Another hospital visit last week

September 3, 2008

9/2 not a post you prolly want to see but i must tell. i was put back

in the hospital last week on thursday while trying to see my

oncologist. they basically have been trying to tell my parents i'm

dying from my pulmonary fibrosis. i think it's hit them. they want me

to talk to my sis while she is visiting about a living will. i am

ready to face death i can't stand being in this pain im in. i can't

stand crying cause im in pain and i cant breathe anymore. i'm ready

to accept whatever is above. i have little time left i know it so i'm

planning on sticking round long as i can i promise. it wasnt the

cancer that got me it was the chemo so please be careful. i dont want

to scare anyone either, so i'll stop. i just got home and i'm on no

pain management cause they want the higher dosage of pain meds to

leave my system i'm in so much pain.

9/3 this morning i've been able to hop back on my regular pain meds

(fentenyal 25's & morphine (breakthrough)- but i was getting diladin

iv at the hospital every 3 hours on the dot while i was in there.

with breakthrough doses as needed. it sure doesn't give the same kind

of rush that i loved with the diladin flushing all the pain away. i

was more comfterable at the hospital. i didn't sleep a wink last

night. to expand on more detail i have a chest tube placed they are

trying to expand my left lung and my right lung is starting to slowly

collapsed but as of yesterday it was stable. in a couple weeks i

follow up w/ lung surgeons/i am glad my sister is coming to visit

maybe i need my sisterly love to help give me life boost i need. i

don't want to sit in bed the next how so ever months on pallative

care, though i am considering it so my parents won't have to burden

about things. i want to make it easy though it won't be easy. i just

want to be held in someone elses arms and say its okay to cry its

okay to be in pain i love you lots and it's okay to let go when you

feel ready. my family has never pushed religion on me but talking to

this chaplin at the one hopsital i was at made me realize there is

something else on the other side. he told me they loved me no matter

what happens i believe him. my moms running my errands today picking

up prescriptions and my money order for a bill i could care less

about and she is meeting with my caseworker for my medicaid this

afternoon. i love my family so much i love everybody.

kimberly/23/north ridgeville ohio

2 yr non hodgkins lymphoma survivor

2 yr post birthday autologus transplant survivor

june 2008 pulmonary fibrosis due to chemo

july 2008 hospitalization

august 2008 hospitalization (got released 9/2)

September 3, 2008

, you show great courage in this crisis ,which is inspirational. This near 80-year-old man weeps that so young a person is dealt such a terible hand. I would stand up and take your place if I could. God bless you. Jack79/IPF - UIP/dx06/05 Maine

Another hospital visit last week

9/2 not a post you prolly want to see but i must tell. i was put back in the hospital last week on thursday while trying to see my oncologist. they basically have been trying to tell my parents i'm dying from my pulmonary fibrosis. i think it's hit them. they want me to talk to my sis while she is visiting about a living will. i am ready to face death i can't stand being in this pain im in. i can't stand crying cause im in pain and i cant breathe anymore. i'm ready to accept whatever is above. i have little time left i know it so i'm planning on sticking round long as i can i promise. it wasnt the cancer that got me it was the chemo so please be careful. i dont want to scare anyone either, so i'll stop. i just got home and i'm on no pain management cause they want the higher dosage of pain meds to leave my system i'm in so much pain. 9/3 this morning i've been able to hop back on my regular pain

meds (fentenyal 25's & morphine (breakthrough) - but i was getting diladin iv at the hospital every 3 hours on the dot while i was in there. with breakthrough doses as needed. it sure doesn't give the same kind of rush that i loved with the diladin flushing all the pain away. i was more comfterable at the hospital. i didn't sleep a wink last night. to expand on more detail i have a chest tube placed they are trying to expand my left lung and my right lung is starting to slowly collapsed but as of yesterday it was stable. in a couple weeks i follow up w/ lung surgeons/i am glad my sister is coming to visit maybe i need my sisterly love to help give me life boost i need. i don't want to sit in bed the next how so ever months on pallative care, though i am considering it so my parents won't have to burden about things. i want to make it easy though it won't be easy. i just want to be held in

someone elses arms and say its okay to cry its okay to be in pain i love you lots and it's okay to let go when you feel ready. my family has never pushed religion on me but talking to this chaplin at the one hopsital i was at made me realize there is something else on the other side. he told me they loved me no matter what happens i believe him. my moms running my errands today picking up prescriptions and my money order for a bill i could care less about and she is meeting with my caseworker for my medicaid this afternoon. i love my family so much i love everybody.kimberly/23/ north ridgeville ohio2 yr non hodgkins lymphoma survivor2 yr post birthday autologus transplant survivorjune 2008 pulmonary fibrosis due to chemojuly 2008 hospitalizationaugust 2008 hospitalization (got released 9/2)

September 3, 2008

Hi Kim, Your post has quickened my heart. I do hope you know you are not alone, Jesus is right there with you. Some say they just don't know how to pray well close your eyes (if that makes you comfortable) and Talk to Him as if He were your best friend. Ask for forgiveness for your sins and strength to endure this rough time in your life. When I am having a rough time I call on Him for strength and peace. I ALWAYS feel better knowing when this life is through there is Heaven waiting. I know He lives. I know He listens to our prayers.God Bless your sweet heart. I am praying for you. Please take care of you. We are all here for you. Love and Prayers, Peggy IPF 2004, Florida"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." 9/2 not a post you prolly want to see but i must tell. i was put back in the hospital last week on thursday while trying to see my oncologist. they basically have been trying to tell my parents i'm dying from my pulmonary fibrosis. i think it's hit them. they want me to talk to my sis while she is visiting about a living will. i am ready to face death i can't stand being in this pain im in. i can't stand crying cause im in pain and i cant breathe anymore. i'm ready to accept whatever is above. i have little time left i know it so i'm planning on sticking round long as i can i promise. it wasnt the cancer that got me it was the chemo so please be careful. i dont want to scare anyone either, so i'll stop. i just got home and i'm on no pain management cause they want the higher dosage of pain meds to leave my system i'm in so much pain. 9/3 this morning i've been able to hop back on my regular pain meds (fentenyal 25's & morphine (breakthrough)- but i was getting diladin iv at the hospital every 3 hours on the dot while i was in there. with breakthrough doses as needed. it sure doesn't give the same kind of rush that i loved with the diladin flushing all the pain away. i was more comfterable at the hospital. i didn't sleep a wink last night. to expand on more detail i have a chest tube placed they are trying to expand my left lung and my right lung is starting to slowly collapsed but as of yesterday it was stable. in a couple weeks i follow up w/ lung surgeons/i am glad my sister is coming to visit maybe i need my sisterly love to help give me life boost i need. i don't want to sit in bed the next how so ever months on pallative care, though i am considering it so my parents won't have to burden about things. i want to make it easy though it won't be easy. i just want to be held in someone elses arms and say its okay to cry its okay to be in pain i love you lots and it's okay to let go when you feel ready. my family has never pushed religion on me but talking to this chaplin at the one hopsital i was at made me realize there is something else on the other side. he told me they loved me no matter what happens i believe him. my moms running my errands today picking up prescriptions and my money order for a bill i could care less about and she is meeting with my caseworker for my medicaid this afternoon. i love my family so much i love everybody.kimberly/23/north ridgeville ohio2 yr non hodgkins lymphoma survivor2 yr post birthday autologus transplant survivorjune 2008 pulmonary fibrosis due to chemojuly 2008 hospitalizationaugust 2008 hospitalization (got released 9/2)

September 3, 2008

I don't post alot as I have been having my own issues. I just want you

to know . It is okay to cry .It is okay to feel and do whatever You need to do .

We get it. I believe that we go to heaven when we die and I am ready. I am

heartbroken that you are so young and ill. I will pray for you and your family.

We all are holding you ,we all love you, and it is okay to let go when you are

ready , but only God knows when that is.

IPF 2/07 Raynuads Sjogren Sclerodrema IL

September 3, 2008

Oh Kim ... I wish I could be there to hold you in my arms and tell you all the things you need to hear. I am there is Spirit and I do tell you it's ok to let go when you are ready. You will know.

There are others here on the board who are in transition and I pray for each one of you.

I especially hope your pain is controlled. That at least gives you the relief to talk and take care of last minute details.

Peace be with you Kim.

Lots of love,

MamaSher, age 70. IPF 3-06, OR. NasturtiumsDon't fret about tomorrow, God is already there!

Another hospital visit last week

9/2 not a post you prolly want to see but i must tell. i was put back in the hospital last week on thursday while trying to see my oncologist. they basically have been trying to tell my parents i'm dying from my pulmonary fibrosis. i think it's hit them. they want me to talk to my sis while she is visiting about a living will. i am ready to face death i can't stand being in this pain im in. i can't stand crying cause im in pain and i cant breathe anymore. i'm ready to accept whatever is above. i have little time left i know it so i'm planning on sticking round long as i can i promise. it wasnt the cancer that got me it was the chemo so please be careful. i dont want to scare anyone either, so i'll stop. i just got home and i'm on no pain management cause they want the higher dosage of pain meds to leave my system i'm in so much pain. 9/3 this morning i've been able to hop back on my regular pain meds (fentenyal 25's & morphine (breakthrough)- but i was getting diladin iv at the hospital every 3 hours on the dot while i was in there. with breakthrough doses as needed. it sure doesn't give the same kind of rush that i loved with the diladin flushing all the pain away. i was more comfterable at the hospital. i didn't sleep a wink last night. to expand on more detail i have a chest tube placed they are trying to expand my left lung and my right lung is starting to slowly collapsed but as of yesterday it was stable. in a couple weeks i follow up w/ lung surgeons/i am glad my sister is coming to visit maybe i need my sisterly love to help give me life boost i need. i don't want to sit in bed the next how so ever months on pallative care, though i am considering it so my parents won't have to burden about things. i want to make it easy though it won't be easy. i just want to be held in someone elses arms and say its okay to cry its okay to be in pain i love you lots and it's okay to let go when you feel ready. my family has never pushed religion on me but talking to this chaplin at the one hopsital i was at made me realize there is something else on the other side. he told me they loved me no matter what happens i believe him. my moms running my errands today picking up prescriptions and my money order for a bill i could care less about and she is meeting with my caseworker for my medicaid this afternoon. i love my family so much i love everybody.kimberly/23/north ridgeville ohio2 yr non hodgkins lymphoma survivor2 yr post birthday autologus transplant survivorjune 2008 pulmonary fibrosis due to chemojuly 2008 hospitalizationaugust 2008 hospitalization (got released 9/2)

September 3, 2008

Kim

I am so sorry you are in so much pain and distress.

I feel in awe of all that you have gone through in

your short life. you are just a baby. you talk

about pallitive care and trying to spare your parents

some burden. please know that it is very important

for your parents to be able to do everything they can

to help you at this time. whatever fatigue

or tiredness they have now and will go through will pass

and they will recover physically but will relive and

analyse forever if they could have done more. let them

or your sister reassure you.

as for what's on the other side. i personally believe

we go to another dimension as everything in the world

seems to recycle but since its not provan we can choose

to believe whatever we want. my dad before he passed

said that he didn't believe but didn't mind at all if he

was proved wrong. i personally feel my intuition is

much stonger since my dad and sister moved to the other

side. intuition/instinct i believe is your soul or higher

self trying to guide you.

love and respect

may, 49, uip 0606

glasgow, scotland

>

> 9/2 not a post you prolly want to see but i must tell. i was put

back

> in the hospital last week on thursday while trying to see my

> oncologist. they basically have been trying to tell my parents i'm

> dying from my pulmonary fibrosis. i think it's hit them. they want

me

> to talk to my sis while she is visiting about a living will. i am

> ready to face death i can't stand being in this pain im in. i can't

> stand crying cause im in pain and i cant breathe anymore. i'm ready

> to accept whatever is above. i have little time left i know it so

i'm

> planning on sticking round long as i can i promise. it wasnt the

> cancer that got me it was the chemo so please be careful. i dont

want

> to scare anyone either, so i'll stop. i just got home and i'm on no

> pain management cause they want the higher dosage of pain meds to

> leave my system i'm in so much pain.

>

> 9/3 this morning i've been able to hop back on my regular pain meds

> (fentenyal 25's & morphine (breakthrough)- but i was getting

diladin

> iv at the hospital every 3 hours on the dot while i was in there.

> with breakthrough doses as needed. it sure doesn't give the same

kind

> of rush that i loved with the diladin flushing all the pain away. i

> was more comfterable at the hospital. i didn't sleep a wink last

> night. to expand on more detail i have a chest tube placed they are

> trying to expand my left lung and my right lung is starting to

slowly

> collapsed but as of yesterday it was stable. in a couple weeks i

> follow up w/ lung surgeons/i am glad my sister is coming to visit

> maybe i need my sisterly love to help give me life boost i need. i

> don't want to sit in bed the next how so ever months on pallative

> care, though i am considering it so my parents won't have to burden

> about things. i want to make it easy though it won't be easy. i

just

> want to be held in someone elses arms and say its okay to cry its

> okay to be in pain i love you lots and it's okay to let go when you

> feel ready. my family has never pushed religion on me but talking

to

> this chaplin at the one hopsital i was at made me realize there is

> something else on the other side. he told me they loved me no

matter

> what happens i believe him. my moms running my errands today

picking

> up prescriptions and my money order for a bill i could care less

> about and she is meeting with my caseworker for my medicaid this

> afternoon. i love my family so much i love everybody.

>

> kimberly/23/north ridgeville ohio

> 2 yr non hodgkins lymphoma survivor

> 2 yr post birthday autologus transplant survivor

> june 2008 pulmonary fibrosis due to chemo

> july 2008 hospitalization

> august 2008 hospitalization (got released 9/2)

>

September 3, 2008

Sweet Kim, My heart breaks when I read

your post.

You have been fighting so hard for so long and you are so very young.

I cannot imagine what you are going throught but will pray for you

to be in less pain and that you can continue to be strong.

Z fibriotic NSIP/05

Z 64,

fibriotic NSIP/o5/PA

And “mild”

PH/10/07 and Reynaud’s too!!

No, NSIP was not

self-inflicted…I never smoked!

Potter,

reader,carousel lover and MomMom to

Darah

and Sara

“I’m gonna

be iron like a lion in Zion” Bob Marley

Vinca

Minor-periwinkle is my flower

wrote:

9/2 not a post you prolly want to see but i must tell. i was put