numbers, what do they mean?

May 19, 2012

Now I have to look at the numbers over and over, mainly for what they call

motivation purposes. here is my weight lost numbers from the beginning the first

of March every other Friday being weigh in day. ok here we go. 317 312 306

302 294 292. the pounds lost goes like, 5 6 4 8 2. the 5, 6,

and 8, makes me very happy and the 4 and 2 makes me wish to smash my talking

scales that lie. I would like 6 to 8 pounds lost every time I weigh! however I

have enough sense to know this isn't the way it works. it is the total picture

that should be what motivates us to continue on the right trail. here is 25

total pounds lost and not 25 gained! this is why I continue to get on my no

where bike every day for a total of 90 minutes. is it hard to do it? well I

would be lying like my talking scales if I said every day is easy. actually the

first 15 minutes is the hardest. this is the time that part of me wants to stop

and walk away, finding some type of excuse that will justify why I did walk away

with out finishing the race of 45 minutes. once I get pass the first third of

the ride it gets easier and then it is easy to remain on and finish. so far I

haven't got off and walked away. Have I thought about it? you bet your boots I

have! these numbers above will show me and you both what can happen when you

stay the course you set out for a goal. my end result in how ever long it takes

is 135 total pounds lost and the no where bike is a huge partner in this under

taking. eating right and exercise are a team and neither one can do it right

with out the help of the other. It's kind of like pulling a heavy wagon. one can

maybe pull for a short time, but will give out and stop, but both can help the

other in the pulling and they won't let the other one give up. to me 25 pounds

in ten weeks doesn't sound like enough. then I look at maybe if the shone was on

the other foot and I gained the same 25 pounds in the past ten weeks! I've got

my wagon rolling right along at a nice smooth clip right now, but the plan still

remains to pick up some speed when I finally get to the down hill slide of the

big mountain I got to clime. the 2 pounds lost in 2 weeks use to at one time in

my life would have caused me to give up and throw it to the wind. the very first

thing I would have done after weighing was tie on the feed bag in order to make

me feel better so I thought. getting all mad and pissed off would have led to

over eating. then after eating enough in that one meal for five meals would have

caused the emotional rollacoster of beating my self up for giving in to the

anger over not losing enough weight after I thought I had worked to hard not to

lose so little. this here is what the over eaters focuses on and the emotions

they go through in a normal day for them. now I look at these numbers and tell

my self that even the 2 pounds makes total pounds lost go from 23 to 25. this is

2 pounds closer to my goad of 135. now I only got 110 left to go. use to back in

my bad eating habits of piles of not so smart choices, I would think on losing

weight and what I had to do it, but I never would get started with the process.

why do to day what you can put off until to morrow? when to morrow rolls around

it is now to day again and the madness goes on and on. while you are slowly

gaining more pounds to lose and slowly destroying your health. I now can look at

the 2 pounds lost as a 4 pound swing. lose 2 or gain 2 equals four. could have

been a 4 pound swing if it had went the other way. I stopped my madness back at

the end of February when I all most bought the farm that night the A Fib kicked

in and made my heart do a dance that didn't impress me in the least. how many of

us over eaters think that all the bad things happens to others and not us? they

always have told me that over eating is caused from emotional problems in our

life. well I thought they who said this was trying to just sell there ideas and

get rich. I also thought they were making fun of over weight people. I also

thought they were throwing the fact in my face that they were thin and I was

fat! I wished to sit on there heads until they died and this way there mouth

would stop moving and no more poop would flow out of it again! They wanted me to

go see the doc who would swing a watch back and forth in front of my blind eyes

so he could put me to sleep and find out why I was so emotional! they said I

over ate because I had hidden anger and built up hate for others who were thin.

I didn't believe none of it then, but I do now see some truths in some of there

thinking now. the person I was the most mad at was little old me for not having

the right attitude or strength to do something about it. so I over ate in order

to cover up the facts. it was easier to eat instead of dealing with the

emotional problems that I really did have. I lied to my self and told my self

that eating when I wished to eat and eating what ever I wished to eat was what

would make me feel better and I deserved it anyway! all this is why for so many

different so called diets I tried would make me mad enough to quit after only

dropping 2 pounds in 2 weeks when I thought I had done it right. when the going

got tough, I didn't get going. I simply folded up like a tent and gave up. I let

my emotions rule my day and I just quit with out even trying. O but how it is

now so different for me! took me only 50 years to get it right! This is the

second time in my adult life that I have got my wagon rolling good. lost 89

pounds back in 1990 using Neutrasystems. cost me about $3,000 with the cost of

the food and my cab fare to and from, but then that program wasn't teaching me

how to live with out the prepackage food they had and make it in the real world.

I gained it all back in a bit over 2 years and some extra to go with it. there

are many easy ways to drop weight in the world we live in to day. they aren't

all safe either and most teach you nothing more then following the directions

they have planed for you to follow. you can lose the pounds doing it the way

they say, but can you keep it off is the question? the hard way and the correct

way is the best way, but it is also the hardest way. you got to break lots of

bad habits of no so smart choices and get hold of your emotions. you got to get

your attitude right and you have to control those choices in your daily life

that only you can control. 90% of all of us have only our selves to blame if we

destroy our health. when the saw bones tells us there is nothing more they can

do for us and we are going to die, only we are mostly the one who has to except

the facts and point the finger at our self. the huge belly that I push around

where ever I go tells the facts in my life past. the scales mostly always tell

the story of the past. health issues mostly will tell a story of out of control

living wrong and making to many bad choices. can't say it enough! smart choices

to day! makes up successes to morrow. like Dave always says, this diabetes

disease is a 24 7 type of life. no one can do seven days at once, but we all can

handle 24 hours making the best choices we can. we will all make a bad choice

here and there, but the key is to not do it to morrow as well. learn from the

bad choices made to day and correct them to morrow. it isn't easy when all your

life food has controlled you like it does for most over eater's. live to eat was

how I lived most of my life and looky here where it has landed me at the young

age of 55! I use to have the excuse that God made me the way I am and I can't

change the way he made me. god didn't make any of us to make bad choices in our

daily walk. he actually says in the good book that our bodies is his temple and

should be treated as such. it is only another excuse we humans can find to lay

the blame on some one else or something else. no one likes to point the finger

of blame at them self. I had to point my own finger back at me in order to get

where I am to day. 25 pounds less of me to day then was there on March first all

because I figured out I was all along the reason for most of my problems with

over eating and not taking control of those things that I can control. it is

just to cool! makes me wonder every day why did it take me so long to figure out

the blame was all my baby? I look at it like this. 25 pounds in only ten weeks

means, 125 pounds in one year. I like the sound of this huge number. I can look

back on the past 2 weeks and I found 22 reasons why I only could have just lost

2 pounds. it only takes being honest with one's self and not blaming other

things. I make notes of this and put it in a note book that is my diabetes book

of why when and where. I will look at that paper of why and what did I do to

slow down the weight lost and I will learn from it and do better next time in 2

weeks. we learn as we go through life and we make better choices from the

learning. I believe they call this growth or maybe even growing up. I spent all

my life growing out, instead of growing up! What does your weight lost chart

look like? how have you done over the past ten weeks? let's look it over and see

how well you have done. I got a friend who is only 31 and now weighs 437! this

could have been me if I hadn't have got control of my life, but then again I may