Mother's special day coming soon.

[Guest guest]

I realize some of you here on the diabetic list still have your Momma around

and living. My Momma left 3 years ago in August of 2009. I miss her a lot and

every Momma's day it is worse for me. I also realize some of you who still got a

Momma that you don't see eye to eye and you have your problems, well this is

just about normal in our live's. My Momma was concerned about my over eating and

my diabetes, but she also knew the desire to do anything about the 2 diseases

was totally my responsibility. it had to start with just me. first I had to have

the passion that would fuel the vision to be healthier. then the right attitude

would come from the vision that all got started with the passion to be a

healthier person. I never could find the drive when my Momma was living, but now

after she is gone I have got the focuses. my Momma and I were very close. maybe

because she and I were both blind and had gone to the same school for the blind

and graduated there as well. we also had a lot of the same teachers. my sister

and my daddy had no vision lost and both seen as good as it could be. plus I

lived right next door to my folks for 21 years when my daddy was still alive and

27 years with my Momma still in her right mind. I seen them at least every day

or called on the phone and still it wasn't enough. My Momma didn't like flowers

or going out to eat unless it was just a hamburger. mostly on Momma's day I

cooked for her and just spent the day with her. talking about her childhood and

my childhood as well. Momma's I think love for there kids to just want to spend

time with them and this mainly cost free. I know some of you got issues with

your Momma's and so did I, but I had a vision to never let those problems come

between us or drive a wall up between us that wouldn't never allow us to know

and love each other. our parents didn't do everything right and they made

mistakes as well. there is a book of directions that parents can use raising

there kids and it is the good book, but even this doesn't always cause them to

not be bad kids. I can't build babies and never could. for what ever the reason

was God never gave me the proper stuff to make e my wife a mommy. I really will

never know the special bond a Mother can have for a child she gave birth to and

raised to be an adult. I as a man certainly couldn't give birth, but I could

still have that bond for a daddy for a child. I will tell you a little story

about my sister. she never lived next door to the parents except for a short

while when her girls were first born. she moved away when they were maybe 5 and

3. her and her Momma never was real close, but her and her daddy was. maybe this

was due to the fact that my sister could better relate to my daddy who could see

as she could. well my sister and my Momma never would either make the first step

to get to know one another in a deeper way. both had to much pride and both very

stubborn. they were both wrong, but still two wrongs will never equal a right. I

still lay the biggest fault at my sister's door step and she knows this. my

Momma gave my sister birth, raised her the best way she knew and was always

there for her in to adult hood when my sister came looking for support. my

sister should have and could have been the first to make the relationship

better, but she never took that first step. then I have my heart attack in

August of 2007, my Momma falls and breaks her other hip one week later. then she

breaks another bone in her thie 2 weeks later. Alzheimer's was slowly creeping

up on our Momma at this time, but we mostly figured it was just age and the

memory not as good as it once was. Well by the first of September when I finally

got home from the hospital, my Momma's mind was pretty much gone. any time a

person has on set Alzheimer's and they got to be put under for a operation, well

they seem to never recover and it makes it worse and speeds it up to boot. now

it seemed at this time I couldn't take care of my Momma any more like I had been

doing before August first when I had the heart attack. Before my Momma's mind

went all the way she had a good idea that this was also true and she never

figured her daughter would ever be there to take care of her in her last years.

my sister won't ever there when things were good, so why would she be there when

she was needed? well even I believed that after all that had happened between

the two ladies, I still felt in my heart that my sister would step up to the

plate and take care of her Mother and brother. She actually did. I'm married,

but my wife can't drive. she does have some site, but still a driver in the

family does help a lot. my sister went to the nursing home ever day my Momma was

there for over a year and the last nine months she lived, my sister brought her

home and took care of her at her own house. my sister will even tell you to day

that part of it was guilt for not trying during all those years that our Momma

had it all together that she didn't try harder. even though she spent 2 solid

years taking care of her Momma with the Alzheimer's, she still wishes she could

have all the good years back. she will tell you that she was a very selfish

person for ignoring her Momma and allowing the problems they had to put a wall

up between them that never came down until the Alzheimer's had it's hooks in

Momma. we will always wonder if Momma knew sister had stepped up and was giving

her the love she deserved or was her mind to far gone to know? You see? no one

has to do like my sister done. you can be the grown up and take control. what

does it really matter who is right or wrong? what matters is showing love and

respect to the lady that gave you birth and raised you to be who you are to day.

of course your Momma made mistakes! maybe she is full of lots of pride as well.

she is your Momma and at least 20 years older then you in most cases. when 2 or

more people can't see eye to eye, then one has to be level headed in the group

and set aside there personal feelings so good sense and progress can be made. my

sister knows now she should have been the grown up and she should have been the

one to show love and respect to her Momma, even if her Momma was more wrong then

right. my sister missed being with her Momma on Mother's day in the past and

when she did show up she was always in a hurry and had other places to be or

wanted to be. you could feel the tension between them when they was together,

because they neither one was going to give any grown or back down. they would

argue about the color of the sky or why a certain food was made wrong or how to

raise kids right. they wasn't ever going to agree because both was stubborn and

prideful to change. this reason here is why my sister to day has many regrets

from the past of not doing the right thing that she could control and be there

for her Momma. neither one patched up there relationship they had for many years

before the disease of Alzheimer's took our Momma's mind. what I wish to make

some of you understand is you who got some what of the same kind of relationship

with your Momma like my sister had, still has time to make it different. the

good book will tell you that God expects us to be peace makers and not make

things worse. this coming Sunday will be Momma's day one more time and doesn't

come back around until next year. how many Momma's will be here with us next

year? I think every day should be Momma's day, but just one day the country says

you should see your Momma on this one special day that is set aside just for

them. the thing I would do for my Momma if she was still here is, go spend the

day with her. have breakfast together, have lunch together and just talk about

the good times. I wouldn't bring anything up that was a sore spot. I wouldn't

let her or me go there and mess up a grate day. I would be the one to take the

high road even if she wouldn't. maybe you live in a state to far away to see her

in person? then make a phone call, write her a letter. send a email. send

flowers. send candy. my Momma loved chocolate. tell her how sorry you are for

all the times you have got up set and not been the grown up. tell her how much

you love her for just being Momma! put aside who is right and who is wrong! be

more adult about it and hug your Momma. If your Momma is dead like mine is, then

do like I'm going to do this next Sunday if you can. my sister and I are going

to the grave site and eat a hamburger right there in memory of our Momma who

loved a good hamburger and could eat one every day. get you a vision in your

mind of patching up the problems you and your Momma have and then your attitude

will change and make it work. don't let another Momma's day go by with neither

one of you making the first step to patch things up. let yesterday's

disagreements go and start over. to day is the rest of your life. memories are

wonderful, but you can't have a successful to morrow if you can't for get all

the wrongs done you in your yesterday's. Be with your Momma this coming Sunday

in any way you can. do it for us who can't no longer be with our Momma's in

person. I know this isn't really a topic about diabetes, but God has layed it

heavy on my heart to tell you and I will always obey my God. What ever you do

with your Momma or for her on Sunday I would love to hear about it if you don't

mind sharing it. A special day is Momma's day, just like Daddy's day that comes

next month.