Reaching out for advice to keep nada out of my life...

[Guest guest]

I was just responding to another thread and wrote,' I know a whole lot about

what doesn't work.'

I am using that knowledge to attempt again to keep her out.

Then I had an 'aha! moment' and realized that not only is this really true, I

also realized I am scared, really scared.

I can't fail this time..........she has already gotten to my husband, he asked

me for a divorce last night because 'I've changed and if I don't get my head

straight, he's done'. All of those words I read in an email to him a couple

months ago from nada to him.........although her's included, 'you better get her

head straight and in line'.

Even though I have stated, 'I will not have this woman in my life, in my home'.

He demanded I invite her to dinner for Easter. I refused to and stood my ground.

She 'dropped by' Easter morning and he let her in. In fact he ran ahead of me to

the door to open it and stand back to allow her in. This man has watched and

pointed out to me during our years together just how destructive she is to our

family and me in particular saying over and over again, 'do something about'.

And when I finally am............he now is 'blaming me and I am 100% responsible

for the issues in our relationship' and presenting himself as the 'martyr'.

This woman kidnapped my son (1988-when I allowed her to have him for a 4th of

July weekend visit--because 'she wanted time with her grandson').

Had it all set up (took me years to put the whole timeline together)..I drove up

to Oakland, Ca where she lived from San Diego, Ca where I lived and within hours

of dropping him off for the visit. She told me, she had plans to go to the coast

with him so if I called, just leave a message and she will pick them up and call

back. She stepped on a plane with him, first to SanDiego to pick up my ex

husband, she broke into my home- trashed the place and threw trash around- took

anything of value- went to my bank and had ex clean out the accounts (he was

still on for the navy to send the child support/ navy said his name had to be on

the account), flew out from there to Ohio where his parents lived, was at court

when it opened that week, and had ex turn over custody to his parents.

..........well I will stop there, this post isn't about that event and going into

the details would be writing a book.

Here this is easier-

Actions nada has taken in reaction to my previous attempts to get her and keep

her out of my life.

-kidnapped son 1988

-called child services

-called the cops on me for

-suspicion of drug use (no I wasn't)

-as missing person

-as a possible suicidal person

-suspicion of illegal activity

-as a person in danger and in a abusive relationship

-broken into my home

-called my boss and told him (this at a couple different places of employment

over the yrs) - I have a mental disability that I won't get help with, that I am

a thief, a liar, etc.

-she has flashed her privates, groped and pursued EVERY male I have dated and

she has met. (including at 16 my first date).

-she has stalked me

There's more but those are a few of the highlights.

Currently as I said, she has gotten to my husband and is working on my 25yr old

son. And last week my 12yr old daughter looked me directly eye to eye and said,

'grandma says you are a liar'.

I will not, can not live with her in my life anymore....keeping her out.......

is truly a choice I have made for myself. Failing....terrifies me.........she

has destroyed every thing I have ever built for myself......over and

over.........I can't live that anymore.........

please help........like I said when I started this post....I know a whole lot

about what hasn't worked.....

I am asking for 'what has worked for you?'---'what hasn't that I might be on

watch for'----'what has anyone done to be protect themselves and their kids from

the retaliations'----

Anything you feel you want to offer, please.....do....

Tikivixen

(a)

[Guest guest]

this isn't so much a 'what's worked post as a mini-validation: put on your

pointiest boots and kick that turn tail, wimpy excuse for a husband square in

the ass. He's guilty of " triangulating " with nada, and that is a totally

unforgivable act!

>

>

> I was just responding to another thread and wrote,' I know a whole lot about

what doesn't work.'

> I am using that knowledge to attempt again to keep her out.

>

> Then I had an 'aha! moment' and realized that not only is this really true, I

also realized I am scared, really scared.

> I can't fail this time..........she has already gotten to my husband, he asked

me for a divorce last night because 'I've changed and if I don't get my head

straight, he's done'. All of those words I read in an email to him a couple

months ago from nada to him.........although her's included, 'you better get her

head straight and in line'.

>

> Even though I have stated, 'I will not have this woman in my life, in my

home'. He demanded I invite her to dinner for Easter. I refused to and stood my

ground. She 'dropped by' Easter morning and he let her in. In fact he ran ahead

of me to the door to open it and stand back to allow her in. This man has

watched and pointed out to me during our years together just how destructive she

is to our family and me in particular saying over and over again, 'do something

about'. And when I finally am............he now is 'blaming me and I am 100%

responsible for the issues in our relationship' and presenting himself as the

'martyr'.

>

> This woman kidnapped my son (1988-when I allowed her to have him for a 4th of

July weekend visit--because 'she wanted time with her grandson').

> Had it all set up (took me years to put the whole timeline together)..I drove

up to Oakland, Ca where she lived from San Diego, Ca where I lived and within

hours of dropping him off for the visit. She told me, she had plans to go to the

coast with him so if I called, just leave a message and she will pick them up

and call back. She stepped on a plane with him, first to SanDiego to pick up my

ex husband, she broke into my home- trashed the place and threw trash around-

took anything of value- went to my bank and had ex clean out the accounts (he

was still on for the navy to send the child support/ navy said his name had to

be on the account), flew out from there to Ohio where his parents lived, was at

court when it opened that week, and had ex turn over custody to his parents.

> .........well I will stop there, this post isn't about that event and going

into the details would be writing a book.

>

> Here this is easier-

> Actions nada has taken in reaction to my previous attempts to get her and keep

her out of my life.

> -kidnapped son 1988

> -called child services

> -called the cops on me for

> -suspicion of drug use (no I wasn't)

> -as missing person

> -as a possible suicidal person

> -suspicion of illegal activity

> -as a person in danger and in a abusive relationship

> -broken into my home

> -called my boss and told him (this at a couple different places of employment

over the yrs) - I have a mental disability that I won't get help with, that I am

a thief, a liar, etc.

> -she has flashed her privates, groped and pursued EVERY male I have dated and

she has met. (including at 16 my first date).

> -she has stalked me

>

> There's more but those are a few of the highlights.

>

> Currently as I said, she has gotten to my husband and is working on my 25yr

old son. And last week my 12yr old daughter looked me directly eye to eye and

said, 'grandma says you are a liar'.

>

> I will not, can not live with her in my life anymore....keeping her out.......

is truly a choice I have made for myself. Failing....terrifies me.........she

has destroyed every thing I have ever built for myself......over and

over.........I can't live that anymore.........

>

> please help........like I said when I started this post....I know a whole lot

about what hasn't worked.....

>

> I am asking for 'what has worked for you?'---'what hasn't that I might be on

watch for'----'what has anyone done to be protect themselves and their kids from

the retaliations'----

>

> Anything you feel you want to offer, please.....do....

>

> Tikivixen

> (a)

>

[Guest guest]

this isn't so much a 'what's worked post as a mini-validation: put on your

pointiest boots and kick that turn tail, wimpy excuse for a husband square in

the ass. He's guilty of " triangulating " with nada, and that is a totally

unforgivable act!

>

>

> I was just responding to another thread and wrote,' I know a whole lot about

what doesn't work.'

> I am using that knowledge to attempt again to keep her out.

>

> Then I had an 'aha! moment' and realized that not only is this really true, I

also realized I am scared, really scared.

> I can't fail this time..........she has already gotten to my husband, he asked

me for a divorce last night because 'I've changed and if I don't get my head

straight, he's done'. All of those words I read in an email to him a couple

months ago from nada to him.........although her's included, 'you better get her

head straight and in line'.

>

> Even though I have stated, 'I will not have this woman in my life, in my

home'. He demanded I invite her to dinner for Easter. I refused to and stood my

ground. She 'dropped by' Easter morning and he let her in. In fact he ran ahead

of me to the door to open it and stand back to allow her in. This man has

watched and pointed out to me during our years together just how destructive she

is to our family and me in particular saying over and over again, 'do something

about'. And when I finally am............he now is 'blaming me and I am 100%

responsible for the issues in our relationship' and presenting himself as the

'martyr'.

>

> This woman kidnapped my son (1988-when I allowed her to have him for a 4th of

July weekend visit--because 'she wanted time with her grandson').

> Had it all set up (took me years to put the whole timeline together)..I drove

up to Oakland, Ca where she lived from San Diego, Ca where I lived and within

hours of dropping him off for the visit. She told me, she had plans to go to the

coast with him so if I called, just leave a message and she will pick them up

and call back. She stepped on a plane with him, first to SanDiego to pick up my

ex husband, she broke into my home- trashed the place and threw trash around-

took anything of value- went to my bank and had ex clean out the accounts (he

was still on for the navy to send the child support/ navy said his name had to

be on the account), flew out from there to Ohio where his parents lived, was at

court when it opened that week, and had ex turn over custody to his parents.

> .........well I will stop there, this post isn't about that event and going

into the details would be writing a book.

>

> Here this is easier-

> Actions nada has taken in reaction to my previous attempts to get her and keep

her out of my life.

> -kidnapped son 1988

> -called child services

> -called the cops on me for

> -suspicion of drug use (no I wasn't)

> -as missing person

> -as a possible suicidal person

> -suspicion of illegal activity

> -as a person in danger and in a abusive relationship

> -broken into my home

> -called my boss and told him (this at a couple different places of employment

over the yrs) - I have a mental disability that I won't get help with, that I am

a thief, a liar, etc.

> -she has flashed her privates, groped and pursued EVERY male I have dated and

she has met. (including at 16 my first date).

> -she has stalked me

>

> There's more but those are a few of the highlights.

>

> Currently as I said, she has gotten to my husband and is working on my 25yr

old son. And last week my 12yr old daughter looked me directly eye to eye and

said, 'grandma says you are a liar'.

>

> I will not, can not live with her in my life anymore....keeping her out.......

is truly a choice I have made for myself. Failing....terrifies me.........she

has destroyed every thing I have ever built for myself......over and

over.........I can't live that anymore.........

>

> please help........like I said when I started this post....I know a whole lot

about what hasn't worked.....

>

> I am asking for 'what has worked for you?'---'what hasn't that I might be on

watch for'----'what has anyone done to be protect themselves and their kids from

the retaliations'----

>

> Anything you feel you want to offer, please.....do....

>

> Tikivixen

> (a)

>

[Guest guest]

a,

Have you been keeping a written record of what she does and

calling the police when she's breaks the law? If not, I

recommend doing so. Breaking into your house is a crime and even

if you can't prove it was her, it is important for the

authorities to have it on record when that kind of thing

happens. Stalking is a crime in many places. If you can show

she's doing it you can take actions against her in accordance

with the law where you live. You may be able to get a

restraining order against her. Have you talked to the

authorities at all about what kind of options you have? If not,

I'd find out what the local laws say and how you go about taking

action. You may need to put it in writing that you don't want to

have contact with her and send it to her by certified mail so

that she can't deny she knows.

I'm unclear whether you want to try to make things work with

your husband or not. His current attitude sounds like a major

obstacle in dealing with the situation. If you're going to stay

together, I think some counselling is called for. If you are

going to get divorced, it sounds like separating yourselves as

soon as possible might be in order because he's going directly

against your attempts at protecting yourself and you can't stand

firm while he's doing the opposite.

Good luck.

At 01:08 PM 04/20/2012 tikkivixen wrote:

>I was just responding to another thread and wrote,' I know a

>whole lot about what doesn't work.'

>I am using that knowledge to attempt again to keep her out.

>

>Then I had an 'aha! moment' and realized that not only is this

>really true, I also realized I am scared, really scared.

>I can't fail this time..........she has already gotten to my

>husband, he asked me for a divorce last night because 'I've

>changed and if I don't get my head straight, he's done'. All of

>those words I read in an email to him a couple months ago from

>nada to him.........although her's included, 'you better get

>her head straight and in line'.

>

>Even though I have stated, 'I will not have this woman in my

>life, in my home'. He demanded I invite her to dinner for

>Easter. I refused to and stood my ground. She 'dropped by'

>Easter morning and he let her in. In fact he ran ahead of me to

>the door to open it and stand back to allow her in. This man

>has watched and pointed out to me during our years together

>just how destructive she is to our family and me in particular

>saying over and over again, 'do something about'. And when I

>finally am............he now is 'blaming me and I am 100%

>responsible for the issues in our relationship' and presenting

>himself as the 'martyr'.

>

>This woman kidnapped my son (1988-when I allowed her to have

>him for a 4th of July weekend visit--because 'she wanted time

>with her grandson').

>Had it all set up (took me years to put the whole timeline

>together)..I drove up to Oakland, Ca where she lived from San

>Diego, Ca where I lived and within hours of dropping him off

>for the visit. She told me, she had plans to go to the coast

>with him so if I called, just leave a message and she will pick

>them up and call back. She stepped on a plane with him, first

>to SanDiego to pick up my ex husband, she broke into my home-

>trashed the place and threw trash around- took anything of

>value- went to my bank and had ex clean out the accounts (he

>was still on for the navy to send the child support/ navy said

>his name had to be on the account), flew out from there to Ohio

>where his parents lived, was at court when it opened that week,

>and had ex turn over custody to his parents.

>.........well I will stop there, this post isn't about that

>event and going into the details would be writing a book.

>

>Here this is easier-

>Actions nada has taken in reaction to my previous attempts to

>get her and keep her out of my life.

>-kidnapped son 1988

>-called child services

>-called the cops on me for

> -suspicion of drug use (no I wasn't)

> -as missing person

> -as a possible suicidal person

> -suspicion of illegal activity

> -as a person in danger and in a abusive relationship

>-broken into my home

>-called my boss and told him (this at a couple different places

>of employment over the yrs) - I have a mental disability that I

>won't get help with, that I am a thief, a liar, etc.

>-she has flashed her privates, groped and pursued EVERY male I

>have dated and she has met. (including at 16 my first date).

>-she has stalked me

>

>There's more but those are a few of the highlights.

>

>Currently as I said, she has gotten to my husband and is

>working on my 25yr old son. And last week my 12yr old daughter

>looked me directly eye to eye and said, 'grandma says you are a

>liar'.

>

>I will not, can not live with her in my life anymore....keeping

>her out....... is truly a choice I have made for myself.

>Failing....terrifies me.........she has destroyed every thing I

>have ever built for myself......over and over.........I can't

>live that anymore.........

>

>please help........like I said when I started this post....I

>know a whole lot about what hasn't worked.....

>

>I am asking for 'what has worked for you?'---'what hasn't that

>I might be on watch for'----'what has anyone done to be protect

>themselves and their kids from the retaliations'----

>

>Anything you feel you want to offer, please.....do....

>

>Tikivixen

>(a)

>

--

Katrina

[Guest guest]

a,

Have you been keeping a written record of what she does and

calling the police when she's breaks the law? If not, I

recommend doing so. Breaking into your house is a crime and even

if you can't prove it was her, it is important for the

authorities to have it on record when that kind of thing

happens. Stalking is a crime in many places. If you can show

she's doing it you can take actions against her in accordance

with the law where you live. You may be able to get a

restraining order against her. Have you talked to the

authorities at all about what kind of options you have? If not,

I'd find out what the local laws say and how you go about taking

action. You may need to put it in writing that you don't want to

have contact with her and send it to her by certified mail so

that she can't deny she knows.

I'm unclear whether you want to try to make things work with

your husband or not. His current attitude sounds like a major

obstacle in dealing with the situation. If you're going to stay

together, I think some counselling is called for. If you are

going to get divorced, it sounds like separating yourselves as

soon as possible might be in order because he's going directly

against your attempts at protecting yourself and you can't stand

firm while he's doing the opposite.

Good luck.

At 01:08 PM 04/20/2012 tikkivixen wrote:

>I was just responding to another thread and wrote,' I know a

>whole lot about what doesn't work.'

>I am using that knowledge to attempt again to keep her out.

>

>Then I had an 'aha! moment' and realized that not only is this

>really true, I also realized I am scared, really scared.

>I can't fail this time..........she has already gotten to my

>husband, he asked me for a divorce last night because 'I've

>changed and if I don't get my head straight, he's done'. All of

>those words I read in an email to him a couple months ago from

>nada to him.........although her's included, 'you better get

>her head straight and in line'.

>

>Even though I have stated, 'I will not have this woman in my

>life, in my home'. He demanded I invite her to dinner for

>Easter. I refused to and stood my ground. She 'dropped by'

>Easter morning and he let her in. In fact he ran ahead of me to

>the door to open it and stand back to allow her in. This man

>has watched and pointed out to me during our years together

>just how destructive she is to our family and me in particular

>saying over and over again, 'do something about'. And when I

>finally am............he now is 'blaming me and I am 100%

>responsible for the issues in our relationship' and presenting

>himself as the 'martyr'.

>

>This woman kidnapped my son (1988-when I allowed her to have

>him for a 4th of July weekend visit--because 'she wanted time

>with her grandson').

>Had it all set up (took me years to put the whole timeline

>together)..I drove up to Oakland, Ca where she lived from San

>Diego, Ca where I lived and within hours of dropping him off

>for the visit. She told me, she had plans to go to the coast

>with him so if I called, just leave a message and she will pick

>them up and call back. She stepped on a plane with him, first

>to SanDiego to pick up my ex husband, she broke into my home-

>trashed the place and threw trash around- took anything of

>value- went to my bank and had ex clean out the accounts (he

>was still on for the navy to send the child support/ navy said

>his name had to be on the account), flew out from there to Ohio

>where his parents lived, was at court when it opened that week,

>and had ex turn over custody to his parents.

>.........well I will stop there, this post isn't about that

>event and going into the details would be writing a book.

>

>Here this is easier-

>Actions nada has taken in reaction to my previous attempts to

>get her and keep her out of my life.

>-kidnapped son 1988

>-called child services

>-called the cops on me for

> -suspicion of drug use (no I wasn't)

> -as missing person

> -as a possible suicidal person

> -suspicion of illegal activity

> -as a person in danger and in a abusive relationship

>-broken into my home

>-called my boss and told him (this at a couple different places

>of employment over the yrs) - I have a mental disability that I

>won't get help with, that I am a thief, a liar, etc.

>-she has flashed her privates, groped and pursued EVERY male I

>have dated and she has met. (including at 16 my first date).

>-she has stalked me

>

>There's more but those are a few of the highlights.

>

>Currently as I said, she has gotten to my husband and is

>working on my 25yr old son. And last week my 12yr old daughter

>looked me directly eye to eye and said, 'grandma says you are a

>liar'.

>

>I will not, can not live with her in my life anymore....keeping

>her out....... is truly a choice I have made for myself.

>Failing....terrifies me.........she has destroyed every thing I

>have ever built for myself......over and over.........I can't

>live that anymore.........

>

>please help........like I said when I started this post....I

>know a whole lot about what hasn't worked.....

>

>I am asking for 'what has worked for you?'---'what hasn't that

>I might be on watch for'----'what has anyone done to be protect

>themselves and their kids from the retaliations'----

>

>Anything you feel you want to offer, please.....do....

>

>Tikivixen

>(a)

>

--

Katrina

[Guest guest]

Hi

The list is of things she has done are specific events that span almost 30years

and no I don't have records of those.

I have however made sure to only have email communications with her since this

break away started in July 2011. I have kept every email she has written.

Several reveal her 'crazy'. As she appears soooooo very professional, together,

etc and has this ability to convince people of her validity and truth no matter

how twisted I know it to be.........my hope is, that if/when she takes these

actions again, I can present these to the authorities and show a pattern of

behavior in contrast to what she is presenting. I know from past experience that

she will deny/lie when I have challenged her before in these situations with the

real truth and has been believed over me because I was quoting from all verbal

conversations between her and I.

At this exact moment, because of the husband, she still thinks she will be able

to get in.......I am working on a letter to her that will basically state my

choice and boundaries.

I am currently on the 3rd draft because again I know I have to extremely careful

in the wording so it won't/can't be used against me in a legal situation.

Do you think this will be enough?

a

>

> >I was just responding to another thread and wrote,' I know a

> >whole lot about what doesn't work.'

> >I am using that knowledge to attempt again to keep her out.

> >

> >Then I had an 'aha! moment' and realized that not only is this

> >really true, I also realized I am scared, really scared.

> >I can't fail this time..........she has already gotten to my

> >husband, he asked me for a divorce last night because 'I've

> >changed and if I don't get my head straight, he's done'. All of

> >those words I read in an email to him a couple months ago from

> >nada to him.........although her's included, 'you better get

> >her head straight and in line'.

> >

> >Even though I have stated, 'I will not have this woman in my

> >life, in my home'. He demanded I invite her to dinner for

> >Easter. I refused to and stood my ground. She 'dropped by'

> >Easter morning and he let her in. In fact he ran ahead of me to

> >the door to open it and stand back to allow her in. This man

> >has watched and pointed out to me during our years together

> >just how destructive she is to our family and me in particular

> >saying over and over again, 'do something about'. And when I

> >finally am............he now is 'blaming me and I am 100%

> >responsible for the issues in our relationship' and presenting

> >himself as the 'martyr'.

> >

> >This woman kidnapped my son (1988-when I allowed her to have

> >him for a 4th of July weekend visit--because 'she wanted time

> >with her grandson').

> >Had it all set up (took me years to put the whole timeline

> >together)..I drove up to Oakland, Ca where she lived from San

> >Diego, Ca where I lived and within hours of dropping him off

> >for the visit. She told me, she had plans to go to the coast

> >with him so if I called, just leave a message and she will pick

> >them up and call back. She stepped on a plane with him, first

> >to SanDiego to pick up my ex husband, she broke into my home-

> >trashed the place and threw trash around- took anything of

> >value- went to my bank and had ex clean out the accounts (he

> >was still on for the navy to send the child support/ navy said

> >his name had to be on the account), flew out from there to Ohio

> >where his parents lived, was at court when it opened that week,

> >and had ex turn over custody to his parents.

> >.........well I will stop there, this post isn't about that

> >event and going into the details would be writing a book.

> >

> >Here this is easier-

> >Actions nada has taken in reaction to my previous attempts to

> >get her and keep her out of my life.

> >-kidnapped son 1988

> >-called child services

> >-called the cops on me for

> > -suspicion of drug use (no I wasn't)

> > -as missing person

> > -as a possible suicidal person

> > -suspicion of illegal activity

> > -as a person in danger and in a abusive relationship

> >-broken into my home

> >-called my boss and told him (this at a couple different places

> >of employment over the yrs) - I have a mental disability that I

> >won't get help with, that I am a thief, a liar, etc.

> >-she has flashed her privates, groped and pursued EVERY male I

> >have dated and she has met. (including at 16 my first date).

> >-she has stalked me

> >

> >There's more but those are a few of the highlights.

> >

> >Currently as I said, she has gotten to my husband and is

> >working on my 25yr old son. And last week my 12yr old daughter

> >looked me directly eye to eye and said, 'grandma says you are a

> >liar'.

> >

> >I will not, can not live with her in my life anymore....keeping

> >her out....... is truly a choice I have made for myself.

> >Failing....terrifies me.........she has destroyed every thing I

> >have ever built for myself......over and over.........I can't

> >live that anymore.........

> >

> >please help........like I said when I started this post....I

> >know a whole lot about what hasn't worked.....

> >

> >I am asking for 'what has worked for you?'---'what hasn't that

> >I might be on watch for'----'what has anyone done to be protect

> >themselves and their kids from the retaliations'----

> >

> >Anything you feel you want to offer, please.....do....

> >

> >Tikivixen

> >(a)

> >

>

> --

> Katrina

>

[Guest guest]

So sorry you are going through all of this, hugs and good thoughts towards you

________________________________

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Sent: Saturday, April 21, 2012 4:21 AM

Subject: Re: Reaching out for advice to keep nada out of my

life...

 

Thank you for the every word Echo.

It does look like we are heading down the road at ever increasing speed to

divorce. When I look back I will most likely identify his stand on this as the

break point.

Right now I am using every bit of my sharp analytic intelligence to keep aware

and in some kind of control on these situations. My promise to myself is, I will

cry later. I simply don't have a safe place to do that right now. As both

husband and nada will use any show of weakness as a club against me.

Can you hear the exhaustion in my writing?

I hurt so bad.

> >

> >

> > I was just responding to another thread and wrote,' I know a whole lot about

what doesn't work.'

> > I am using that knowledge to attempt again to keep her out.

> >

> > Then I had an 'aha! moment' and realized that not only is this really true,

I also realized I am scared, really scared.

> > I can't fail this time..........she has already gotten to my husband, he

asked me for a divorce last night because 'I've changed and if I don't get my

head straight, he's done'. All of those words I read in an email to him a couple

months ago from nada to him.........although her's included, 'you better get her

head straight and in line'.

> >

> > Even though I have stated, 'I will not have this woman in my life, in my

home'. He demanded I invite her to dinner for Easter. I refused to and stood my

ground. She 'dropped by' Easter morning and he let her in. In fact he ran ahead

of me to the door to open it and stand back to allow her in. This man has

watched and pointed out to me during our years together just how destructive she

is to our family and me in particular saying over and over again, 'do something

about'. And when I finally am............he now is 'blaming me and I am 100%

responsible for the issues in our relationship' and presenting himself as the

'martyr'.

> >

> > This woman kidnapped my son (1988-when I allowed her to have him for a 4th

of July weekend visit--because 'she wanted time with her grandson').

> > Had it all set up (took me years to put the whole timeline together)..I

drove up to Oakland, Ca where she lived from San Diego, Ca where I lived and

within hours of dropping him off for the visit. She told me, she had plans to go

to the coast with him so if I called, just leave a message and she will pick

them up and call back. She stepped on a plane with him, first to SanDiego to

pick up my ex husband, she broke into my home- trashed the place and threw trash

around- took anything of value- went to my bank and had ex clean out the

accounts (he was still on for the navy to send the child support/ navy said his

name had to be on the account), flew out from there to Ohio where his parents

lived, was at court when it opened that week, and had ex turn over custody to

his parents.

> > .........well I will stop there, this post isn't about that event and going

into the details would be writing a book.

> >

> > Here this is easier-

> > Actions nada has taken in reaction to my previous attempts to get her and

keep her out of my life.

> > -kidnapped son 1988

> > -called child services

> > -called the cops on me for

> > -suspicion of drug use (no I wasn't)

> > -as missing person

> > -as a possible suicidal person

> > -suspicion of illegal activity

> > -as a person in danger and in a abusive relationship

> > -broken into my home

> > -called my boss and told him (this at a couple different places of

employment over the yrs) - I have a mental disability that I won't get help

with, that I am a thief, a liar, etc.

> > -she has flashed her privates, groped and pursued EVERY male I have dated

and she has met. (including at 16 my first date).

> > -she has stalked me

> >

> > There's more but those are a few of the highlights.

> >

> > Currently as I said, she has gotten to my husband and is working on my 25yr

old son. And last week my 12yr old daughter looked me directly eye to eye and

said, 'grandma says you are a liar'.

> >

> > I will not, can not live with her in my life anymore....keeping her

out....... is truly a choice I have made for myself. Failing....terrifies

me.........she has destroyed every thing I have ever built for myself......over

and over.........I can't live that anymore.........

> >

> > please help........like I said when I started this post....I know a whole

lot about what hasn't worked.....

> >

> > I am asking for 'what has worked for you?'---'what hasn't that I might be on

watch for'----'what has anyone done to be protect themselves and their kids from

the retaliations'----

> >

> > Anything you feel you want to offer, please.....do....

> >

> > Tikivixen

> > (a)

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Katrina

Gotta say my first reaction to sending a letter certified mail telling her to

stay away from me and my family........scares the (put expletive here).....out

of me. I can almost feel the little girl in me whimpering in fright.

guess I am going to have to dig down and put my big girl panties on....now if I

can just remember where I put those???? humm....

Seriously tho, thank you for clarifying and the support. I know it will be

necessary.

Sigh''''''''

> >Hi

> >

> >The list is of things she has done are specific events that

> >span almost 30years and no I don't have records of those.

> >I have however made sure to only have email communications with

> >her since this break away started in July 2011. I have kept

> >every email she has written. Several reveal her 'crazy'. As she

> >appears soooooo very professional, together, etc and has this

> >ability to convince people of her validity and truth no matter

> >how twisted I know it to be.........my hope is, that if/when

> >she takes these actions again, I can present these to the

> >authorities and show a pattern of behavior in contrast to what

> >she is presenting. I know from past experience that she will

> >deny/lie when I have challenged her before in these situations

> >with the real truth and has been believed over me because I was

> >quoting from all verbal conversations between her and I.

> >

> >At this exact moment, because of the husband, she still thinks

> >she will be able to get in.......I am working on a letter to

> >her that will basically state my choice and boundaries.

> >I am currently on the 3rd draft because again I know I have to

> >extremely careful in the wording so it won't/can't be used

> >against me in a legal situation.

> >

> >Do you think this will be enough?

> >

> >a

>

> --

> Katrina

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Katrina

Gotta say my first reaction to sending a letter certified mail telling her to

stay away from me and my family........scares the (put expletive here).....out

of me. I can almost feel the little girl in me whimpering in fright.

guess I am going to have to dig down and put my big girl panties on....now if I

can just remember where I put those???? humm....

Seriously tho, thank you for clarifying and the support. I know it will be

necessary.

Sigh''''''''

> >Hi

> >

> >The list is of things she has done are specific events that

> >span almost 30years and no I don't have records of those.

> >I have however made sure to only have email communications with

> >her since this break away started in July 2011. I have kept

> >every email she has written. Several reveal her 'crazy'. As she

> >appears soooooo very professional, together, etc and has this

> >ability to convince people of her validity and truth no matter

> >how twisted I know it to be.........my hope is, that if/when

> >she takes these actions again, I can present these to the

> >authorities and show a pattern of behavior in contrast to what

> >she is presenting. I know from past experience that she will

> >deny/lie when I have challenged her before in these situations

> >with the real truth and has been believed over me because I was

> >quoting from all verbal conversations between her and I.

> >

> >At this exact moment, because of the husband, she still thinks

> >she will be able to get in.......I am working on a letter to

> >her that will basically state my choice and boundaries.

> >I am currently on the 3rd draft because again I know I have to

> >extremely careful in the wording so it won't/can't be used

> >against me in a legal situation.

> >

> >Do you think this will be enough?

> >

> >a

>

> --

> Katrina

>