaction.

* You have trouble relaxing, even when help is available.

* You're increasingly impatient and irritable with the person you're caring

for.

* You feel overwhelmed, helpless, and hopeless.

Burnout is a state of emotional, mental, and physical exhaustion caused by

excessive and prolonged stress. It occurs when you feel overwhelmed and unable

to meet constant demands. As the stress continues, you begin to lose the

interest or motivation that led you to take on a certain role in the first

place.

Burnout reduces your productivity and saps your energy, leaving you feeling

increasingly helpless, hopeless, cynical, and resentful. Eventually, you may

feel like you have nothing more to give.

Most of us have days when we feel bored, overloaded, or unappreciated; when all

the things that we are juggling in our lives are just to much; when dragging

ourselves out of bed and staying up requires six cups of espresso. If you feel

like this most of the time, you may be flirting with burnout.

Having your own life outside of taking care of your child will help you maintain

perspective, so that care giving doesn't become your only reality. Once parents

actually start to accept this advise, they bloom and so do their children.

Happy parents, happy kids!