Re: I don't know if I can handle another day-- N.

[Guest guest]

I know what you mean exactly. It is like we have no choice but to push our

bodies beyond its limits. What in the world is wrong with this country? People

who are truly ill are not believed and just because they are pushing themselves

to work and making themselves even sicker by doing it, we are ABLE to work just

because we are still doing it. I often wonder why? Why are people with an

illness such as this not born with some kind of wealth? Money won't cure it,

but it sure would help to be able to lay down when we need to and not have to

work in pain and exhaustion all the time. It does not matter how much I sleep

when I feel this way. Sleep does nothing. I just wake up hurting as bad or

worse than I did when I went to bed. Then I go and push myself to work and feel

10 times worse the more days I pile on the work. Work.... and feel.sick... then

work... then feel worse, Work and then by the time your days off get here, you

are so beyond help that nothing will ease

the pain and fatigue.

I sure can understand. It is not fair. And I guess " life is not fair " . I

look around at the people I work with who are pretty healthy and they work and

work and work some more and it does not phase them except they need some good

sleep. The sleep and rest they take one day in the middle of a 9 or 10 day

stretch.... well that rest fixes them. I won't fix me. They have no idea how I

feel. I feel like the first few hours back to work after off days, I feel like

I have worked 10 days straight with no rest at all. They cannot fathom it.

I cannot even blame this flare on the weather and the cold. Spring is here.

So it is not that. There is no logical reason why I feel so damn tired and

older than some of my patients.

It does not matter to anyone as long as I show up and my body is still warm.

As long as I am there and keep pushing, it does not matter to them as human

beings how I feel. ( I am referring to management and co workers). And if I

take off work on days like today, it would be very often. Then there are WELL

people who can take my spot and they won't have to worry with me calling in

sick. So, we compete with the healthy just to make some money to support our

kids.

Hugs,

Debra V.

Mystic wrote:

Debra,

I'm in the same boat also. Every month it gets harder and harder to

work full time. It has gotten routine now that by Thursday evening on

the way home I am nauseous from the pain and fatigue or I have to

pull over and take a short nap just to make it the hour's drive home.

I have cried until there are no tears left trying to figure out what

me and the kids are going to do. I am lucky that my daughter is 17

and a junior in high school. She will be at home a little over one

more year and then will be in college. But honestly, I don't know how

I'm going to make it through the next year 1/2 to get her out of hte

house and to college. It scares me to no end because if I don't work

there is no other solution. I am the only support for me and my kids,

my parents are on a tight fixed retirement income and can not help,

my sister and her husband are struggling more than I am and I would

end up homeless before ever being able to get disability, especially

since the only person I've ever seen for my fibromyalgia is a

licensed nurse practioner never been to a specialist.

Anyway, enough of my rambling. Keep you chin up and hopefully things

will work out for the best for all of us!!

N.

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