Feeling like s***

[Guest guest]

I'm feeling shit. I don't know why but i've been getting worked up. I've just

started a new job so feel under pressure. I don't want to mess up and often

it's times like this that nada's negative influence comes into sabotage things

for me.

Nada is living in a residential home being paid for out of the money my father

saved over a period of about 50 years. He worked as a spraypainter so wasn't in

a well-paid job. They owned a house which was given to them by my paternal

grandfather who had been seriously injured in WW1 and was in receipt of 100%

pension as a result. She now plans to sell the house when all the savings have

run out in order for her to continue living in the rest home. There's nothing

wrong with her. She doesn't need to be there. She's lonely and the staff give

her attention. That's the only reason she's there. She's been there 2 years and

is only 82 now (she's the youngest there by about 10 years!)

When i was young (i've posted this before), I was only allowed one bath and

hairwash a week (this was up until i left at the age of 21). I bought a clock

radio which Nada insisted on turning off during the day because it cost money!

I used to have to reset the clock every night before I went to bed (hard work as

they used to be very fiddly!) I was only allowed to use the hairdryer for 10

minutes and i could only have one light on at a time ...if left my bedroom to go

to the toilet i had to turn the light off before i turned the other one on.

Even if i was using cold water i'd be told off for letting the tap run (there

was a fixed charge ...we weren't on a meter, so it made no difference as to how

much we paid). My bedroom was the only room in the house with no radiator when

they had central heating put in. This and being got at 24 hours a day made my

life hell and i was relieved to eventually get out aged 21. I'm now 51.

Then 8 years ago my father died. After this, Nada started talking about the way

she'd treated me, justifying it by saying " all that money we saved by not

letting you do things will come to you when I die " (!!!) She was obviously

dependent on me now Fada had died. I knew it was crap and she was trying to

msnipulate me, but I was stupid enough to believe that she intended to leave her

money to me. Now she's living in this home and that's all been forgotten. She

even suggested my husband and I take out a second mortgage on her house so she

doesn't have to sell it! (She's got tenants living there at the moment, but

their rent only covers half the fees she's paying at the home).

I'm outraged at the way she's treating me (though it's not a surprise and it's

no different to how badly she's always treated me!) When I mentioned to her all

that crap she spewed after Fada died about all the money coming to me, she tried

to make out she couldn't remember saying it (surprise! surprise!) When I

reminded her of how badly she treated me when I was young and living at her

house she replied " that's all in the past " .

Words can't describe how angry, hurt and outraged I feel. I've had enough and

just want to go nc with her for good.