a sick feeling in my stomach

[Guest guest]

my neighbor,(P) that I strongly suspect of being BPD and I KNOW is an

alcoholic, lost his partner (S) to an unexpected death. I have a restraining

order against P and S was one of my best friends until his partner started

escalating raging behavior toward me over the course of 18 months which

culminated in the restraining order. I am heartbroken over the death of S. He

and I were just beginning to speak again. We started to speak a little after my

husband passed away back in November. S knew on some level that his partner was

not quite right, but he was financially dependent on P and an alcoholic as well.

Now just days after his passing all of a sudden one of our neighbors isn't

answering my calls or texts. P has been known to try to stir up trouble for me

in the past and I am afraid he is doing it again, because he is angry that his

partner had started speaking to me again. I had just been considering offering

to have the restraining order overturned, IF he would get a psychiatric

evaluation and counseling possibly for anger management and if diagnosed BPD he

should be treated for that. I hadn't approached him about it yet via S, but I

was starting to think about it. Now that S is gone, I won't even consider it. As

most of us know, BPD's and other Personality Disordered persons are usually

considerably worse when they are grieving or feeling threatened with other

abandonment triggers.

I am feeling paranoid that P has done something to try to turn my neighbors

against me. I am sad that S is gone and I can't take part in the grieving with

his family.

I guess I want to know if I am being too paranoid?? What do my fellow KO's think

of this?

C

[Guest guest]

Me personally, I'd give it more time before I'd conclude that a person I'd sent

an e-mail to (or even a couple of emails to) was upset with me or that their

lack of response had anything to do with me personally. My first thought is

usually that something very unexpected and urgent came up in the person's life

that they needed to deal with and its taking all their attention.

So, my suggestion is to give it more time.

-Annie

>

> my neighbor,(P) that I strongly suspect of being BPD and I KNOW is an

alcoholic, lost his partner (S) to an unexpected death. I have a restraining

order against P and S was one of my best friends until his partner started

escalating raging behavior toward me over the course of 18 months which

culminated in the restraining order. I am heartbroken over the death of S. He

and I were just beginning to speak again. We started to speak a little after my

husband passed away back in November. S knew on some level that his partner was

not quite right, but he was financially dependent on P and an alcoholic as well.

>

> Now just days after his passing all of a sudden one of our neighbors isn't

answering my calls or texts. P has been known to try to stir up trouble for me

in the past and I am afraid he is doing it again, because he is angry that his

partner had started speaking to me again. I had just been considering offering

to have the restraining order overturned, IF he would get a psychiatric

evaluation and counseling possibly for anger management and if diagnosed BPD he

should be treated for that. I hadn't approached him about it yet via S, but I

was starting to think about it. Now that S is gone, I won't even consider it. As

most of us know, BPD's and other Personality Disordered persons are usually

considerably worse when they are grieving or feeling threatened with other

abandonment triggers.

>

> I am feeling paranoid that P has done something to try to turn my neighbors

against me. I am sad that S is gone and I can't take part in the grieving with

his family.

>

> I guess I want to know if I am being too paranoid?? What do my fellow KO's

think of this?

>

> C

>

[Guest guest]

Me personally, I'd give it more time before I'd conclude that a person I'd sent

an e-mail to (or even a couple of emails to) was upset with me or that their

lack of response had anything to do with me personally. My first thought is

usually that something very unexpected and urgent came up in the person's life

that they needed to deal with and its taking all their attention.

So, my suggestion is to give it more time.

-Annie

>

> my neighbor,(P) that I strongly suspect of being BPD and I KNOW is an

alcoholic, lost his partner (S) to an unexpected death. I have a restraining

order against P and S was one of my best friends until his partner started

escalating raging behavior toward me over the course of 18 months which

culminated in the restraining order. I am heartbroken over the death of S. He

and I were just beginning to speak again. We started to speak a little after my

husband passed away back in November. S knew on some level that his partner was

not quite right, but he was financially dependent on P and an alcoholic as well.

>

> Now just days after his passing all of a sudden one of our neighbors isn't

answering my calls or texts. P has been known to try to stir up trouble for me

in the past and I am afraid he is doing it again, because he is angry that his

partner had started speaking to me again. I had just been considering offering

to have the restraining order overturned, IF he would get a psychiatric

evaluation and counseling possibly for anger management and if diagnosed BPD he

should be treated for that. I hadn't approached him about it yet via S, but I

was starting to think about it. Now that S is gone, I won't even consider it. As

most of us know, BPD's and other Personality Disordered persons are usually

considerably worse when they are grieving or feeling threatened with other

abandonment triggers.

>

> I am feeling paranoid that P has done something to try to turn my neighbors

against me. I am sad that S is gone and I can't take part in the grieving with

his family.

>

> I guess I want to know if I am being too paranoid?? What do my fellow KO's

think of this?

>

> C

>

[Guest guest]

C,

Without more information, it seems premature to conclude that

your neighbor has been turned against you because calls and

texts aren't being answered for a few days. There are lots of

reasons why calls might not be returned right away. Perhaps your

neighbor is away. Perhaps your neighbor's cell phone got

misplaced or isn't working. Perhaps something else is going on

and your neighbor is just too busy or tired to return calls

right now. Maybe your neighbor is grieving for S or is just

shocked by his unexpected death. Sometimes people are just not

in the mood for social calls and put them off until they're

feeling more like talking. Unless you have additional reason to

believe P is doing something against you now and that the

neighbor in question would be likely to be swayed by P, I'd say

you're being somewhat paranoid.

At 11:08 PM 04/17/2012 CmeBfree wrote:

>my neighbor,(P) that I strongly suspect of being BPD and I

>KNOW is an alcoholic, lost his partner (S) to an unexpected

>death. I have a restraining order against P and S was one of

>my best friends until his partner started escalating raging

>behavior toward me over the course of 18 months which

>culminated in the restraining order. I am heartbroken over the

>death of S. He and I were just beginning to speak again. We

>started to speak a little after my husband passed away back in

>November. S knew on some level that his partner was not quite

>right, but he was financially dependent on P and an alcoholic

>as well.

>

>Now just days after his passing all of a sudden one of our

>neighbors isn't answering my calls or texts. P has been known

>to try to stir up trouble for me in the past and I am afraid he

>is doing it again, because he is angry that his partner had

>started speaking to me again. I had just been considering

>offering to have the restraining order overturned, IF he would

>get a psychiatric evaluation and counseling possibly for anger

>management and if diagnosed BPD he should be treated for that.

>I hadn't approached him about it yet via S, but I was starting

>to think about it. Now that S is gone, I won't even consider

>it. As most of us know, BPD's and other Personality Disordered

>persons are usually considerably worse when they are grieving

>or feeling threatened with other abandonment triggers.

>

>I am feeling paranoid that P has done something to try to turn

>my neighbors against me. I am sad that S is gone and I can't

>take part in the grieving with his family.

>

>I guess I want to know if I am being too paranoid?? What do my

>fellow KO's think of this?

>

>C

--

Katrina

[Guest guest]

I think I just got confuesed on who S was and P, etc. Glad you have it under

control. Isn't it amazing how we manage to have all these unhealthy people

around us? I am a magnet for them myself. That is why I am trying my best to

hang with the people that encourage me and lift me up. Thank you for taking the

time to respond, and make sure you take care of you!

Bill Hade

billfunnyman@...

Re: a sick feeling in my stomach

Bill,

I was never going to contact him. I was, had S not died, start feeling out S to

see if HE thought that P would make the effort to receive counseling as a term

of lifting his restraining order. I am aware of how restraining orders work. I

know that I cannot say anything directly to P nor he to me, and I have taken

great measures with my actions and words to see that NOTHING I say or do could

be construed as an attempt at communication. Let me be clear, I DO NOT LIKE THIS

MAN. He has a problem and had he been given an order to receive anger management

counseling, as I had requested, in the first place, we might not have ever

gotten to the point of a restraining order, but instead, the courts chose to put

this man in alcohol awareness classes, which is a joke, because he had already

gone thru that program once before, because he was busted for DUI. I do not wish

to ever be this mans friend again or part of his life, but the seriousness of a

restraining order does weigh heavily on me. Even though the courts agreed with

me, that his behavior was escalating and disturbing, it doesn't mean that I

liked having to do that. The restraining order isn't just on HIS record, it is

on mine as well.

All that being said, it is a moot point. Now that S is gone and P is up to his

old tricks, I will never consider it. The thing that sucks is that having a

restraining order, doesn't protect you from that person spreading malignant and

false information to your friends and neighbors. Using the pity generated with

his partners passing is not out of a BPD's pervue either. I know, I sat there

and watched my own nada spread the most atrocious lies after her husband passed.

C

> >

> > my neighbor,(P) that I strongly suspect of being BPD and I KNOW is an

alcoholic, lost his partner (S) to an unexpected death. I have a restraining

order against P and S was one of my best friends until his partner started

escalating raging behavior toward me over the course of 18 months which

culminated in the restraining order. I am heartbroken over the death of S. He

and I were just beginning to speak again. We started to speak a little after my

husband passed away back in November. S knew on some level that his partner was

not quite right, but he was financially dependent on P and an alcoholic as well.

> >

> > Now just days after his passing all of a sudden one of our neighbors isn't

answering my calls or texts. P has been known to try to stir up trouble for me

in the past and I am afraid he is doing it again, because he is angry that his

partner had started speaking to me again. I had just been considering offering

to have the restraining order overturned, IF he would get a psychiatric

evaluation and counseling possibly for anger management and if diagnosed BPD he

should be treated for that. I hadn't approached him about it yet via S, but I

was starting to think about it. Now that S is gone, I won't even consider it. As

most of us know, BPD's and other Personality Disordered persons are usually

considerably worse when they are grieving or feeling threatened with other

abandonment triggers.

> >

> > I am feeling paranoid that P has done something to try to turn my neighbors

against me. I am sad that S is gone and I can't take part in the grieving with

his family.

> >

> > I guess I want to know if I am being too paranoid?? What do my fellow KO's

think of this?

> >

> > C

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I think I just got confuesed on who S was and P, etc. Glad you have it under

control. Isn't it amazing how we manage to have all these unhealthy people

around us? I am a magnet for them myself. That is why I am trying my best to

hang with the people that encourage me and lift me up. Thank you for taking the

time to respond, and make sure you take care of you!

Bill Hade

billfunnyman@...

Re: a sick feeling in my stomach

Bill,

I was never going to contact him. I was, had S not died, start feeling out S to

see if HE thought that P would make the effort to receive counseling as a term

of lifting his restraining order. I am aware of how restraining orders work. I

know that I cannot say anything directly to P nor he to me, and I have taken

great measures with my actions and words to see that NOTHING I say or do could

be construed as an attempt at communication. Let me be clear, I DO NOT LIKE THIS

MAN. He has a problem and had he been given an order to receive anger management

counseling, as I had requested, in the first place, we might not have ever

gotten to the point of a restraining order, but instead, the courts chose to put

this man in alcohol awareness classes, which is a joke, because he had already

gone thru that program once before, because he was busted for DUI. I do not wish

to ever be this mans friend again or part of his life, but the seriousness of a

restraining order does weigh heavily on me. Even though the courts agreed with

me, that his behavior was escalating and disturbing, it doesn't mean that I

liked having to do that. The restraining order isn't just on HIS record, it is

on mine as well.

All that being said, it is a moot point. Now that S is gone and P is up to his

old tricks, I will never consider it. The thing that sucks is that having a

restraining order, doesn't protect you from that person spreading malignant and

false information to your friends and neighbors. Using the pity generated with

his partners passing is not out of a BPD's pervue either. I know, I sat there

and watched my own nada spread the most atrocious lies after her husband passed.

C

> >

> > my neighbor,(P) that I strongly suspect of being BPD and I KNOW is an

alcoholic, lost his partner (S) to an unexpected death. I have a restraining

order against P and S was one of my best friends until his partner started

escalating raging behavior toward me over the course of 18 months which

culminated in the restraining order. I am heartbroken over the death of S. He

and I were just beginning to speak again. We started to speak a little after my

husband passed away back in November. S knew on some level that his partner was

not quite right, but he was financially dependent on P and an alcoholic as well.

> >

> > Now just days after his passing all of a sudden one of our neighbors isn't

answering my calls or texts. P has been known to try to stir up trouble for me

in the past and I am afraid he is doing it again, because he is angry that his

partner had started speaking to me again. I had just been considering offering

to have the restraining order overturned, IF he would get a psychiatric

evaluation and counseling possibly for anger management and if diagnosed BPD he

should be treated for that. I hadn't approached him about it yet via S, but I

was starting to think about it. Now that S is gone, I won't even consider it. As

most of us know, BPD's and other Personality Disordered persons are usually

considerably worse when they are grieving or feeling threatened with other

abandonment triggers.

> >

> > I am feeling paranoid that P has done something to try to turn my neighbors

against me. I am sad that S is gone and I can't take part in the grieving with

his family.

> >

> > I guess I want to know if I am being too paranoid?? What do my fellow KO's

think of this?

> >

> > C

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>