last 2 CaringBridge updates from MO

[Guest guest]

" ...Reminds me, have we heard from ? She continues also to be in my

prayers. "

Yes, Sweetpea, this just in from 's CB site ( & Jim & I are joining

you in those prayers):

www.caringbridge.org/visit/melaniejs

....um, actually, as her prior post mentions " different " things, I'd better

start with a journal entry from 7/7/07. Sounds like she's going through

QUITE a LOT. I hope many of us in PSC Support can sign her CaringBridge

guestbook & continue to show our concern & give her encouragement & love!

Maureen

From Jett-Scherder's CaringBridge site:

" SATURDAY, JULY 07, 2007 07:16 PM, CDT

I hope you all had a great 4th! Mine was uneventful and perfect. I stayed

home and got some things done around the condo and I felt good for doing it.

I now have a better set up for when friends or family want/need to stay with

me. Yea!

Then on Thursday I went with friends to Lake of the Ozarks (to hang with

them in a condo that overlooks the water) despite my fear of being

discovered (I tend to hide that I'm ALL that sick - it's embarrassing). I

prayed that I'd get some reprieve while gone so I wouldn't be a bummer and

be humiliated all at once. I am happy to report that aside from a few

glitches with fatigue and breathing I only had one episode where the pain in

the ol' liver couldn't be ignored. I took a pain pill last night, and still

had insomnia but at least I wasn't in pain anymore!!!

My friends that invited me are amazing! They are some of the nicest people

you'll ever meet. Between the company and the wonderful food they all

provided I had a great time. It was just what the doctor ordered on the

heels of the rough ride in Cleveland! Thank you guys, and I look forward to

a day when I can do something nice for you, too!!!!

Now for a peek into the future...I will be returning to CCF on 7/16 - 7/18

for further testing and a meeting with the hepatologist and transplant

surgeons. My friend Tabitha will be making the trip, also. The surgeons have

reviewed her MRI from and now they'd like to get a CT scan of her

liver and do some blood work. The CT films will then be sent on to Germany

where, she was told, they would create a 3D image of her liver. This, of

course, does not mean that she is going to be my donor, it simply means that

they want to see for themselves as to whether or not she can safely be

considered. I am so grateful that she is willing to fly to CCF and continue

testing, and she says she's willing to travel for the surgery. She and her

husband have been wonderful and willing to do whatever it takes to get this

done. Please remember them in your prayers! I thank God for their gracious

offers regardless of whether either one of them become my donor...I feel the

same way about my other two friends that offered. I am blessed!!!

Monday I go for my pelvic ultrasound and hope to have results within a

couple of days. I'll write more when I know more.

In the meantime my MELD score is still a 7, but my INR is on the rise. We'll

see where it is by the time I get to CCF.

Must go and get some rest.

Hugs,

"

____________________________________

" MONDAY, JULY 09, 2007 10:16 PM, CDT

I had my ultrasound today and my right ovary only has one remaining cyst on

it and the tech said it was small enough that they are no longer concerned

about it. However, my left ovary...oh, wait...she couldn't find my left

ovary. Yep, I've now gone from non-functioning body parts to vanishing ones.

Nope, never a dull moment!!! The tech said she would tell the doc that

hunting for it was very painful (to me and if she'd hunted much longer - to

her!) and fruitless -- the doc will call me and let me know what she wants

me to do. With my luck the blood supply to it got cut off and it's been

hanging out dead for months, perhaps years, like my gall bladder and

appendix! Although, I've never had one eventually disappear -- but it does

beat the heck out of having it surgically removed! :-)

Now that we've covered the really strange news, here's some strange and

unnerving news. I discovered this morning that I have two growths on my

upper spine that are rather large. The largest is at least 2 " x 1 " . I called

the doc, but couldn't be seen today since I had my ultrasound scheduled

already. I will see him on Wed. afternoon.

I must admit I didn't take this new discovery well. I put my head in my

hands and wondered, aloud, how much more I can take. I quietly reminded God

that he promised he would not give us more than we can handle and I'm

starting to feel overwhelmed.

In the next two weeks I will have my ovaries, bladder, liver, breasts (and

now possibly my cervical spine) tested to rule out cancer. Honestly, I'm

getting tired of dodging bullets mostly because my life revolves around

testing and doctors and I feel like I'm wasting my precious time. I know

that God is carrying me through this and has been for quite some time; I am

alive simply because God thinks I should be. But, I feel that if my time is

controlled by all negative medical stuff I'm wasting the time that God has

given me servicing my ailments rather than my purpose for being here. How

can I be a good representative for God if I'm always talking about all that

ails me? I want people to see the fun, loving side of me and the joy I find

in life despite my health. Now, the only people who spend a lot of time with

me are the doctors, nursing staff and a few patients.

My roommate at CCF reminded me, when I got down about my MELD score, that

God has a plan for me and to keep the faith. She was very sweet. She told me

that I had an impact on her despite the fact that we'd only been roommates

for a few days. She said maybe God had others for me to meet exactly where

I'm at in life...pre-transplant. I hope she is right. If there's a purpose

for the delay and the sudden pouring of other health conditions then it's

not a waste. But if all I'm doing is servicing the negative things in life

and not spreading the positive...well, it's going to make me a bit crabby if

I'm not careful!

Enough of the soap opera for now. Hope you all are doing well and keeping

the faith in your own lives. I went and saw Evan Almighty the other night

(yes, it was good) and it was a reminder that God knows and has a plan, even

when we don't. I'll try to remember that if you all will!

Much love,

"