Feeling question and thoughts

[Guest guest]

I was on a first date a couple nights ago, and the woman was expressing negative

regarding the career prospects post science PhD.  I was commiserating with her,

(I've also gots the science PhD) but it seems like she was getting stuck in some

negative emotions.  I was feeling uncomfortable with her expressing that

emotion, so I said something along the lines of " I know we're not making bank,

but I'm happy.  It's enough take a hot date out for some great food. "  That got

a smile and laugh out of her.  

While reflecting on this, I realize I was trying to prevent her from feeling

negative feelings.  I feel this wasn't the correct approach.  In extreme

circumstances (e.g. a death), I ask " I can listen if you want to talk.  Or would

you like a distraction? "  Some times they want to talk, sometimes they want a

distraction. I know that my response during the date originates in growing up in

an environment where I was responsible for my FADA's emotional state.  I want to

move beyond that sort of interaction.

In a related thought, I can't watch embarrassing scenes in movies.  It just

makes me feel horrible.  It's been like this since my teen years.  But I think

that forcing myself to watch it would force me to confront painful feelings.

 Maybe if I can allow myself to feel yucky feelings, I'll have an easier being

around others with yucky feelings.

Does any of this resonate with anyone?