Finding an understanding partner

[Guest guest]

You know, it might actually be something to consider. I love the idea of having

a man that understands what I am going through with my weight issues and for me

to understand him. I say that because I have had men in my past who have been

skinny rails and just don't get it... and want to keep feeding me crap thinking

its not a big deal... I want someone who understands that I am going to have

some flab and emotionally get its impact on me... and not care because it's

there... Or if I am having a bad day can help me through the eating issue

because they too will need me and understand. My weight is the one place were I

have had the hardest time trying to find someone to be sensitive for me. Not to

feel sorry, but just to understand, I hope you know what I am talking about.

J Tro wrote: Maybe we should start a new list

" Gastric Bypass Match.com "

he he!

Jackie in CA

Mike wrote:

Sure fix me up. I'm always up for a day/night out. I'm not sure if

there are things that are really important but there are things I

find attractive.

Blonde isn't one of them. Actually I've always been strangely

attracted to black hair and blue eyes. Even typing it is exciting.

Weird I know. My ex wife was not well endowed physically. It's not a

requirement.

Sure I find women attractive who other guys fawn over, the model

types, the ones it almost hurts to look at they're so hot. But that's

certainly not a requirement and it's gotta have a lot behind it for

anything other than a quick drool.

I don't really do the whole jealous thing very well. I believe if I

found that the woman was cheating, considering cheating, etc. I'd

probably just walk away, far away, quickly. Not knowing what you want

or wanting everything is not attractive.

Tall or muscular women are attractive, but then I've dated some

rather small, demure women too who I've thought were very attractive.

I think this might be a red herring because hey, they're a woman

right? Where's the problem?

A job. Maybe I should say a career is even more attractive. I like to

spend money on myself and on friends/dates but I don't like to be

with someone who feels guilty that they can't reciprocate. I

understand people have tough times, go to school, etc. I've had all

that myself. This is what I prefer not what is mandatory.

Education. I usually am most attracted to completed education.

Although someone who is very into education and positive about

getting it completed is fine. Something like a bachelor's or greater.

My father is a professor, my mother an MSW, my brother bailed on his

masters/phd in visual psychology (notice I seem to not have a lot of

respect for this).

People who take advantage of their situation and manipulate " the man "

or " a system " they're involved in. If they get free education from

work and abuse it, sweet. If they work for a clothing store and use

the discount to wear the nicest stuff, even though I might not like

it, still sweet. Again, sort of weird to admire but the alternative

is to have opportunities available to you and not to take advantage

of them.

Not big into tattoos or piercings. A small or some small,tastful

tattoos are fine. The back ones are sexy I suppose. Earings, maybe a

belly button one too, okay but I've got a 14 year old daughter. Do I

want someone around on a regular basis who is going to make " an

impression " on her?

Self-confidence, self-deprecation, etc. Can she take a joke she tells

against/on herself?

I had a girlfriend in college. She was beautiful and a few years

older than me. She'd drive up from Battle Creek on the weekends and

we wouldn't go out much (yes, we'd be at home the whole time doing

what you're thinking). I'm not sure if it was bored, sick of, etc.

but I wanted to take her out and enjoy friends and stuff with her

sometimes. Of course my college buddies thought I was crazy. After a

few months she would want me to call her during the week for hours on

end, very expensive at the time because long distance cost money.

She'd say, " Howdy stranger " to me. Not cool. I'd tell her she could

go to the bar or movies with local guys but that we would still be

exclusive if there was no first base sort of stuff right? Maybe

that's too liberal. I dunno. I guess I'm no good at long distant

relationships. Anyway, I got sick of the stranger stuff after I'd

seen her a few days or a week prior and I couldn't get away from the

2-3 jobs and full time college I was into.

I've known women who are afraid of urban areas and ethnically diverse

neighborhoods. That's part of my life, better embrace that. On the

flip side I like visiting the country and enjoy cabins, lakes,

camping, roughing it, etc. but only for a weekend or maybe a week or

two if it's well planned. It's not a lifestyle I'm comfortable with

long term.

I detest country music, NASCAR, rodeos, motor-cross, and truck pulls.

I've never understood people who say they dislike liars and thieves

in online/other profiles. Who likes liars or thieves? I don't like

people who don't say thank you and please especially when someone is

holding the door for them or something common like that. Common

courtesy is attractive.

I had a co-worker who, for years, would say, " I seen " . It's purely a

pet peeve of mine but that drives me nuts. Most times I'd convince

myself he had simply included the contraction " `ve " but that I hadn't

heard it, but after a few years I knew that wasn't possible. I don't

like the thoughts/phrases that rotate around " living for today " .

That's always seemed like an excuse to screw around. I don't have a

problem with spontaneity but I have children and they depend on me

and my being around, fit, available, etc. Getting injured, arrested,

etc. is never attractive. I know that's not what is necessarily meant

by the ideas here but it's what I hear, just don't say it. Planning

for the future is attractive. There's probably other pet peeves but

those are just things I have a personal issue with that a woman

shouldn't bother with or worry about (can you say, " Howdy stranger? " )

I enjoy walking, biking, travel. I spend most of my free time

enjoying my children. I actually like my job. I like living in

downtown Grand Rapids. Enjoy dinners, plays, concerts, the symphony,

opera, broadway/civic theater and wine tastings. I appreciate someone

who takes pride in their accomplishments.

Age. With completed education you're sort of talking someone in their

early 20s at least I guess. Then if you figure in a career and some

life experiences to spice things up maybe a few more years so mid-

20s. I'm a pretty old guy for that too so maybe we should just say

late 20s. I probably don't have a problem going a half dozen or so

years higher up from me either.

Kids are okay. Divorced is okay. Okay means I don't care. I guess if

there's 3+ kids then it might get sort of difficult/weird trying to

truck them, my kids, and us around considering long term relationship

sorts of stuff but hey, I've never been there so maybe it's not a big

deal.

I don't do separated, engaged, " having problems " , etc. I don't have a

problem being interested in a girl that has a boyfriend though, that

sort of competition stuff is okay with me. A lot of their boyfriends

seem to have a problem with it though, go figure. I don't get into

the whole girl=property stuff. If the girl wants to date someone else

while we're exclusive then we're not exclusive, end of story. Of

course if she's going around on her boyfriend then either she's not

being honest or she's confused so I'm not sure that's something

attractive for the long term. If it sounds like I'm waffling then

you're reading correctly.

I don't have much time and I don't mind someone who doesn't have much

time. It's not important that we're together every night or even

every week. I think THAT is very hard to find but would be

nice/refreshing, someone who like the idea that they're being thought

of, considered, briefly, but not necessarily being physically in the

presence of.

I feel as if I'm rambling now. Maybe email me direct with more

personal stuff or prosepects, and remember, you ask!

Wow that's a lot isn't it? Needless to say this doesn't run through

my head as a first impression.

Mike in GR

Hey everyone,

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > I just had to write and tell you all that i bought

> > myself

> > > > a

> > > > > > bike

> > > > > > > > yesterday. It is a mountain bike and it's silver and

> red.

> > I

> > > > can

> > > > > > now

> > > > > > > > go riding around the lakes where I live. I have not

> > ridden

> > > a

> > > > > > bike

> > > > > > > > for years because I was " too heavy " . I test rided it

> > today.

> > > > It

> > > > > > was

> > > > > > > > so much fun. i am really getting into this exercise

> > thing.

> > > > Ride

> > > > > > on

> > > > > > > > cowgirl. hehehe.

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > I also bought a new bra. I have gone down a cup

size

> > > > (about

> > > > > > > bloody

> > > > > > > > time too.hehehe). I have gone from a size 24E to a

> size

> > > > 18DD.

> > > > > > > > WOOHOO. I am so excited. The new bra is just so

comfy.

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > Anyways that's my news for the day. just had to

> share.

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > Australia

> > > > > > > > > 321/242/176

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been

removed]

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > ---------------------------------

> > > > > > > > > Talk is cheap. Use Yahoo! Messenger to make PC-to-

> Phone

> > > > > calls.

> > > > > > > > Great rates starting at 1¢/min.

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been

removed]

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > ---------------------------------

> > > > > > > Talk is cheap. Use Yahoo! Messenger to make PC-to-Phone

> > > > calls.

> > > > > > Great rates starting at 1¢/min.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >