Epiphany: Why We are Split Black or White

[Guest guest]

'to reduce another person to an object is the primal wrong.'--

Dear WTO,

I stumbled upon an astoundingly validating Truth this weekend. I realized that,

when splitting children black or white, nada was using, subconsciously, an

evil-genius approach to how she could PLAY us. If my split-good sister, had

been split black, she would have become useless to nada. She would have become

a borderline herself, or killed herself (which she did actually attempt the few

tiny times she *was split black). I, on the other hand, was useful as the

scapegoat. I could take the self-loathing nada needed to project, and take it

and take it, and stay whole--and keep trying to please her, and keep begging for

more.

Nada played us like instruments. She needed to project (and to deny that

projection). She knew instinctively that Golden child was useable as a

Princess, and I was useable as a Pig.

This was because my sister was weak; and I was strong, loyal and loving.

Not because my sister was prettier. Not because my sister's talents were any

more valuable than my talents. Not because ANYTHING nada said about EITHER of

us was true. At ALL. This splitting happened ONLY because nada had gaping

needs to harm us both, and she knew instinctively how we each could be played,

and remain useful to her.

Now that I comprehend this in my mind, I can work on believing it in my bones,

and this will help free me from a lifetime of hurt. Because comparing me to the

golden sibling--saying I was wretched but SIBLING, was good, loved and

perfect--was the single most painful and damaging thing nada did to me.

I hope that this rings true and comforts some of you too!

--Charlie